Building Trust and/or Building Walls!

Building Trust and/or Building Walls!

By Allen Merritt ©2019

The back of his jacket read, ‘Building Trust.”

What an important topic, especially right now.

I believe I should always start with myself when it comes to the idea of building trust. Do I trust myself? How do I define and think about trust? Once I have this conversation with myself then I can transfer it to the outside world.

Interestingly, I recently underwent a major leak from three stories above me, which woke me up around 1:00 am. This is the fifth time in four years a leak has sprung from other units in my building. It has become a reoccurring event that doesn’t want to quit.

I bring this story up because it has makes me a little gun shy in the trust department for the building management, HOA and other people living in the same vicinity. Why aren’t these continuous leak problems being fixed?  Why doesn't anyone make real effort toward facilitating a process to eliminate the possibility of leaks happening?

Not having the trust has impact on my positive mindset toward where I live and the people living around me. At the same time, it has almost become old hat. I expect anything to happen. Ultimately, I think I have made my way to a happier place in dealing with it. First off, I don’t get mad. I simply jump into action to prevent the situation from causing any more damage than necessary. I know no one else is going to lift a finger to address the situation, help prevent it or even pay the costs associated with repairing the damages.

You see, leak damages have caused me to tear down walls only to put them back up again. It has happened so many times I’ve begun to think, “What is the lesson I am to learn here?” “Why do I keep tearing down walls only to put them back up again over and over and over again?”

It’s ironic I am faced with this issue and must think on it since it is all over the news as well.

Building walls, that is.

It brings me back to the man’s jacket mentioned earlier. It really is a trust issue, at least from my perspective. Leaders forcing this wall issue down the people’s throats most likely are making it a power issue more than anything. But I digress.

Here are some of my thoughts, which I believe are helpful in thinking more positively about these kinds of issues.

First, we need walls to build a home. Four walls and a roof placed on top of a solid foundation. This gives us a place to live, to call our own, to stave off the elements and unwanted parties, to store our valuables and necessities, to garner privacy and simply to have a place we think of as our safe place. This makes sense to me.

However, building walls can also be a means for destroying trust. It imprisons all parties, proves there isn’t a strong foundation and offers no means of reconciliation to move forward.

The same thing could be said of leaks forcing me to tear down the walls. Maybe there is something to be considered concerning how and why the walls might be put back up at all. For me, I have literally been living without walls over this past four years more often than not. I’ve learned to tolerate all the noises going on around me and develop a sense of trying to embrace the situation to the best of my ability. But I have also learned that having those walls put back up to garner privacy and peace and quiet again mean a lot to me on a personal level.

So while I am thinking about building walls and discovering more about trust, I am understanding the importance of having walls in certain situations. But every home is not just made of walls. We have doors and windows, too. This allows us access to what lies beyond the walls. We can open our doors and say welcome. We can shut the doors at a certain point to indicate we are ready for a little uninterrupted time with ourselves.

Ultimately, I think of life as a reciprocal two way street.  Anything one sided doesn’t seem to work.

Remember, trust exercises? That is where you fall blindly backwards into the arms of another and trust they will catch you. A lot of organizations use these as a team building exercise. I am thinking a few trust exercises can only help us come to positive terms in our daily lives. How we go about choosing and executing those exercises will be what determines how we process toward positive outcomes. Also, it helps us in building that stronger foundation for which to build the walls we have to build. Otherwise, building walls for the sake of building walls, keeping people out or making a statement of anger may only lead us down the same path as the in the biblical story where Joshua fought the battle at Jericho. Remember that one? Those walls came tumbling down.

Germany built walls, too. I remember when the Berlin wall finally came down. The people seemed rejuvenated by it. By building walls we lose out on wonderful relationship opportunities. We not only imprison ourselves, but everyone else.

Why are we building walls metaphorical or otherwise? We have to ask ourselves that question. Are we building walls to keep people out? Are we building walls to keep people down and out?  Or is it something else? Is there a lesson for us to learn?  I ask this because some walls are necessary, but generating peace of mind and positivity is imperative to everyone’s well being.

In my situation, I am placed in a position of repeatedly tearing down walls and putting them back up again. It gets costly. Where is that money coming from and why can’t the walls just stay up? It’s a catch 22, I guess. There is a lot for us to think about in reference to building walls and building trust. It needs to be an honest conversation/discussion.

In conclusion, I think building walls and building trust must be handled carefully and respectfully both at home and abroad.  Life isn’t always about us versus them. My final question is; do we want to open up more possibilities and invite peace and positivity into our lives? If so, is building trust achieved by building more walls?

No doubt, it’s something everyone must think carefully on.

Have a great week seeking out and sharing the good news.

Cheers!