Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Garbage In, Garbage Out!

Garbage In, Garbage Out!
©Allen Merritt (2015)

How many times did you hear the phrase, “Take out the trash” while growing up?

This was one of those chores many kids didn’t appreciate and/or didn’t want to do and understandably so, because it wasn’t fun. Neither were the other things we learned as children such as cleaning our rooms or clearing out old clothes and toys stuffed deep into our closets, all of  which we out grew and were only taking up space.

Part of reaching a positive place in mind, body, soul and spirit, as well as maintaining a happy-go-lucky attitude despite it all is in getting rid of all our garbage. Some might refer to it as excess baggage. Either way, we always find ourselves in the middle of a purge at some time or other. Individually, we all must do our share of the work. If the garbage comes in, then eventually it must go out.

I remember George Carlin performing a comedy routine based on collecting “stuff.” For some reason, with all the marketing and campaigning to get us to buy things, fill our houses to overflowing and being told what we need and do not need, we end up never finding that happy place. Consider how hoarders never have enough stuff and consequently are never satisfied to the point of addiction and unstable mental well-being. Of course, I am not just referring to our ability to fill our lives up with physical and material goods. I am also referring to the psychological nonsense we seem to hold onto. People get to us. People say things. Life doesn’t happen the way we thought or think it will. We get mad and hold grudges, etcetera and so on.

Think about it. 

How did you feel once you finished a purge or a good cleaning? Less cluttered? At ease? More relaxed? If we think of our happiness and peace of mind in the same way we think of taking out the garbage, we just might be able to consider the good in getting rid of those things that bother us and/or hold us back.

I like to think of it this way:  I love a clean floor. I don’t necessarily care for the work it takes to clean it, but boy does it feel good on my bare feet after I do it. It brings a smile to my face and I feel happier as a result.

As we approach a new year, let’s meditate on this idea of garbage in, garbage out. 

Some people use the philosophy ‘if you haven’t worn or used it in over a year, pitch it.’ Here are some thoughts: How about making money with your garbage by holding a garage or yard sale? What will happen if you clear out some things and create some extra space? What would that be like? 

We purge all the time. It’s like a snake shedding its skin every so often. He’s got to do it. We spring clean; we donate to charity and fill those trash cans to the brim for the next time they come to pick up the garbage. Every once in a while when we stumble over all our stuff either physically or psychologically we are reminded of the importance of purging.

There’s nothing like feeling less trashy! Less of a burden produces a spring in your step!

Have some fun today in thinking about all the purging you have already done and which you may need to do by watching this fun clip by George Carlin about “stuff.”


After watching the video, think about what kind of garbage, trash, excess baggage or stuff it is that you need to clear out of your house and head as the New Year approaches us. Contemplate how much better you will feel clearing out and cleaning up things you no longer have use for.

Now, that covers a lot of territory and may even include more than things, but also persons and places. In any case, taking out the garbage may not be so bad after all. Make room for more good in your life and surround yourself with those that love and care for you. Otherwise, garbage in, garbage out!

Cheers and Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Tell Me Something Good!

Tell Me Something Good!
©Allen Merritt (2015)

Earlier this year I referenced a radio show which has a great little segment titled ‘Tell Me Something Good!” I think it’s only a minute long, but it packs a punch to start your day on a positive note. The three hosts share a current story that each of them have found and for which highlights only good news. It doesn’t take much to enlighten a moment, but it does take something. And, I appreciate the shows efforts to reach out and influence their audience with some good news and positive energy.

Why is that important? 

Because it is helpful to everyone and it works to create a win-win environment.

Tell me something good!
Tell me how to improve.
Tell me how to make it better.

I know there are individuals out there who look for the bad in everything. They purposefully cut others down to size by belittling, degrading and making negative comments. Misery loves company, as they say. Other people don’t even know they are doing this. It just comes naturally to them, which leads me to believe that it takes real effort to hone in on the positive. Moreover, it takes continued persistence and perseverance to sustain that energy and remain there. I guess, no one ever said it would be easy!

