A Little Beacon of Light!

A Little Beacon of Light!

© By Allen Merritt (2017)

With all the chaos and craziness permeating throughout society these days it is easy to understand how one can get caught up in it. There are plenty of things distracting us, disturbing us and impacting us on many different levels. I can personally attest to it as I try to navigate through the day to day successfully. It’s tough, there’s no doubt. Sometimes I feel it hurts my brain. But if we’re not careful, it can hurt our heart and above all our spirit. As long as many people (at least in our country) are feeling put upon, put out, left out, infringed upon and taken advantage of, the idea of having a huge weight on our shoulders will continue to press down upon us.

I think it is important this week to re-discover and/or discuss separating truth from fiction; the inside from the outside. Getting caught up in all the hub-bub (sometimes we have no choice) truly impacts our quality of life. Since the goal is to remain positive, happy and healthy, it might pay to reconsider our personal perspectives and how to get back to our “self” in such moments.

Lately, I have felt some of this “heavy laden” on my person. When this happens I know it’s time to step back a little; not to disappear, but to reassess and make sure I am still here. The reason I say that is because more often than not, the rest of the world doesn’t want to hear from us or acknowledge us. The force of that can make people feel worthless and empty. Everyone wants to be accepted and embraced in some capacity for whom and what they are and are trying to become.

One key issue in becoming is letting go of those who aren’t interested. I think that is self-explanatory. It’s all about surrounding yourself with the right sort of people. However, there is the other side of the coin. What if the right kinds of people just aren’t there?

My thought this week is to remember to not beat yourself up or be too hard on yourself OR others for that matter. Look inside instead of looking outside. We must accept and embrace the true core of our ‘self’ to stand any chance of finding those appropriate others to spend time with.

I watched a television show last night that reminded me of the idea of looking toward the light, making that the center of our lives and allowing the rest to be what it will be. We do not have to prove anything to anyone when we are focused on our little internal light. Just have to switch it on. Once you switch it on, you see things from a greater and deeper perspective as it pertains to your life, your gifts, talents and abilities. Think of it as proof of life, so to speak. There your purpose begins to thrive and burn brightly and eventually comes fully alive. Sometimes that light gets squashed out in the real world. Don’t let it. As the old song says, “You can’t be a beacon if your light don’t shine.”

When people say and do things or don’t say or do things that squelch our light, it’s easy to fall into negative patterns; maybe even give up. But I think if we focus on the heart of the matter we are more likely to find that peace beyond all understanding and bring forth joy despite it all. To me, that is far more worth living for than worrying about what other people think, do or staying focused on all the “schtuff” going on out there.

When it comes to staying true to yourself, your skills, talents, abilities and capabilities, you have to begin inside yourself. If everything seems like it is going haywire and nowhere real fast, then maybe the direction is off or its time to consider new ideas. I think most people probably have a true sense of who they are even if they aren’t sure where they are going or if they have found what they want. Staying in that safe place helps dodge the obstacles being thrown at us.

I am also reminded of the children’s song,” This Little Light of Mine.”

This little light of mine

I’m gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I’m gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I’m gonna let it shine

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!

Have you ever heard a bunch of kids singing that little diddy? It’s powerful.

Let’s focus this week on attending to the heart of the matter, that little light within so that our positivity and passion illuminates our soul and spills out for others to see.

Have a great week and here’s to living life on a positive note!

Cheers

Simple and To the Point!

Simple and To the Point!

© By Allen Merritt (2017)

I felt pretty good one rain driven Saturday afternoon when I was invited to help out at a local church. My job was to operate the sound system and audio capture a wedding ceremony.  I was told it would be easy peazy; simple and to the point. 

I was happy to have something to do which didn't require me to commute several hours to work.  I chalked this one up on the positivity board as something to be grateful for, rain and all. 

In any case, I took the job, arrived early enough to set up and prepared. When I arrived several members of the wedding party were in front of the sanctuary posing for a wedding photographer. Nothing fancy. All were simply dressed in dress clothes. I observed nothing in the way of fancy long flowing wedding gowns or black tuxedos. This event was (again) simplest and to the point. 

People gathered to honor the bride and groom without fanfare. In fact, I couldn't even separate the wedding couple from the guests. From what I could see, it appeared that the older family members were being photographed.

