“I See!” Said the Blind Man

“I See!” Said the Blind Man

©Allen Merritt (2016)

This may sound like a silly question, but what do you see when you look at something?

My best guess is that you probably see whatever you see in context with how you see it.  I know it may first seem silly, but consider what you see may not be what another person sees. And, if you see it one way and another person sees it another way, then there’s proof that there is more than one side to every story.

I bring this up to aide in understanding the interesting impacts of perspective in our lives. What we see or think we see is based on individual interpretation as often as not. In knowing more about this we can further learn about ourselves and create more positivity in our lives. Because, let’s face it, other people can bug us! They can bring us down, demean and belittle us and create negative impact.

I have always had an interest in human behavior and studied psychology to educate myself on the matter. One of my classes was titled Sensation and Perception. It was fascinating to the extent that everything we think we see one way may actually be seen in a multitude of fashions. In considering the subject of perspective I took it a step further and conducted a few minor experimental studies to see what people were seeing compared to what they thought they saw. For example, I went to work one day with about five different outfits. Throughout the day I changed into new outfits just to see if anyone noticed. Believe it or not, many people did not see what was actually going on when I questioned them about it toward the end of the shift. Amazing!

Now that may not seem like anything connected to negativity, but it does demonstrate how one person may behave differently than another and that we cannot jump to conclusions based on initial response without further investigating the circumstances. Things are not always what they appear to be, right?

This is probably half the reason we have conflict going on in the world as we know it today. People make assumptions and judgment calls based on a situation and then blanket that information out onto groups of people. And, many time these types of conflicts (real or otherwise) cause negativity to inhabit our thinking and response systems. If we consider the alternatives, we may find a better way to respond that benefits the better part of the whole. That’s positivity in action.

After college, I began conducting a few workshops on assertiveness and understanding perspective. It is a great subject toward enhancing out positive point of view, because it opens our eyes to more possibilities. To that end, I would like to encourage everyone to consider more possibilities about what they are experiencing throughout their day, especially in relation to other people who are still somehow bugging us or trying to beat us down. Too much negativity just generates more of the same. Misery loves company!

You never know what someone is thinking, feeling, what they know and understand, so maybe turning things around can start with a vote of confidence and a little more communication and common courtesy. Quite possibly, the Golden Rule of doing unto others is not absolutely dead. That would be a good thing.

So here are some questions to ask yourself the next time you get pulled into a rabbit hole:

What is really happening here?

Is there something going on I do not know about or understand?

Should I listen and observe more?

Should I wait it out a bit?

Should I take a break from this situation and allow breathing room?

May I express a concern to ascertain more?

What can I do to bring about positive change?

I think the idea behind the blind man seeing albeit still blind is about finding truth and enhancing understanding which leads us down the path to better understanding and a peace beyond any and all understanding. That is, if we can ever really understand anything. Anyway, as I think on it, I feel getting beyond a negative circumstance is not always about walking away or yelling back. Adding fuel to the fire allows the circumstances to get further out of control as often as not. 

Let this week be about finding new ways of looking at things and greater possibilities. 

Go out and find the positive in everything!

Cheers!

Surround Yourself With Care

Surround Yourself With Care

©Allen Merritt (2016)

I had to take a friend to the emergency room the other day, which if you’ve ever gone through the ER process, it can take hours and a ton of patience. You see a lot of people and have plenty to observe and take note of. I couldn’t help but be aware of how many people working in this environment were trying to do all they could to help the incoming patients. I found it inspiring to know there are still plenty of good people doing their best. Even under the most dramatic and traumatic of circumstances from one extreme to the other these individuals were in their own way working hard to create a positive environment and turn things around from negative to positive; from feeling bad to feeling better; from sad to glad and more. All these people surrounding other people and helping other people in need! Talk about a reminder in positivity.

The experience reminded me of another incident I had many years ago after learning a good friend of mine had committed suicide. In a nutshell, my friend had confided in me that they were planning on doing this to themselves and proceeded to make sure that I was in a position not to prevent it. Me being the caring person and wanting to help make things better tried to talk him out of it and be the good friend. However, despite my best efforts he ended his life anyway.