But it also occurs to me that some individuals make it harder than necessary to stay positive. You know, the one bad apple in the batch ruins it for all the other apples theory? On a personal more, I have been known to actually say to someone after a negative confrontation, “Was that response really necessary?” Maybe that is a bit sarcastic, but often I want people to know I am easier to communicate with than that. I think there are many people who are not near as complicated or complex in their make up as some might think. It’s just that others make them seem complex. Therefore, it makes sense to say, “Wait a minute!” and stop, take a look at the situation, listen, consider and response with appropriate communications. That communication should convey an interest of reaching a solution or understanding that behooves and benefits all parties involved. In other words, it demonstrates making an effort to see the good in something, especially after considering we may not know the full scope of a situation or what a person is going through. Things are not always as they appear to be, which makes it difficult from time to time to ever understand what is going on in any given situation.

In any case, it is refreshing to know there are some programs out there deliberately looking for the good in our lives; all the more reason to share the idea with you today. Of course, during the course of the past year, I have made many references and suggestions to seek out the good and positive via stories, anecdotes, humor, challenges and exercises. With this in mind, I listened to the show again this morning and it struck me to put this notion out there one more time. If you haven’t been in the habit of searching for the good, then do so now!

Consider the following:
  • Good news generates more smiles and increases endorphin's. (I have no doubt.)
  • Good news encourages us.
  • Good news inspires and motivates us.
  • Good news relaxes us and helps us through the rest of the day.
  • Good news helps us appreciate life more.
  • Good news calms and comforts.
  • Good news helps us all in our pursuit of happiness!
In contemplating all of the above, I want to make this week a celebration of all the good out there and officially make the request for all to reach out and find it. By doing so, we just might be able to touch each other more profoundly, in a positive way and see life through new lenses.

Isn’t that enough to suggest that life is worthwhile?

Cheers and Happy Holidays! 






Wednesday, December 16, 2015

You Dodo Bird!

You Dodo Bird!
©Allen Merritt (2015)

While watching a movie yesterday I heard something I had not heard in a long time; the phrase “dodo bird.” It got me to thinking. My mother used to call me a Dodo bird from time to time. As a child, I never knew what that meant. She also frequently used the word “poosty” telling me I would understand one day.

To clarify and put this into context, let’s take a look at the meaning of these two terms.

A Dodo bird is a special breed of feathered friends that could never fly. It is known as the flightless bird and is now extinct. I discovered the word “dodo” refers to the idea of a dull-witted, slow-reacting person.¹ In a word: stupid or dumb. Kids might even use the term retard.
According to urbandictionary.com, dodo bird refers to a living creature with very noticeably low intelligence. Interestingly, the dodo bird lived in complete isolation and had nothing to fear. ²

“Poosty” is another story. For a long time I thought the word “poosty” was a term of endearment. Unfortunately, it has negative connotation meaning stuck up or snobby and in some cases is a derogative word used to describe a homosexual. You might as well call it a curse word. Whether or not these words were intentionally used to hurt or not isn’t the point of this discussion. Sometimes we aren’t attempting to be deliberately hurtful; but, sometimes we are!

As a child, sometimes ignorance and naiveté serve to protect the innocent from hurtful phraseology. However, as we grow older this wears off and pricks at out emotional bloodstream. Thus, the old adage sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me becomes a defense mechanism that seldom works. I will never truly understand why my mother used these words on me, but looking back I understand how detrimental it is to use negativity toward a child. It has a profound impact and most children do not nor will ever understand. They grow up with a complex built around such negativity. I had to learn about this first hand in order to gain a stronghold on it and rise above such antics. I realize I was subjected to being told repeatedly how undervalued and idiotic I was. In other words, I was worthless and would never amount to anything. As an older teenager I took matters into my own hands. I realized I did not represent such a person and I did have value in this world. I attribute this to my ability to be resilient. Many people do not possess this natural ability, which is why I decided to focus on psychology in college. Name calling generally does hurt the recipient.

Recently, there has been a lot of talk about how political correctness has hurt our society in that it causes people not to be direct, use straight talk, tell it like it is and so on. People have begun to behave without a filter and shoot off their mouths no matter what the cost or who gets struck down and hurt in the process. Unfortunately, this demonstrates a level of unprecedented violence.

