Who is There For You?!
© By Allen Merritt
(2017)
This week I found myself remembering a question that
a date had asked me once many years ago. They simply asked, “Who is there for
you?” I found myself taken aback which is the biggest part of the moment that I
remember. I suppose the reason was that I wasn’t expecting it. I am not a
hundred percent sure I remember the fullness of the conversation, but I would
guess it followed a discussion about lacking support systems. Thus, the
question, “Who is there for you?”
In promoting positive awareness, it is an important
question to ponder and so I thought this would be as good a time as any to open
the discussion.
Who is there for you in your life is a profound
question. It forces us to consider who in our life really is there for us. It
supposes other questions such as:
Do
they support who I am?
Do
they accept me as I am?
Do
they support what I do?
These are
just a few that come to mind. Beyond the idea that we have folks in our lives
who love, care and support us like family and close friends, I think the
question goes a step further when we consider what kinds of people we actually
surround ourselves with. Sometimes we are in circumstances and/or environments
such as work or public places where toxic people avail themselves and try to
suck the life right out of us.
So the
question about who is there for us also becomes about what kinds of people
should be there for us and who should we be surrounding ourselves with. Heaven
knows there are plenty of people who are either not good for us or are bad
influences.
I ran across
a great article illustrating a few types of people most of us would prefer not
to be around. It is titled, “8
Types of Toxic People Who Poison Your Life.”¹ The article suggests people who are critical, negative, time wasters,
jealous, indifferent, self-centered, irresponsible or habitually disappointing
are ones to avoid. I think the word “Toxic” really makes an obvious statement
toward the idea of eliminating the negative.
It’s a shame that some people need to be excluded from our lives, but as
a matter of self preservation and for the betterment of everyone’s well being,
it is imperative to do so.
Moreover,
people who are vindictive, manipulative, controlling, or whining are attempting to
garner attention for the sole purpose of building up their personal self esteem
at the expense of everyone else. But here is the thing: we’re all in this boat
together. Support systems are called support systems because they are there to
encourage, nurture and promote positive well being and not the vice versa. When
there are folks who are at a different place in the life and therefore take it
all out on you, as they say, then the question really ought to be asked about
whether or not this person is playing fair and are healthy for us. I guess it
takes a conscious effort to weed out negativity when you see it happening. It
also takes as much effort to look deeply into these relationships to be sure
there is not something else going on that can be addressed so that healing
happens. If we do not always know the full scope of what is going on with
another person we may be discarding people needlessly from our day to day
living. Therefore, getting to the root of the problem will begin the process of
assessment on discovering who is truly there for you.
Seems
obvious, but if we do not take a moment to think about it we can get drawn into
the drama.
This week I
want to challenge people to ask themselves the question of “Who is there for
you?” If the answers do not come quickly to you or cause you to question
further, then you may be on your way to a new discovery about the people
surrounding you. Either way, I think it is something to consider from time to
time, especially as we are always running into new people, making new friends
and establishing new relationships. But are they really there for us is the question!
I hope the
answer is a positive one.
Have a great
week.
Cheers!
https://www.powerofpositivity.com/8-types-toxic-people-poison-life/
(Viewed on 1/21/2017)¹
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