Following the incident I found myself not only upset, but angry. I felt set up for failure. I decided to go to a therapist to hash it out. After about 10 weeks the therapist asked me not to come back anymore, because I was the most normal out of any patient they had. I was kicked out of therapy! Ha! Long story short, he gave me a parting gift of a small red glass heart and a crucifix along with a little advice to be conscientious about surrounding myself with people who care. I guess he felt I needed the assurance that life goes on despite it all. But he also wanted to remind me to be good to myself by remembering not to allow the negatives to coming a knocking at my door.

Sitting in the ER with nothing else to do, catapulted me back to that memory and the idea of surrounding ourselves with the good and the positive; to blanket ourselves with those who actually do care and not waste one minute of time doing anything else, because life is indeed too short.

We cannot forget to make every effort to thrive and not just survive OR that we are too blessed to be stressed. Clichés aside, there is a level of common sense in placing ourselves in good company which surely provides us all with a sense of calm and peace in the here and now.

I must of sat there in the back corridors of the ER for about 4-5 hours in total when an incoming nurse wandered by me and greeted me with, “How are you doing, young man?” I couldn’t help but smile both inside and out because I was definitely older than this man. He had great energy and proceeded to say hello to a colleague sharing that exciting things were happening.

Observing this environment and remembering my personal memories led me back to the idea of surrounding ourselves with only those who care. I am reminded of this as a bell chiming or clanging reminds us of the time or brings us back to the present moment. It wakes us up out of our stupor and/or distractions, which is easy to get caught up in these days.

With this little wake-up call reminder I turned to my friend and said, “Did you hear what that nurse just said to me? They referred to me as a young man. I need to keep him around.”

I hope you find yourself surrounded with a lot of people who bring about a sense of care for you this week. If there are any uncaring people along your pathway, I hope you are at least aware enough to move around them toward those who do care. We all need a positive little nudge by someone nice and kind. By the same token, we can also be the one who is nice and kind.

Think about it and go out there and have a positive, happy-go-lucky week!

Cheers!

Pulse!

Pulse!
©Allen Merritt (2016)

We all have a heart and we all have a pulse.

We have thoughts.
We have feelings.
We breath the same air.
We want love and we want to matter.

We want and need to BE.

Evidently, this is something not everyone can accept and it remains a strong battle among humankind one with the other. But in my mind, if you were blessed and lucky enough to be born, grow up and live this life, than you have all the same rights and possibilities for life as any other living being. This blog is about respect, love, kindness and remembering the truth of what matters most. Those who sit in judgement are not any more favored or special than those they judge.

There is a lot to think about lately what with all the senseless actions of a few that impact so many lives. If one thing stands out clear to me, it's that there are many people out there who simply cannot handle the idea of  'live and let live'. In fact, I read on the internet a story about a so-called Pastor in California who made his sermon about how he wished that more people were killed in the Orlando shootings. My immediate thought was focused on how unreligious, unspiritual and un-interconnected this man was...and, he claims to be a man of the cloth, so to speak. Yet, he doesn't have a clue about anything related to the giver of life. Jim Jones did the same thing and led an entire flock to slaughter. Think about the atrocities purported by Hitler and his regime. Politicians are stepping up to the podiums with their guns a blazing! It's all a bit much.

For me, I see a lack of human compassion in such people. They are making life and death judgement calls on other lives. I do not and never will understand how people can lay claim to make decisions on who should live and who should die and in whose name that should be accorded to. These personality types are the ones causing negativity to exist. They are destroyers. So where does one find positivity in the face of such evils?

I found myself thinking on just that question this week after hearing about these incidents where senseless acts of murder took place in Orlando inside of a week. A promising singer was gunned down outside of her concert. Many people were gunned down inside the PULSE night club. A little boy was attacked and killed by an alligator. Each and every one of those lives no matter the circumstances mattered! All lives matter!

I was working a conference in Seattle during these events. As sad as these events were I observed some of the following things that helped alleviate negativity and create a sense of care and love. Outside my hotel a rainbow flag was raised up next to the American flag. They both hung at half mast in commemoration of the Pulse night club murder rampage. Interestingly, the only flag that was waving in the wind was the rainbow one. I took photos of that. Spirit has a way of talking to us and sending messages of love when we least expect it.