I see this as not being mindful one with another and the inability to communicate effectively, because when you know how to use manners, appropriate behavior and responsiveness you are able to address any given situation in a peaceful and mindful way.

In terms of turning these types of situations around and building on the idea of positivity, I would recommend not labeling others, painting them into a corner or using derogative language toward them in any form. Think of it this way: wouldn’t it be better to build someone up and help them grow, develop and understand rather than jump to a conclusion and leave them hanging or feeling bad about themselves?

I’m not suggesting we sweep concerns and issues under the rug, but think twice about how to move forward and go about it.

In a nutshell, my discussion stems from a childhood memory, but directly speaks to the idea of seeking out positive results and promoting positive initiatives. I believe that when this ideology is seriously considered as a way of life it produces a win-win situation for everyone. What do you think?

Positivity creates a new brand of relationship and communication. It prevents purposeful bullying, name calling, belittling or degradation. It promotes psychological well-being. That can’t be all bad, now can it?

Consider it.
Promote it.
Let’s win-win together.

Cheers!

www.thejunglestore.com/dodos¹ (Viewed on 8/27/2015)
www.urbandictionary.com² (Viewed on 8/27/2015)

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Extra! Extra...Ordinary!

Extra…Extra-Ordinary!
©Allen Merritt (2015)

Several years ago I have the distinct joy and pleasure to get cast in a community theater production of a musical entitled Pippin. One of the songs demonstrated how the leading character of Pippin (son of King Charlemagne) felt about himself and life: Extraordinary.

Patching the roof and pitching the hay
Is not my idea of a perfect day
When you’re extraordinary
                                         You gotta do extraordinary things!

He has a high opinion of himself and what he thinks he deserves and in the process slights those who are forced to live such a life. In the end he learns he is no different than anyone else as he looks for the meaning of life.

What does it take to be more than the every day, more than the ordinary?

I have seen some ordinary people do incredible things. I dare say there is no one who would disagree that firefighters, law enforcement, healthcare workers and emergency care workers are not doing something extraordinary in the middle of the mundane. These are not superstars or celebrities. They are like you and I fighting to live a life fulfilled. They try to bring meaning to life.

There are days when I feel insignificant and worthless. At times it seems existence is meaningless. That is the negative forcing itself upon the circumstances of the moment. Interestingly, I am incredibly aware this isn’t true when I see disaster striking on the news in some area of the world. Lives are torn up and apart and even destroyed by terrorist groups, natural disasters and at the hands of people losing their minds. Suddenly, I realize my circumstances are only relative to me. Everyone feels and hurts. Therefore, it becomes easier to turn things around and see the better side of the coin and embrace a positive stance. Suddenly, life isn't so bad.

But when living in the moment and experiencing that which is never easy, how does one reconcile oneself to be more than what is and feels quite ordinary? While thinking about this I made a list of all the regular, average and uninteresting jobs I have had throughout the years. Amazingly, I worked in a lot of low level jobs. I also felt I was going nowhere really fast despite knowing what I was supposed to be doing with my life. It’s just that the reality of it all interferes with moving forward so that you can take care of responsibilities here and now. As my mother would have said, no one owes you a living; no one is going to hand you everything on a silver platter.

It’s a lot to consider, but here are some of the jobs that helped make me who I am today.
  
Sales Booth, Videographer, Assembly line manufacturing mass transit lighting fixtures, Warehouse for cement flooring, File Clerk, Executive Assistant, Money Wire Transfer, Administration, Receptionist, Day laborer, Human Resource Recruiter, Store Stocker, Call Center Representative, Training & development Manager, Trainer, Audio Visual technician, Curriculum builder, Dancing Chicken on side of the road, Cartoon Characters, Blob of toothpaste, Delivery driver for reprographics, Convenience store clerk, Choreographer, Director, Actor/Singer/Dancer, Company manager, Assistant to General Manager (Banking, Payroll, Contracts), Singing telegrams, Retail clerk, Balloon decorator, Telemarketing, Graphics, Marketing, Writer, Newspaper apprentice, Laundry worker, Busboy, Food server, Fast Food cook, Janitorial worker, Destination Management and many more (I’m sure).