I quickly ascertained it wasn't your standard froo  froo with hoards of chiffon and lace, flowers (there were none), crowds, special music and of course rice or a "just married" sign attached to a car along with strung cans designed to rattle and draw attention to the couple as they drove off into the wild blue yonder to begin their lives together. 

It was a plain affair. Simplistic and pleasant despite the rain.  

In that moment I realized you do not need anything ornate and over the top to create a happy moment or memory.  Another positive thought was that it doesn't take much and little things mean a lot; simple and to the point.

There was an err of effortlessness to what I was witnessing. Not stressful as some wedding's are. No bridezillas anywhere in sight!

The next thing that caught my attention was learning who the bride and groom were. Both were over 80 years old. What I thought were the parents or grandparents were actually the happy couple! The woman had just retired three days earlier. Here they were, having lived pretty full lives and were now beginning a new chapter; with each other. They were moving forward and simultaneously moving on. I couldn't help but smile. It was so cute and broke all stereotypes. Two people making the most out of every moment. If anyone can teach us positivity in motion, it is these two seniors.

Candles were out on the communion table. There was a big one front and center representing the union of the two into one. That candle was surround by two smaller long tapered candles signifying their individual lives prior to this day. 

The ceremony was short and sweet. Cut the cakes. Have some punch. Celebrate with friends and family toasting and honoring the happy pair. Come rain or shine, life simply goes on.

Impressive.

Simple.

I am thankful to have witnessed this moment in time, standing on the perimeter; grateful to experience and learn from these giants that stand before me. This is what positive living is all about.

Keeping it real

Keeping it simple

Keeping everything on point.

This is something we all can learn from.

Until next time, remember to keep it simple and to the point.

Cheers!

It’s Cold Outside!

It’s Cold Outside!

© By Allen Merritt (2017)

Baby, it’s cold outside. Oh, yes it is!

It has been unusually cold in my neck of the woods lately. It really feels like winter, but in a foreign sort of way. You see I live in a warm state. It never gets so cold you can't stand it or are inhibited by it for great lengths of time. I like it that way, which is why I left the northeastern part of the country for the great southwest. It’s not that I can’t handle a little bit of snow; it’s just that I don’t want to be burdened, enclosed or stuck for months on end by it. It gets to be too much.

It occurs to me that this blast of cold hits us both literally and figuratively. I especially noticed the duality of this thought while working a job this week. I thought it would be a good topic for this week’s discussion on recognizing the polarities of negative and positive.

I booked a two day job assignment requiring me to work overnight hours on a film shoot. As it turned out, the weather was freezing cold and quite frigid. Despite this arctic blast, we were trying to make it appear more like 85 degree weather. People were wrapped in blankets, bundled in coats and periodically had to throw them off prior to a shot. They had to hide them throughout the night for up to twelve hours. When the wind kicked up, the wind chill factor made in difficult to work. And, at three in the morning, it really becomes painful.

At times the crew members were feeling the pressure of it all and needless-to-say temperaments were short to the point people were behaving very coldly (pun intended) to one another. So this brunt of negativity was smacking us around every which way but loose. This made it difficult to maintain a positive sense of composure, because people start to feel attacked when confronted by cold personalities coupled with uncomfortable living conditions or environmental situations. 

I found myself acutely aware of the negativity building. I challenged my awareness to discover the lesson I can learn and share from what I was witnessing, because at one point crew members failed to communicate effectively with one another and began pointing the blame finger at those of us doing what we were told. Instead of taking responsibility and correcting the problem, certain crew members shed the burden on others. This is when patience wore thin and members began to speak out to prevent further conflict.

Many times, witnessing such events and staying silent is best until circumstances play out further. To maintain a positive stance one must pay attention and not react or overreact. I have seen situations improve simply by watching situations weed themselves out. People who need to move on usually do. The unknown factor makes itself clear with a little time and space. Of course, there is a common sense thread to consider here. When it is time to stand up and be heard and voice something to right a wrong or correct going astray, then one must think about doing so in a considerate, polite and professional manner. There is, after all something to be said for operating with a filter. In this way, everyone benefits. 

Ultimately, the evening came to an end and everyone survived and no one was really hurt or taken advantage of. It takes quite a team of individuals to make an event happen like this one. But that is the thing to remember: it IS a team of INDIVIDUALS. All have their own thoughts, opinions, personalities, experiences and backgrounds for which they bring to the table. How they handle and present themselves is another story.