Outside my hotel room window I observed another hotel that chose to light up the entire top of their building in rainbow colors at night to remember the fallen in Orlando. Again, it seemed comforting to know that all around the world these kinds of things were superseding the actual crimes committed.

I wandered around up to the Space Needle and found myself in a large crowd celebrating an African-American festival. The park was filled with a diverse group of human beings of every make, color, religion, and sexual orientation. On this night everyone was allowed to be who they were and join in celebration. They were moving and grooving, singing and shouting and having a gay old time (pun intended). I chose to stay and participate and enjoy the festivities and observe how many kinds of people could come together and "be." There was love and peace in the park that night. I felt blessed to experience it. That is positivity in action.

On the plane ride home I observed how everyone on the flight was similar to those people in the park. Everyone got together to travel to a new destination and have a good time and simply live their lives without incident. And, my thought was this: there are a lot more good people in this world than there are bad ones. It's just that the bad seems more prevalent when it happens. But we are human beings. We are strong and capable. We know how to love when it is important to do so. We know how to help each other despite our differences. We continue on living, breathing, celebrating, because we are "human"; because we do have a heart and a pulse. In thinking these things, I see the positivity that we must live each day, because out lives are a gift and we have to live in the present and not be afraid to do so.

Let's remember those people dancing and being happy and celebrating their lives. Let's remember to be loving, humble and kind even though we may not agree on all life issues. Because isn't love more important. I remember the story of one 33 year old man who simply stated...."the greatest of these is love."

Last night I learned how two young men wrote a song which demonstrates the perfect culmination of love, spirit and soul in the aftermath. I will leave you with their YouTube link and ask that you take a moment to think on it's message.

Can't you see that I'm Scarred
I'm just the same as you are so just
Feel my pulse

Can't you see that we're human
Feel my pulse

Feel my PULSE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrIvIEa2K48

Go out there and find your pulse and connect with all that is positive this week and share it with everyone in your circles.

Cheers!

All We Got is Noise!

All We Got is Noise!

©Allen Merritt (2016)

I don't always like being in crowds, but I love people watching. I observe their mannerisms and activity(ies). I notice their appearance and listen to their speech. And, I see and learn a lot of interesting behavior. 

A good place to people watch is anywhere in a big city such as a mall, a casino or restaurant. Then there is the park or many a bustling sidewalk. Sitting in traffic is a setting for noise. How about airports! Think about New York's Times Square! Obviously, these are all places generating noise, which can prove annoying and/or distracting from time to time depending on how one feels or what one is attempting to do in such settings. 

Moreover, they all have something in common in that they are where people wander or gather and chit chat. If you sit in the midst of it all you can hear the rumble and the roar. No doubt, when you step into a quiet zone you invariably cannot help but notice the difference and sometimes that silence can be heard. Remember the idea of how silence can be deafening? But in other situations when you’re far away from others the silence can be just as overpowering as the noise in a large metropolis. How do people live with noise? For me, it becomes a balancing act. I am sensitive to too much noise both internal and external. Having lived in Manhattan for a while, I completely understand this thing called 'noise'. 

Sometimes it is easy to get lost in a large sea of people and lose yourself for a while. Unless you're doing something bizarre most people won't even notice you're there. It feels like you're in your own world. Then at other times I notice how I get distracted by it all and cannot seem to focus...on anything. It's an interesting dichotomy. When does all this hub-bub become meaningful and when does it crossover into noise. How does one get out of the rat race long enough to get out of their head? 

For the better part of the last year I had an upstairs neighbor who I found made too much noise at all hours of the night when most of us are trying to rest. This individual would scream at the top of his voice, so much so that I could be woke up by it. On top of that, they would play video games on loud speakers at full volume making me wonder how they could stand that much noise up close. For me, it seemed like bombs going off and World War 3 was erupting above my head. 

In our social and eco-political climate, there is a lot of hub-bub and nonsense going on. The newspapers, magazines, radio and television stations are filled with noise. Too much of it! It seems to me noise lives in both the positive and negative sides of perspective. 

Sometimes what we call noise or what others refer to as noise may not be noise at all. It depends on the situation and circumstances. In my life I have found that people have directly made it clear to me that just having my own thoughts, opinions and voice don’t count, cannot be taken seriously and are not wanted because all they are is noise. Is it really?

