Fish Outta Water!

Fish Outta Water!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Recently, I noticed a billboard which read, “Be a Big Fish. Be Somebody!”

I immediately thought of choosing between being a little fish in a big pond or a big fish in a small pond. You know, finding that place where you feel most comfortable and fitting in. It brings to question whether to walk the lines of conventional-ism or not; AND, whether to take leaps of faith/risks for stepping outside that comfort zone. When you think about it, it comes down to an individual choice or preference. It could go either way.

Actually, there are a couple of terms for these ideas. One is called the big-fish-little-pond effect¹ where an individual feels most at home with their self-concept in a low-to-medium ability category. In other words, they feel more revered and driven in smaller environments where they stand a better chance to excel.

The reverse concept is the reflected glory effect¹, where someone is driven to reach higher by the challenge of the situation (i.e. intellectual stimulation).

Do you want to be a big fish in a small pond where everyone knows your name OR do you want to be a small fish in a big pond working toward the possibility of everyone knowing your name without any guarantees?

In a world where so many are striving for success, it makes sense to question what that means, how it is defined, where one is most comfortable and how an individual achieves assurance that they are growing, learning and taking steps up the ladder. After all, we all want to feel we are moving forward in life. So where are the clues? Where are our support systems? How long do we keep trying? When do we cut our losses and make new decisions? The list of questions goes on and on.

I am incredibly familiar with these concepts. As a creative and performing artist, validation and worth are not readily available. If you do not discover that within-side yourself, you’re likely never to find it. You most likely feel like a fish-out-of-water more often than not.

You always question things:

•  Never knowing if you’re any good at what you do.
•  Never sure if you’re making good choices.
•  Not sure if you’re getting anywhere.
• Don’t know what to do next.

      Ultimately, the philosophical question of the day is, “Is it better to be a big fish in a little pond or vice verse?”

Sometimes it means keeping yourself oriented toward the positive and allow opportunities or challenges to come and go without judgment. Human beings are always able to learn and grow if they open themselves up to the prospects.  Quite possibly, it helps if we find a balance between the two. Work toward becoming a bigger fish in the big pond while keeping yourself grounded enough in that someplace called ‘home’ (smaller pond), which may be keeping up with and accepting, valuing and finding worth in your accomplishments; even in those times when it feels like you are only treading water. Thinking in those terms you can reflect on just how far you've come by being reminded of where you have been.

I guess, in some way, when you leave the small pond for bigger waters, you ARE like a fish-out-of-water, but that does not mean you become anything less as a result.

At the end of the day, where you place yourself matters more than what others want or expect you to be.

Step out of that negativity. Make your own choices and be something.

If you want to be a big fish in a small pond, there is nothing wrong with that. There is room and need for that kind of mentality. 

If you want to aim for the sky and work in a bigger pond as a smaller part of the whole, go for it.

Challenges are everywhere you go. The work still has to be done. Think positively in every situation. Look for the good and be the best you can be in that moment and place. By doing so, you stand a better chance of being right at home exactly where you.

Besides, if you are a fish-out-of-water, it may mean you are achieving success. If so, don’t fight it. Embrace it. Why should you fit in when you were born to stand out, right?

Cheers!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big-fish%E2%80%93little-pond_effect¹ (Viewed on 2/26/2015)

Stressed Turn-About!

Stressed Turn-About!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t experienced stress.  Sometimes when I am in the thick of it I don’t even realize I am stressed. I just keep plugging along at whatever task I have before me. Later I feel my body tighten up (especially in my shoulders) and feel the need to relax with a glass of vino, a hot shower or hot tub.

Sometimes stress just creeps up on us without letting us know. We're so caught up in everything we don't see it coming. Other times we feel it and know it BIG TIME!

According to Wikepedia¹, stress is our body’s way of reacting to a challenge. Sometimes stress can be good, but often it is viewed as bad. For example, when trying to build up your body at the gym, increasing weights (a form of stress) will eventually increase muscle. But this takes time and is done in small increments.  When stress is related more to the cognitive and emotional, it can lead to negative outcomes. And, nobody really wants that, do they?