So when it's cold outside, don't let any bitterness filter through to the inside and stay there. Feel what you're going to feel, process it and move on from it. Make a decision to stay positive anyway. Take care of business in the best way you can. When it’s cold outside, be prepared and keep yourself warm. As they say, cold hands, warm heart. Solution? Get some good gloves and then make it warm hands and warm heart. It beats the alternative, which is to have warm hands a cold heart. 

Stay warm this week.

Cheers!

Yes is Yours!

Yes is Yours!

© By Allen Merritt (2017)

Yes!

Yup!

Indubitably!

See where I am going with this? Last week we explored the word, “No.” This week I want to extrapolate more on the word, “Yes.” 

Oh, YES I do!

“Yes” is a word that sounds so good, doesn't it? You can say it over and over again, it still sounds good. Not only that, it feels good too. And who doesn’t want to feel good!

“Yes” is affirmative, positive and also serves as a mantra for which we can use all the time to build confidence, self-esteem and lift our spirits. It gives us permission and tells us it’s okay. Do you feel that when you hear the word “Yes”? I do!

So let’s talk about "YES", because I don’t think we can talk enough about it.

I believe “Yes” can work for us more than against us. Even in the face of hearing a “No” or experiencing a backlash of negativity, “Yes” aides and comforts us while looking for an amiable solution(s).  

If opposites attract, than “No” invites us to immediately consider the positive.  By doing so, we can consciously choose peace, joy, harmony, love, light and laughter for the whole of our being including our heart, mind, soul, body, spirit and senses. It also impacts the world around us which makes sense when considering the ripple effect or impact of kindness or contagious smiles and laughter. It all promotes the feel good theory for everyone.  

If you are constantly being told you can’t do this and you can’t do that, you start to wonder just what it is you can do and when you CAN do it. What happens if we accept and embrace the idea of possibility a little more? Is it possible we relax and allow and reap more benefits than harm? I would dare say the chances are in our favor more than against us. Again, this takes as much reasoning as considering all those “No’s” we spoke of last week. We cannot just automatically say “Yes” without considering outcomes and timing. There are benefits to both answers that weigh in on both sides of the issue. (I have included a couple of links below discussing these benefits for your perusal)¹&²

Overall, whether the answer truly is based on “No” or “Yes” is determined accordingly by the individual. Which is best? Only you can decide.

Naturally, I am focused on the positive, so in these discussions I am speaking specifically about the negative version of the word “No” versus the positive version of the word “Yes.” But one might reflect on either or. Considering both sides of the story must come into play. In any case, promoting the “Yes” helps us see more and mover closer to the goal, achievement and/or accomplishment any of us are seeking.

Ultimately, the best answers are always based on individual differences. But we cannot be afraid to (again) turn things around and stand on the positive principal. For me, this is reminding yourself from time to time it’s okay to say “Yes”.

Moving forward in life requires it. It gives us authority and opportunity. My thought is this: we can either sit around and let “No” talk us out of our dreams; sit there in our places and never move anywhere; or, we can take a chance and not let anyone tell us we can’t do it/something.

One final story that hits home with me on this topic is how my mother used to say the words, “You can’t…” to me. When she did that I would internalize it and get angry and endeavor to prove her wrong. Ultimately, I may not have been the best at a task, but I could prove to myself I was capable and able despite such comments.

In conclusion, think this week on both sides of the story. If “No serves up a “Yes” for you in some capacity, embrace it. However, if “No” is holding you back from trying to be the best person you can be and conflicts with your desire to achieve, then work on letting that negativity go and seek out positive outcomes instead; no matter what others might think or say. It’s not about them. It’s about you. It’s your life. Therefore it has to include YOU.

If for no other reason, say “Yes” to YOU more often or whenever appropriate.

Have a great week living life on a positive note.

Cheers!

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/the-many-benefits-saying-yes/(Viewed on 2/10/2017)¹

http://justbereal.co.uk/5-benefits-of-saying-no-more-often/(Viewed on 2/10/2017)²

Reverse the NO!

Reverse the NO!

© By Allen Merritt (2017)

What do you think of when you hear the words, "No, no, no!"

Do you stop what you're doing? Do you feel attacked? Do you feel uncertain? 

Let's spend a little time today focusing on the word "No." It’s an important word, which greatly impacts everything we do.