A balance of noise is good. For example, my friend who has Alzheimer’s needs to have a little noise in the background to help stimulate the mind and keep him engaged a little when conversation can only go so far.

My friend who works from home as an artist often keeps the television turned on in the background for noise because he works alone and has no other company to engage with while he works.

People gather together to let their voices be heard may not always be about noise.

Neighbors constantly turning up their video games and music and blasting us all away may be considered noise.

Traffic, horns and sirens and people shouting obscenities may be referred to as noise.

Is there a time and a place for certain aspects of our voice? Again, when does it cross the line and officially become ‘noise?’ Ponder the following for a minute and you just might get an idea of where this is going. 

Noise.

Noisy. 

Loud.

Too loud.

Versus:

Peace.

Peace and quiet.

Silence
Too silent.

The country recording artist Kenny Chesney speaks to this topic in a song called Noise.

Every day is a car alarm

That I don’t know how to disarm

Where is the silence

That simple silence

Every day is a time bomb

Ticking louder till it goes off

Where is the silence

Where is it hiding

Cause everything is noise

Everything is screaming out

Everything has come alive, oh

But I’m getting lost in the sound

I need to hear your voice

Reminding me that at the end of the day

No matter what goes down I’ll be okay

Even through the noise

For me, I love peace and quiet, but sometimes I want to hear the music and feel the beat and rhythm of life. I think it is only natural for human beings to gravitate toward activity and then find moments to revert away into their preferred quiet space. It becomes about respecting space and boundaries.

Filtering out the noise and paying attention to audible meaningfulness in consideration of self and others just might make a difference in how we feel about ourselves and others. And this is something to reflect on this week as we continue down this path toward daily positivity.

Take note when you experience meaningfulness. Make mental note of what when you run into what you consider noise. What happens? What can you do to balance the two?

Yeah, we scream

Yeah, we shout

‘til we don’t have a voice.

In the streets

In the crowds

It ain’t nothing but noise

Tune it out. Turn it down. Turn it off. Turn it on OR let it be. You decide. 

To inspire your own thoughts about this topic, here is the link to Kenny Chesney's music video .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-VAXRC_hxk

Go out there and enjoy a week of living life on a positive note.

Cheers!

Recipe For Life!

Recipe For Life!

©Allen Merritt (2016)

Hello and happy blog day.

What’s cooking?

Here I am again taking stock in all that is positive and thinking on how to maintain a contented and healthy well-being for all. I say that because I’m one of those people who believes if everyone tried to be kinder to themselves and others, we would all benefit and have a better day every day.

As I continue to observe, think and write tons of notes on positive living initiatives, I find I have more than my fair share of ideas written on several pieces of paper stuffed all over the house in book bags, note pads, napkins, cell phone voice recorders, as well as on my main computer and laptop. Ideas are everywhere and I have yet to write out all my thoughts on many of them. In the daily grind of living, bouncing to and fro doing this and that stuff gets scattered and eventually you come back around to them. I think that may be a good thing, because it gives a person time to stew on it a while. But it also contributes to a household of more clutter, which is funny on the one hand and inconvenient on another. I wouldn’t be surprised if many thoughts get lost in the shuffle. If they do, I look on the bright side and tell myself if it was an important enough iddea, it'll come back to the forefront of my thoughts.

Anyway, I ran across a sheet of paper while cleaning up yesterday. At the top of the page it read, “Ingredients for Life.”  I don’t know when I made the list, but it jumped out at me and I decided it was time to explore the meaning of it and discuss it.

I guess if I have to assess it, the idea leads me to the kitchen and a cooking analogy. Ingredients refer to everything that makes up our day to day. And, as life changes and moves with its’ ebb and flow, those ingredients change and before you know it life has several recipes for living in various situations. Change the environment, the attitude, the people and any situation and a new recipe is born.

Remember the phrases, “Kill them with kindness” and “You can catch more flies with honey?” I think these thoughts/phrases share the idea of adding just the right amount of this and that into our recipes to make a perfect dish, so to speak. It’s like adding the perfect amount of seasoning. Too much salt is never healthy, but too little isn’t good either. You need a little salt in life. AND, you also need just the right amount of pepper.