I list these jobs to remind me of the ordinary and how I made the most of each opportunity to make some kind of living and survive while I was endeavoring to pursue my dreams. It IS ordinary, but in the end when you come through it and can achieve, it becomes extraordinary!

We may have dreams, goals, ambitions and things to accomplish, but along the way we will always have to face the every day. How do we make the every day more interesting and extraordinary?
  • By being the best we can possibly be in the here and now with what we are doing.
  • By making the most of the situation and in knowing that this is not all there is.
  • By believing in yourself and what you have to offer.
  • By realizing there is always various paths that will get you where you need to go.
  • By being you and aiming for the best possible outcomes.

We may have to slop of few farm animals, hoe a few rows and take out the trash before we get to where we want to be, but that doesn’t make us any less than who we are, want to be or can be. Once we realize this, we can put on our best smile and whistle a little more frequently. Faith, perseverance and persistence is what helps make a person extra…extra-ordinary!

Here is a link to the song Extraordinary. If you are daring enough you can try out the second link and sing along karaoke style. Have fun!



Be Extra…Extra-Ordinary in the every day~!

Cheers!


Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Cherries on Top!

Cherries on Top!
©Allen Merritt (2015)

I remember ice cream sundaes and banana splits.

I remember asking for something and using the button, “Pretty please with a cherry on top!”

I have to smile at the nostalgia of those memories, especially because of the cherries. I love fresh cherries in season. 

There are always fun things in life that stand out in our minds, aren’t there? Needles-to-say, the dreadful also stands out, if not more prevalently.  In fact, I am thinking how the bad actually stands out more like a sore thumb (cliche intended). Reconciling those experiences and leaning toward the good is always the challenge.

Erma Bombeck once wrote a book called If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, Then Why am I in the Pits? What a great title for her humorous writings and outtakes on life. When life gets you down and is all frenzied and chaotic we need to find our funny bone and have a little laugh, ease the tension. Thus, humor becomes the inevitable cherry on top.

I remember making up my own little ditty tune that I could sing to myself in those crazy moments. It went something like this:

Just when you think life is fine and dandy
Just when you think everything is A-okay
You suddenly develop a crazy itch
A curious twitch
Life’s a bitch
Life’s a bitch
With this crazy curious itch
Oh,Yes, they say life’s a bowl of cherries
So why do I feel I’m always in the pits
Life’s a bitch
Life’s a bitch
'Cuz of a crazy and curious twitch
But you just can’t scratch it
Though you gotta, needda and wanna scratch 
You better not scratch!
Life’s a bitch
Life’s a bitch
Life iiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssss…life’s a bitch!

Get the idea? For me, I cannot think of this ditty without breaking up in laughter. Suddenly, the world seems a better place through the humor and silliness of it all.

It occurs to me there is something to the idea of cherries and their pits. Generally speaking, we think of the pits as a bad thing, but if you really think about it, the pits are a good thing, too. How so? Well, if you like cherries, then the pits serve a purpose. Take those seeds and plant them in fertile soil and watch them grow and produce more cherries. There is something positive in those pits after all. So it is with life. Every pitfall has it's positive upswing. 

In meditating on the life is a bowl of cherries analogy, I am reminded of how important it is to stop and take a look around, breathe in some fresh air and have a moment to see all the good out there. There are still beautiful things in the world despite it all. Focus on that. Therein lies the positive uplift we need. 

There is a song about life as a bowl of cherries published in 1931 by Ray Henderson and Lew Brown¹. 

Life is just a bowl of cherries
So live it, love it, wriggle your ears
And think nothing of it, you can't do without it
There's no two ways about it
You live and you laugh at it all
²

Here's a fun clip of Judy Garland singing the entire version of the song Life is a Bowl of Cherries.


Hope your week is filled with wonderful surprises topped up with a cherry or two.

Cheers!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_Is_Just_a_Bowl_of_Cherries¹ (Viewed on 8/26/2015)
http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/judy_garland/life_is_just_a_bowl_of_cherries.html² (Viewed on 8/26/2015)