First Thing that comes to my mind are the terrible two's, remember those? 

Children of that age begin to gain more of their identity and not only learn how to say the word, but also the meaning of it. After all, by this age they've been told "No" many times as parents try to protect and teach them how to navigate through life. In this way the negative serves a positive purpose. However, as a result, children begin to use the word as an attention-getter and to make a statement of their wants, turning it around on the parents.

But as we get older, being told "No"  all the times feels like being slapped in the face and is experienced as rejection.  It takes on new meanings such as:

You can't (you’re incapable)
You're not wanted
You don't fit in
You’re not welcomed here

Personally, I have heard "No" so many times I could have made money off it. If I had a nickel for every time I heard it! (You know the saying.)

I remember hearing an interview with an individual where they shared a story on how they learned that "No" was not always the real answer nor should it be when one is trying to make their way in the world.  With that lesson they figured out that maybe the individual saying "No" is not the person to speak with nor do business with. When you think further on it, you realize other people have their own self-serving agenda. If the answer is “No” for them, it does not mean that your idea, your project or potentiality shouldn’t move forward. The possibilities are endless in this world, so look elsewhere for a better fit and better match.

That brings me to another childhood phase called run to mamma, run to papa. Kids learn how to get their way when they ask one parent for permission unsuccessfully and then run to the other parent and gain permission that way (at least until both parents catch on). 

There are many times the word “No” is ineffective and produces zero results. The question then becomes about what the meaning of the word "No" is in any given situation. How does a person move forward if they are constantly being given the boot or caught in a catch 22? Apparently, “No” is NOT always the answer; it’s just the one you are being given because someone decided it should be that way - right or wrong.

How and when does one turn the “No” into a “Yes”? One thing to remember is there are also benefits to the word "No". For example, saying "No"may be helpful toward staying healthy. No to overworking. No to unhealthy eating or any other unhealthy habit. These things should be considered and factored in as well. How does one discern appropriately? 

It seems to me we have to give ourselves permission to step forward and move away from any negative circumstances, which prevent us from growing and becoming. If "No' helps us, then by all means use it effectively. Otherwise, consider its opposite.

When is “Yes” the right answer and/or when is it the right time? Of course, each individual event will vary. I can dream of becoming a master magician, but I cannot honestly say “Yes” to that until I have sufficient training and experience. In other words, I become proficient at the sleight of hand. But I can work on it and eventually turn that “No” around and point it directly at that “Yes.” I guess my thought on this and the idea I desire to convey is this: Turn “No” around and you have the word “On”. If I ponder that for a bit I discover that instead of dwelling on the “No”, I am transforming it to being “On”. In other words, I need to get ON it instead of being enveloped by the NO. When I am ON it, then I can to turn those "No's" into “Yes’s”. 

That means getting and being ON it. Taking initiative and responsibility for a better outcome.

Get ON it! 

Work toward it – whatever it is you are interested in pursuing. Eventually you really can turn it around...YES, you can!

Here's to living another week on a positive note.

Cheers!

Who is There For You?!

Who is There For You?!

© By Allen Merritt (2017)

This week I found myself remembering a question that a date had asked me once many years ago. They simply asked, “Who is there for you?” I found myself taken aback which is the biggest part of the moment that I remember. I suppose the reason was that I wasn’t expecting it. I am not a hundred percent sure I remember the fullness of the conversation, but I would guess it followed a discussion about lacking support systems. Thus, the question, “Who is there for you?”

In promoting positive awareness, it is an important question to ponder and so I thought this would be as good a time as any to open the discussion.

Who is there for you in your life is a profound question. It forces us to consider who in our life really is there for us. It supposes other questions such as:

Do they support who I am?

Do they accept me as I am?

Do they support what I do?

These are just a few that come to mind. Beyond the idea that we have folks in our lives who love, care and support us like family and close friends, I think the question goes a step further when we consider what kinds of people we actually surround ourselves with. Sometimes we are in circumstances and/or environments such as work or public places where toxic people avail themselves and try to suck the life right out of us.

So the question about who is there for us also becomes about what kinds of people should be there for us and who should we be surrounding ourselves with. Heaven knows there are plenty of people who are either not good for us or are bad influences.

