Open Ears, I Listen!

Open Ears, I Listen!

By Allen Merritt ©2018

I saw a sign the other day which read, “Open Ears, I Listen.”

I think it was an advertisement whereby a person was providing their listening services to those in need. In other words, if you needed someone to talk to because you didn’t have anyone else to talk to about the situation, they were there to help fulfill that need.

I began to think on how listening is a huge component to communication, but also on how the art of listening effectively is not passive. It is active and attentive. What you attend to IS what you are paying attention to. There is a sense of focus and concentration when one is listening carefully and consciously.

A lot of positivity is gained when one observes, notices, pays attention and actually hears what is being said, whether it is garnering wisdom, a sense of peace and calm, providing a bit of healing to another or in learning new visions and perspectives.

So many people selectively hear whatever it is they want to hear these days. Or, they feign listening when they actually are looking elsewhere and/or are engaged in something else such as social media, television or caught up in another activity. Failing to hear someone can be a downfall to any relationship building.

Have you ever noticed how upset people get when they feel no one is listening or paying attention to them? The situation rapidly turns negative. It may even lead to a person giving up altogether. No one appreciates feeling as if they are only seen and not heard. Every living human being wants to be treated with respect and as if they are alive and a part of something. Keeping this in mind, I wanted to touch on how listening is a form of recognition of other individuals. It purports they are there and they exist.

Otherwise, a person might feel ignored, played down to and treated as insignificant, as well as unrecognized or even unwanted; all negative ideals.

What are the true benefits to listening carefully, consciously and compassionately?

Well, we might learn something about ourselves or another. It’s possible to learn a little about a topic we never encountered before. There is the healing component when individual’s need to share thoughts, feelings and require help in letting go of a hurtful situation. Then there is the growth element whereby we get a little closer to another human being, we get to know each other better and find common ground and understanding with each other. Of course, there is the education side. To listen is to learn and move forward in life. I mean, think about it. If you go to a college class, you have to listen to the lecture and take effective notes to pass the class. It is by paying attention you work toward landing that degree and enhancing your opportunities in life. It makes complete sense to me how listening requires us to open our ears, as well as our minds and hearts.

Often times it leads to good things! And that is what positivity is all about.

How do you know you are listening effectively? Consider a few of the following ideas.

• Maintaining eye contact, but not starring.
• Using subtle physical acknowledgements such as smiling, nodding your head or slight verbalizations.
• Never interrupting the other person.
• Remaining calm, cool and collected.
• Trying not to fidget or look off at other things during the engagement.

Furthermore, what is good for the goose is good for the gander, as they say. This means, if you want to be heard and others to listen to you, then you should provide the same courtesy in return. There is a healthy give and take in this department when all parties collectively work together in this way.

If we want positive enlightenment, we ought to think candidly on the idea of opening our ears and listening. That includes listening to ourselves, our intuition and still small voices. Trust your gut, pay attention and listen for better outcomes.

May we all operate by the concept of “Open Ears, I Listen!”

Have a great week listening and being heard.

Cheers!

When in Doubt, Go Higher!

When in Doubt, Go Higher!

By Allen Merritt ©2018

The other day I was on my way to somewhere and spotted a Jeep with a bumper sticker that read, “When in Doubt, Go Higher!” Naturally, it grabbed my attention. I began to think on how magnificent a statement it was and how it can be best utilized as a reminder to reach for the best.

In thinking further on the phrase, I remember a moment when former first lady Michelle Obama made a similar statement, “When they go low, we go high!” Her statement hit close to home as it pertains to battling negativity. It isn’t always good to fight fire with fire. More often than not it serves us best to be thoughtful and considerate in word and deed. An eye for an eye mentality doesn’t do anything but cause more harm. If we can remember this and stay calm, cool and collected despite it all, then a better outcome lies ahead in most cases.

This is the perfect time to generate those positive vibes. In fact, every day we are gifted is an opportunity to create positive energy out of whatever we are given. Hey, if it makes us smile, it can’t be all that bad, right?

Rising above our circumstances is not the same as putting ourselves or others up on pedestals. It is not saying we are “Holier than Thou!” It only means we are choosing never to allow negative circumstances, bad days and nasty attitudes to control or get the best of us. We choose to feed good and goodness back into the system for all to benefit.

I love thinking about good and goodness toward improving situations while making life better for everyone. There's no better positive approach than to keep your mind focused in that direction. And this bumper sticker reminded me to keep moving forward in just that way.

There are many ways for which we can rise above the negatives.

We can be kind, enthusiastic, generous, forgiving, accepting, and calm, look for the good, communicate with a sense of love, listen, be more helpful, offer compassion and be less judgmental among many other things.¹

Now, many times I discuss negativity as if it was outside of ourselves, but we also generate negativity all on our own, stemming from within. When we create our own negative circumstances it is best to recognize it, be aware and own up to it and/or address it. Building our self-confidence is one way to reinforce positive thought and behavior.²

Another way to rise above or go higher is to get the word out there. Send a positive message. It not only helps you, but someone else. I like to do this through my social media, which many might say is a hot bed of negativity, bullying and nothing more than a strike zone for people to vent or say anything without consequence. While I might comment on a negative situation in my own way, most of the time I try to share the good word. I will post a positive message, quote or thought. If someone reads it, likes it or shares it, then my positive message was helpful in some way. It may not meet the masses, but it is still worth effort.

