©Allen Merritt (2015)
This morning I read a friends posting on the internet which said,
“My heart is a ghost town.”
I immediately typed a comment back with a message saying, “That is
because you are so full of spirit!” The return comment quickly informed me that
My Heart is a Ghost Town was a new
song by Adam Lambert. I had no idea. I guess I was out of the loop!
In any case, my little joke never made an impact, which led me to
contemplate the nature of human communication and how things are often
interpreted differently between individuals. To keep ourselves uplifted from
day to day it pays to make sure we understand exactly what each other is
saying, as well as the context for which it is said, especially if we are
communicating via social media or anything other than face to face discussion. Because
if you don’t think about all the facets of where someone is coming from or what
they are referring to it may lead to hurt feelings, some distancing and
misunderstandings. Personally, I know what it feels like to be misunderstood or
have my words or actions taken out of context or completely turned into
something negative. I have lost friends over it, never to be heard from again. It
can also cause unnecessary problems causing long term damage, especially if
people are secretive or non-disclosing of information. You need the rest of the
story. Otherwise, it can be disturbing
and perplexing.
It falls on the shoulders of all parties involved to consider every
angle, communicate well and to remember who you’re talking to. If it’s a good
friend, ask yourself what they meant, their intentions and are they keeping
your best interests at heart. I think it’s important to remind ourselves of their
good nature and how they most likely would not deliberately try to hurt us.
Communication needs to begin the moment you feel insulted,
hesitant or uncertain of what is going on. I know family members who have held
grudges and refused to speak to each other for years. In the end, they cannot even
remember why they were mad with each other to begin with. All they know is that
someone said or did something which the other interpreted as harmful. Mind you,
there are many situations where people really do hurt one another, but under
normal circumstances maybe this isn’t the case.
The idea of interpretation and misinterpretation doesn’t necessary
apply only to these kinds of situations. It can also happen at work, in public
or everywhere for any given scenario. Many times it can be humorous.
Commercials are really good at playing up on these types of misunderstandings.
One that comes to mind is a scene where a genie makes an appearance and offers
a man a wish. He wishes for a million bucks. Poof! There are a million male
deer all over the place (i.e. a million bucks). We can laugh at that, but what
would happen if that really took place. A big mess!
How many times have you misunderstood a job task you were asked to
do at work because the instructions were vague?
The boss assumed you knew what they were referring to. Then the job had
to be redone and the energy at work becomes diminished and heated.
Ever play that game called Telephone? You know, where people sit
in a circle and one person tells a story into the next person’s ear and then
they repeat it the same way until everyone has whispered the story. It falls on
the last person to repeat the story they heard out loud to see how different
the story ended compared to how it began. The result is usually different and
wildly funny.
What a great example of how information can be interpreted and
misinterpreted. It speaks to the idea of active listening. It also applies
to the written word depending on context, general or cultural backgrounds, as well as
what an individual might be attending to. Here’s an example. When I say the
word TOUCHDOWN what do you think of? Does your answer have to do with scoring
points at a football game? But what if I was referring to a plane safely
landing? See the difference? Communication helps render understanding and
clarify where the conversation is going, what you mean and what is going on.
What happens beyond that is another story.
In the end, everyone feels better when we understand each other
and communicate well. Clarify, repeat, paraphrase and asking questions are ways to
improve our communication. In this day and age, keeping life on the upswing and
everyone on a positive note means finding some sense of understanding in our
lives together. It’s something to think about, especially in light of all the related
chaos going on in the news lately.
With that in mind, here’s to a great rest of the week and to better understanding!
And remember, never assume anything, because why?
It makes an Ass out of you AND me. (Ass-u-me)
Need I say more?
And remember, never assume anything, because why?
It makes an Ass out of you AND me. (Ass-u-me)
Need I say more?
LIKE and SHARE our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/#!/LifeOPN
Follow along on Twitter at www.twitter.com/@lifeopn