I ran across a great article illustrating a few types of people most of us would prefer not to be around. It is titled, “8 Types of Toxic People Who Poison Your Life.”¹ The article suggests people who are critical, negative, time wasters, jealous, indifferent, self-centered, irresponsible or habitually disappointing are ones to avoid. I think the word “Toxic” really makes an obvious statement toward the idea of eliminating the negative.

It’s a shame that some people need to be excluded from our lives, but as a matter of self preservation and for the betterment of everyone’s well being, it is imperative to do so.

Moreover, people who are vindictive, manipulative, controlling, or whining are attempting to garner attention for the sole purpose of building up their personal self esteem at the expense of everyone else. But here is the thing: we’re all in this boat together. Support systems are called support systems because they are there to encourage, nurture and promote positive well being and not the vice versa. When there are folks who are at a different place in the life and therefore take it all out on you, as they say, then the question really ought to be asked about whether or not this person is playing fair and are healthy for us. I guess it takes a conscious effort to weed out negativity when you see it happening. It also takes as much effort to look deeply into these relationships to be sure there is not something else going on that can be addressed so that healing happens. If we do not always know the full scope of what is going on with another person we may be discarding people needlessly from our day to day living. Therefore, getting to the root of the problem will begin the process of assessment on discovering who is truly there for you.

Seems obvious, but if we do not take a moment to think about it we can get drawn into the drama.

This week I want to challenge people to ask themselves the question of “Who is there for you?” If the answers do not come quickly to you or cause you to question further, then you may be on your way to a new discovery about the people surrounding you. Either way, I think it is something to consider from time to time, especially as we are always running into new people, making new friends and establishing new relationships. But are they really there for us is the question!

I hope the answer is a positive one.

Have a great week.

Cheers!

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/8-types-toxic-people-poison-life/ (Viewed on 1/21/2017)¹

Are You Happy?!

Are You Happy?!

© By Allen Merritt (2017)

This thought came to mind today: Are you happy?

Don’t ask me where it came from. Half the time things come to me out of nowhere or so it seems. Maybe that is the magic of creativity or part of the introspective process of awareness and spirituality. Most likely it is a bit of everything. When I have ideas and thoughts I usually refer to them as projectiles which fly out of me like a demon. They just appear. Anyway, it seems a reasonable question to come around and ask yourself from time to time. Living creatively and staying positive amidst life’s circus of events takes a great deal of effort and remains a constant challenge. Stopping for a moment and checking in with yourself seems appropriate.

I seem to remember my mother asking that question from time to time. I guess it was her way of assessing where people’s heads were at, where a relationship might be going and much more. When I think about it, it is not a question I hear very often. Not many people seem to be asking that question of themselves or of others. I guess that makes sense in a bizarre sort of way when you consider that most people do not really want to know how other people are (unless they are in the well-being/healthcare world).

In fact, as I think on it further, I remember having a conversation recently with someone (I think from the Philippines) about the cultural differences between East and West when it comes to asking someone how they are doing. In their culture it was expected that if you asked that question you were going to get the answer. It was assumed that you really wanted to know. However, in the West (our country at least) when you ask people questions like, “How are you?” or “How are you doing?” it is done so out of courteous expectation and not because people want to know. They usually do not want to hear it nor feel like they have time to waste on learning more about you in that way. Thus, the reply is often just as erroneous as the question. “Fine, thank you.” Any other response is shrugged off and the subject is changed. I would dare say that people think it is rude if you actually try to answer truthfully. “I ain’t got time for dat!”

In a society such as our which seems to prey on and profit from demeaning, belittling, ignoring and degrading others for the sake of self promotion and self indulgence, it makes sense to check in with ones self by asking every so often, “Are you happy?” In other words, "How are you doing?"

By doing so, you give yourself a chance to tune into your truth, your feelings, where you think you’re at in perspectives and more. The question helps keep us grounded and rooted in what really matters thus keeping the idea of positivity alive. Why? Because life is too short as everyone keeps reminding us.

So, if life is really that short even on days that drag on and make it seem so very long, then why not ask this one very important question? Why waste a moment on anything which fails to promote your personal well being and steals away your peace and joy? Find your happiness and pursue it as the constitution of this country says you can. Take time to make time to reflect on all that works in your best interest and how to remain steadfast in those arms while helping others do the same.

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

If you’re happy and you know it, then your life will surely show it.

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.

Are you happy?

May your week be filled with as much happiness as you can muster. And I hope you like mustard!

Cheers!