Ever hear someone speak of the Phoenix Rising? It comes from Greek Mythology. It speaks about a bird recycling its own life. It speaks to second chances. To me, it means we can always rise above our circumstances and situations. It articulates how we are able to choose our response and/or reaction in any given case. The question is, “Are we choosing to remain positive or opting to dwell in the negative?”

In the end, wanting to be healthier and live joyously for the benefit of our well being seems to mean more than any other option.

So when in doubt, go higher!

Generate those positive vibes and share them with the world.

Enjoy living on a positive note this week.

Cheers!

http://theboldlife.com/2011/04/20-tips-rise-negativity-live-light/ (Viewed on 8/23/2018)¹

https://leadershipfreak.blog/2011/07/06/six-positive-ways-to-rise-above-negativity/ (Viewed on 8/23/2018)²

Creating Positivity is a Choice!

Creating Positivity is a Choice!

By Allen Merritt ©2018

When was the last time you did something that made you feel really good?

Not long ago, I found myself thinking about this.

I bet some folks will remember several moments while others would say they couldn’t remember.

If we are responsible for creating our lives, our own happiness and making the most out of each instant by bringing joy to the table, then it makes sense to concentrate on bringing those feel good moments to life whenever we can. The key is in knowing and accepting it as a possibility, as well as taking initiative.

We choose our outlook. We choose our perspective.

We are able to create our own positivity and the best place to start this is by starting!

Take a step forward. Open a door. Crack the window. Call it whatever you like, but begin your creation. Accomplish a small goal and work your way up to another one. In doing so, check in with yourself and see if you do not find a sense of appreciation for what you’ve accomplished and also feel better about yourself and your ability to achieve a positive result.

For example, if you want to write a book, start with developing an idea, taking notes and writing a little here and there. Before you know it you will have a couple pages and then a couple more. That is how I began writing my positivity blog. I made a decision to write one a week. After a year I had a little over 52 blogs posted. When I looked back on it, I really felt good about having done that. I accomplished something and it was a positive step forward. It created a positive energy I could continue to tap into.

The final result is a learning experience and greater faith in yourself; in finalizing a project and reaching a goal. Nothing has to be perfect nor does it have to throw loads of cash at you. Success is not defined by money and/or fame. It is the ability to take your ideas and work with them, express them and turn them into something whether it be good, bad or ugly. The point is to make effort.

Currently, I am in the process of taking some research I’ve done and creating a one man play based on it. I have gone so far as to compile the notes and information, write the story, edit it, edit it again, cut out pieces I can live without to meet the time restrictions given me, got the costume and props together, learned the lines and am trying to get it up on its feet to present in a week and a half at a fringe festival in front of a live audience. It will be the first time I have performed it.

It makes me feel good and I experience more positive energy encircling me as I move forward with each step. It takes a little work. But putting my creativity out there, giving it a go and sharing it with others is bound to make me feel greater about myself and my life in the end. I look forward and am excited to test the waters. And when it is finished, I will have accomplished something. I may take it to the next level. I may work on a different project. In any case, I will experience more positivity because I created it on my own.

I believe, everyone has the capability of doing this.

Creating your positive happy space is not limited to large projects. Our happiness and outlook may be as simple as showing appreciation for something every hour of the day. It may be in our effort to share a compliment once a day to support others. Our ability to increase our positive mental status is abundant and happens in many ways. Find something you want and/or are passionate about and focus on creating it every day and it will grow.

The great thing about growing your positivity garden, so to speak, is that you are not the only one who benefits. And in the end, when you remember, think back on it, you will smile and know that all is good. Plus, positivity becomes second nature and automatic. You can handle anything and do so calmly, coolly and collectively.

Have a wonderful week feeling your best by attending to all that is positive and good.

Create those positive vibes and manufacture positivity!

Turn that lemon into lemonade!

It is our decision and our choice to do so…for the benefit of ourselves and the whole.

Cheers!

Nostalgia: Snapshots of the Past!

Nostalgia: Snapshots of the Past!

By Allen Merritt ©2018

Everyone is fascinated with taking photos…of everything. “Selfies” continue to dominate our picture taking. No doubt, the next level down from a “selfie” is capturing our food and drinks in a restaurant followed by persons, places and things we come across in our daily adventures.  This is the epitome of nostalgia.

The result is: Positivity is alive and well.

One can see it in past endeavors and experiences such as thinking back on memorable events (established and created memories), past photographs, music, saved cards and letters and old videos. It is also found in our closets and treasure chests filled with clothes we used to wear and keepsakes we have since stored away for just the right moment to accidentally on purpose stumble upon. All of which may bring a smile to our face. It is like opening a time capsule. This is a good thing. It's fun!