One of the things I like to fall into is finding ways to turn things around. When I find a way to do just that, I often smile or laugh and generally feel better about something. That’s why I like to write about positive methodologies and outcomes.

Needless-to-say, one of my common answers for discussing the idea of being “stressed” out is to turn it around. If you are a person with a sweet tooth and love desserts, then you will appreciate this.

I love a little sweetness in my life. Not too much. In fact, when I order my iced mocha at the coffee shop I always ask them to reduce the chocolate by two-thirds the amount. Instead of six pumps I get two pumps. Otherwise, it is too sweet. You know what they say about getting too much of a good thing!

Anyway, I enjoy desserts of all sorts: ice cream, yogurt, pie, moist cakes, pastries, cobblers and other fine delectable treats. The reason I point this out is not to go hog wild crazy on consuming too many sweets. (After all, there is a limit in order to stay healthy.) And, I am not suggesting that every time a person feels stressed they gobble down a gallon of sugary sweet goo. In fact, I am not suggesting that eating sweets is the answer to relieving stress at all!

What am I saying?

I am saying to turn it around. Think of the situation in a new light, a positive one, of course! Then you will begin to find relief with whatever is stressing you out.

For me, I can begin to smile a little when I feel stressed, because I literally take the word “stressed” and turn it around and think of something I like which are “desserts.”

You see what I did there?

Turn around the word “Stressed” and it automatically becomes “Desserts.”

Now, isn’t that sweet!

It’s a start. We all need something to help us stop, look, listen, breathe, become more aware and look at a larger more objective picture. Therein lies the possibility of a solution even if it is a temporary solution.  Moreover, it is an opportunity to chill and not allow those stressors get the best of us. Give yourself a little bit of a break from it all before “it” begins to break you.

Have you ever heard the saying, “You are too blessed to be stressed”?  Well, maybe we are too blessed to be stressed. But, if by chance you are stressed, remember to turn it around and have some just desserts. Do something sweet for yourself.

In conclusion, when you feel stressed think of your favorite desserts!

In other words, take a moment for yourself.  You deserve it! We all do.

Cheers!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stress_%28biology%29¹

360°!

360°!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

I am not sure where I am going with this, but here we go.

I was having a conversation with an old friend the other day, taking a trip down memory lane. Years ago both of us lived in Manhattan. I remembered my old address. It was at the corner of 96^th Street and Central Park West. More specifically, it was 360 Central Park West. The park was literally across the street. I loved being able to walk out the front door, cross the street and dive into the serenity of historical Central Park. Good times!

Anyway, fast forward to today. I was describing my current residence to my friend. Its location was across from what I referred to as my southwestern Central Park. Interestingly, the address begins with 360. I thought it an interesting coincidence when he mentioned the idea of coming full circle 360 degrees. I never thought of it that way, albeit, I had noticed the similarities in addresses.

To add more fuel to the fire, so to speak, it dawned on me that I have a dear friend whose California address begins with the same number: 360. Coincidence? I don’t know, but it certainly got me to thinking about the number and how it has popped up multiple times in my life without me realizing it.

What is the first thing you think of when you think of 360 degrees?

Full Circle

Coming back around

What goes around comes around

Full circle is an adverb representing the idea of returning back to the starting point, position or original source.¹ Coming back around also refers to completing something and in its own way offers a chance to begin anew or move forward. At least, that is what I am thinking.

Then there is the idea of ‘karma.’ What goes around comes around and the Golden Rule of doing unto others what you would have them do unto to you, which seems to go hand in hand with growth, healing and moving on. Not to mention the many lessons learned. I like challenges, learning new things, getting past those moments we think we cannot get past. But I don’t want to root myself so deeply into something I cannot find my way out or can’t breathe. I don’t want to feel hopeless. I want to feel hopeful.

