Reverse the NO!
© By Allen Merritt
(2017)
What do you think of when you hear the words, "No, no, no!"
Do you stop what you're doing? Do you feel attacked? Do you feel uncertain?
Let's spend a little
time today focusing on the word "No." It’s an important word,
which greatly impacts everything we do.
First Thing that comes to my mind are the terrible two's, remember those?
First Thing that comes to my mind are the terrible two's, remember those?
Children of
that age begin to gain more of their identity and not only learn how to say the
word, but also the meaning of it. After all, by this age they've been
told "No" many times as parents try to protect and teach them how to
navigate through life. In this way the negative serves a positive
purpose. However, as a result, children
begin to use the word as an attention-getter and to make a statement of their
wants, turning it around on the parents.
But as we get older, being told "No" all the times feels like being slapped in the face and is experienced as rejection. It takes on new meanings such as:
You can't (you’re incapable)
You're not wanted
You don't fit in
You’re not welcomed here
Personally, I have heard "No" so many times I could have made money off it. If I had a nickel for every time I heard it! (You know the saying.)
I remember hearing an interview with an individual where they shared a story on how they learned that "No" was not always the real answer nor should it be when one is trying to make their way in the world. With that lesson they figured out that maybe the individual saying "No" is not the person to speak with nor do business with. When you think further on it, you realize other people have their own self-serving agenda. If the answer is “No” for them, it does not mean that your idea, your project or potentiality shouldn’t move forward. The possibilities are endless in this world, so look elsewhere for a better fit and better match.
That brings me to another childhood phase called run to mamma, run to papa. Kids learn how to get their way when they ask one parent for permission unsuccessfully and then run to the other parent and gain permission that way (at least until both parents catch on).
There are many times the word “No” is ineffective and produces zero results. The question then becomes about what the meaning of the word "No" is in any given situation. How does a person move forward if they are constantly being given the boot or caught in a catch 22? Apparently, “No” is NOT always the answer; it’s just the one you are being given because someone decided it should be that way - right or wrong.
How and when does one turn the “No” into a “Yes”? One thing to remember is there are also benefits to the word "No". For example, saying "No"may be helpful toward staying healthy. No to overworking. No to unhealthy eating or any other unhealthy habit. These things should be considered and factored in as well. How does one discern appropriately?
It seems to me we have to give ourselves permission to step forward and move away from any negative circumstances, which prevent us from growing and becoming. If "No' helps us, then by all means use it effectively. Otherwise, consider its opposite.
When is “Yes” the right answer and/or when is it the right time? Of course, each individual event will vary. I can dream of becoming a master magician, but I cannot honestly say “Yes” to that until I have sufficient training and experience. In other words, I become proficient at the sleight of hand. But I can work on it and eventually turn that “No” around and point it directly at that “Yes.” I guess my thought on this and the idea I desire to convey is this: Turn “No” around and you have the word “On”. If I ponder that for a bit I discover that instead of dwelling on the “No”, I am transforming it to being “On”. In other words, I need to get ON it instead of being enveloped by the NO. When I am ON it, then I can to turn those "No's" into “Yes’s”.
That
means getting and being ON it. Taking initiative and responsibility for a better outcome.But as we get older, being told "No" all the times feels like being slapped in the face and is experienced as rejection. It takes on new meanings such as:
You can't (you’re incapable)
You're not wanted
You don't fit in
You’re not welcomed here
Personally, I have heard "No" so many times I could have made money off it. If I had a nickel for every time I heard it! (You know the saying.)
I remember hearing an interview with an individual where they shared a story on how they learned that "No" was not always the real answer nor should it be when one is trying to make their way in the world. With that lesson they figured out that maybe the individual saying "No" is not the person to speak with nor do business with. When you think further on it, you realize other people have their own self-serving agenda. If the answer is “No” for them, it does not mean that your idea, your project or potentiality shouldn’t move forward. The possibilities are endless in this world, so look elsewhere for a better fit and better match.
That brings me to another childhood phase called run to mamma, run to papa. Kids learn how to get their way when they ask one parent for permission unsuccessfully and then run to the other parent and gain permission that way (at least until both parents catch on).
There are many times the word “No” is ineffective and produces zero results. The question then becomes about what the meaning of the word "No" is in any given situation. How does a person move forward if they are constantly being given the boot or caught in a catch 22? Apparently, “No” is NOT always the answer; it’s just the one you are being given because someone decided it should be that way - right or wrong.
How and when does one turn the “No” into a “Yes”? One thing to remember is there are also benefits to the word "No". For example, saying "No"may be helpful toward staying healthy. No to overworking. No to unhealthy eating or any other unhealthy habit. These things should be considered and factored in as well. How does one discern appropriately?
It seems to me we have to give ourselves permission to step forward and move away from any negative circumstances, which prevent us from growing and becoming. If "No' helps us, then by all means use it effectively. Otherwise, consider its opposite.
When is “Yes” the right answer and/or when is it the right time? Of course, each individual event will vary. I can dream of becoming a master magician, but I cannot honestly say “Yes” to that until I have sufficient training and experience. In other words, I become proficient at the sleight of hand. But I can work on it and eventually turn that “No” around and point it directly at that “Yes.” I guess my thought on this and the idea I desire to convey is this: Turn “No” around and you have the word “On”. If I ponder that for a bit I discover that instead of dwelling on the “No”, I am transforming it to being “On”. In other words, I need to get ON it instead of being enveloped by the NO. When I am ON it, then I can to turn those "No's" into “Yes’s”.
Get ON it!
Work toward it – whatever it is you
are interested in pursuing. Eventually you really can turn it around...YES, you can!
Here's to living another week on a positive note.
Here's to living another week on a positive note.
Cheers!
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