Getting nostalgic is one way to describe this. We re-visit the past not to live in it, but to be enhanced and enriched by it; to re-connect with ourselves and others in some way. There is a reason why memorabilia is so valuable to us.

The past comes alive again when we run across someone we used to interact with after many years or when we go through our rolodex and are drawn to give someone a call for which we have had little to no contact with in ages…a blast from the past moment. I find it fun to check in on people from time to time. This fills my soul with a sense of gladness and appreciation both of which lead to creating positive energy and space in the world. After all, people come into our life for a reason even if it is only for a season!

I was thinking how wonderful it is to get nostalgic. I feel benefitted by it in many ways. Additionally, I believe it is the root system which continues to be watered by our everyday journey through life, loving and learning.

Without nostalgic trinkets we would never know anything about what lies ahead or how to move forward, because we would have no reference for which to go by. In other words, we’d be faced entirely with nothing but unknowns. And while the future is unknown, we at least have some experience to guide us by looking into our past and remembering aspects of it passed down by those who came before. Nostalgia means standing on the shoulders of giants! If nothing else, it reminds us we have the ability to push through to the next chapter despite any uncertainties and unknowns.

An article in Scientific American discusses nostalgia as it relates to feeling more vital, serving a positive function in our lives to help improve mood and mental health. It speaks to it as…, “a psychological immune response that is triggered when you experience little bumps in the road.” ¹

We want to feel good. We want to feel that positive energy flow through our body.

The Huffington Post describes nostalgia as, “far from being a feeble escape from the present,” but rather “a source of strength, enabling the individual to face the future.” It helps encourage a sense of calm, counters anything negative and encourages well-being. The H.P. article also proposes the following as it relates to nostalgia. It “strengthens approach orientation, raises optimism, evokes inspiration, boosts creativity and kindles pro-sociality and compassion.”²

Now, this conversation can’t ignore our past negative memories. Every person certainly has their fair share of experiences, but even those teach us to grow. They remind us what we don’t want. Teach us what not to do. Some of the past we learn to let go of so it does not hold us back. They elicit responses not to repeat mistakes. More importantly, I think it aides in promoting a better tomorrow.

In short, positivity lives in our past, present and future. We just have to tap into it more often to reap its benefits. 

Take a look into your memory banks, scrapbooks and photo albums and see if it doesn’t give you a good feeling and stir up some positivity for you!

So go ahead and take the selfie! Make some memories!

Have a fun week!

Cheers!

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-nostalgia-is-good-for-you/ (Viewed on 8/13/2018)¹

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-nostalgia-makes-us-happy-and-healthy_us_5859bda4e4b04d7df167cb8d (Viewed on 8/13/2018)²

If It’s Meant to Be, It’ll Be, so Just Let it Be!

If It’s Meant to Be, It’ll Be, so Just Let it Be!

By Allen Merritt ©2018

I’ve been hearing this song on the radio for a little while now and my ear is always drawn to it. It’s an uplifting song. The chorus begins with, “If, it’s meant to be, it’ll be, so baby just let it be…”

I feel it a positive message applicable to every aspect of our lives.

Letting things go and allowing things to simply be isn’t a new message, but there is always a discussion on what it takes to get there and what are the means to do so.

Sometimes I purposefully go with the flow just to see what will happen. For example, On Monday I made a trip in Los Angeles to run errands, attend a class and do whatever. I had four names on my list I could call and see if they were available to hang out. I decided not to call anyone until all my errands were done. I made the first call and got a voice mail. I made the second call and they picked up, but they were out and about with someone else. The third call also went to voice mail and the fourth call I made asked if they could call me back in an hour, which never happened.

For me, it was kind of nice to put it out there and see if anything would come about. I was perfectly okay with whatever would happen. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be, so just let it be, so I headed toward the beach thinking I would enjoy that. A few hours later the first call I made returned and was free to visit for a little bit. As it turned out I was only a couple miles away, so it worked out really well. That’s the way it works out sometimes if we are open to the universal possibilities.

My spirit was happy and positively enlightened to make at least one connection on my visit.

Positive outcomes are enriched by our ability to accept, embrace and allow ourselves the chance to enter into the possibilities as they arise. Not everything we do in life needs to be planned out or scheduled to the enth degree. Spontaneity brings happy little surprises creating long lasting memories.

I looked up “meant to be” on line using Wikitionary and the result was, “destined to exist.” Wow. That has a lot of spirit and connotation wrapped up in it if you think about it. No amount of negativity can shut that concept down, because it refers to the idea of it’s supposed to happen. In other words, that which is meant to happen cannot be deterred from happening, no matter what. How positive a thought is that! It’s pretty cool, if you ask me.

Ultimately, we should remain open to all possibilities, allow ourselves to be more spontaneous in following them. Be still and know everything is okay because if it is supposed to be, it will be.

It’s something to think about.

Plus, it easily rolls off your tongue. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be, so just let it be. And when you do, you are more peaceful and content and appreciative for all that is.

Enjoy your week going with the flow and living life on a positive note.

Cheers!