Recently, another friend moved back to his home town. Evidently, this happens to many people. I guess, the whole of our lives throw us all over the place forcing us to face the good, bad and ugly before showing us what really matters. Coming home is another way of coming back full circle.

Life is interesting.  Just when you are not certain of where you are going or what is going on, life has a way of throwing a positive spin on you that makes you stop and think. You realize that something greater than yourself is directing your way and leading you down pathways never before considered. The universe is looking out for you. There is some comfort in that…for us all.

For me, having all these similar addresses keep popping up throughout my history is evidence to these ideas of coming back full circles, cycles of completion, karma, coming home and a reminder of how life goes on if we let it. The past is valuable to our future. Without it we have nothing to consider. At the same time living in that past keeps us cemented without hope of anything new to consider.

I still don’t know where I was going with this.

Have I come back to where I started? I guess I have!

Life just keeps coming back round.

Got to love that!

Cheers!

¹http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/full%20circle (Viewed 2-11-2015)

Implosion: Boom!

Implosion: Boom!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Recently, I had the privilege and opportunity to watch an implosion of a building in Las Vegas. I practically had a front row seat and set up a video camera to capture the quick 5-10 seconds of demolition. I had not witnessed anything like it before. It was exciting for me. I waited outside on the balcony for about an hour and fifteen minutes before the event finally took place. Safety was a big factor. Roads were shut down, viewing areas designated and wind conditions monitored. This took place close to 3:00 am on a Tuesday morning.

When the moment finally arrived it came without warning, but luckily all cameras were recording. It sounded like a string of firecrackers going off and then the walls came a tumbling down and billowing clouds of dust rolled toward me. I could feel the rumble of it all vibrating up from my feet. As quick as it began it was over. And, as the clouds rolled away, one lone Leaning Tower of Pisa still stood (the elevator shaft). Something went wrong and it did not fall. It was considered a failure. Now the crew had to find a way to successfully achieve positive results with dismantling this lurking (unsafe) structure.

Herein lies the chance to notice how a “negative” standing there in all its former glory high above the rubble like a sore thumb allows us a chance to find away to explore solutions. It got me thinking about how I push for positive results every day (some days better than others). Just when you think you’re on the right track and everything is in place you discover a piece of the puzzle needs attention.  

I remember as a kid I kept to myself, because I was shy and a loner type. I didn’t enjoy confrontation and wasn't interested in stirring up trouble. That’s the way I saw things. I wasn’t encouraged to have a voice or speak my mind. “You are to be seen and not heard,” was a phrase I heard repeatedly. Unfortunately, when this happens you tend to keep things bottled up inside and then guess what happens? Yep, you eventually, without warning, implode. Everything inside comes screaming out and usually not at an opportune time. This cannot be healthy. It happens, because no matter how much people try to control and entrain you to their way of thinking or their expectations there comes a moment when even the best of us get pushed over the edge. This is why everyone must talk their way through things as they happen, open up and communicate respectfully. When a person is egged on and on and on there is a negative impact.

I have imploded a time or two and I always feel awful afterwards. However, taking a positive spin on a situation and realizing that things are not always as they appear to be, communicating respectfully and taking initiative to respond as opposed to reacting sheds light and infuses better energy into a situation to bring things into positive perspective.

Consider the following:

•  If something bothers you, find a way to speak up and respectfully discuss it as a concern.
• Evaluate the situation and be sure you understand what is going on before reacting.
• Take a time out and come back to the situation if needed.
• Do not let it eat away at you! If you find yourself half awake most of the night, something is wrong and it deserves attention, so address it appropriately at the next available opportunity.
• Do not go on the defense and attack.

I am sure there is a lot more that can be said about such a hot topic, but for now I will leave it there….On a Positive Note. And, in case you were wondering, the rest of the elevator shaft came down without issue.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJjfZaYaAHM&list=UUslOlQ2kgwrLca4fXqGdv4Q

Cheers