It appears to me that some ingredients are necessary for all recipes. I decided to make a list of important elements and share them below. They are in no particular order. Take a peek and compare them with your own thoughts and personal experiences and see if any of them fit in to your own philosophy for living or daily routine.Would any of these fit into your recipe?

• Laughter
• Plenty of Rest
• Comfort
• Sense of Contentedness
• Love
• Sense of Caring
• Appreciation
• Calm/Tranquility
• Imagination
• Dreams/Goals
• Music
• Warmth
• Sunny days
• Courteousness
• Consideration
• Communication
• Follow up and Follow through

In no way do these constituents complete a recipe. They are only elements aide in fulfilling a happy life. Wouldn’t you agree? I am sure the list goes on and on varying with our individual differences and circumstances

These components need to be mixed and measured accordingly with each step we take.

With this in mind, take a moment to consider what ingredients are important to you for making a perfect recipe for living the best life you can right here and right now. Jot down your own recipe! Make your own list and put on the refrigerator and glance at it throughout the week and see if it makes a difference in enhancing perspective and outlook.

Get to cooking!

Go out there and enjoy a week of living life on a positive note.

Cheers!

What Now Brown Cow?

What Now Brown Cow?

©Allen Merritt (2016)

A memory popped into my head just now about riding along in the car as a child and my mother telling me to look for cows and guess what color milk they give. For example, white cows make white milk. Brown cows give chocolate milk and so forth. I guess black and white cows give us that cookies and cream flavor!  Anyways, one thought leads to another and the next thought that entered my brain was, “What now brown cow!”

Ever heard that saying? Since life is always moving as a recent commercial reminded me and things are changing all the time, I guess humans are always faced with many moments of what to do next. One event ends and another begins. But what if you are in limbo?

Winter has passed. Spring is practically behind us and summer is well on its way. Seasons change and everything is having its season, as the saying goes. Do we find ourselves in a holding pattern from time to time not knowing where we are going or what is the best direction to take? Most likely, the answer leans toward the affirmative.

So what to do when you don’t know what to do?

Hurry up and wait?

Whine, complain and declare boredom?

Putz around?

Walk away and forget everything?

Give up?

My mom used to say I had ants in my pants. I always had to be moving around like a wiggle worm. I think that’s true even today.  I want to do something, anything! For me, it’s worse when I just came off a really busy spell and already had a day of rest. Then I go through a getting restless phase caught in juxtaposition, if you will, between waiting for the next event on the heels of a previous one. But I was brought back to reality recently when I spent an evening with an out of town guest who wanted to go downtown, find a particular musician and purchase one of their C.D.s, which we did.

Once back in the car, we put the C.D. into the player and began listening to the soothing sounds of the saxophone. I was taken back in time when I would listen to this kind of relaxing music. I realized how it put me in a better mood and helped me forget the craziness of the day. More importantly, I missed it and needed the music more now than ever. We need to place ourselves in the middle of the calm to be better prepared for the daily rat race and storms that barrage us like dodge balls on the school playground. I felt transported to a different place no longer impacted by the world around me.

As difficult as it may be, sometimes it pays just to sit still and be comfortable right where you are, don’t you think? There is something amazing that happens while we’re being still, calm, cool and collected. It’s like when you can’t figure something out and you take a break before coming back and discovering a solution. We just needed to put it aside for a minute and get out of our head before moving on with the task.

Interestingly, other people pick up on your energy and respond accordingly, which makes me think of how I want to be perceived (even though I know I cannot generally control how others think or what they think).

These are my thoughts as I remember a couple of interconnected moments separated by years. I guess what goes around comes back around; the full circle effect.  I don’t mean this in relation to karma. That’s another conversation. But what I do see is how time flies by and things move along and our lives change (hopefully for the better). We come back to ourselves somehow…our true selves; the person we know ourselves innately to be. The Buddhist tradition teaches us to do this with the sound of a bell at the beginning of meditation practice. The Christian tradition tells us to be still and know. Both are similar in meaning.

So here we are.

What do we do now?

Seek peace and understanding by allowing time to sit there and generate what it will as it will. 

When it is time to get up and actively move, do it.

Let the phrase, “What now brown cow?” be the bell that brings us back to our true state of being and allow us a chance to be still and know everything is alright.

Hope you have a positive happy-go-lucky week!

Cheers!