Beyond the First Impression!

Beyond the First Impression!

By Allen Merritt ©2018

I heard a great message today reflecting on something I mentioned recently about the importance of first impressions and not judging a book by its cover. To reiterate, I referred to the idea of how first impressions are important. I understand that, but I also understand the phrase is not necessarily indicative of the truth as it pertains to what’s on the inside. I think it pertinent to understand the duality between both statements.

In today’s message, the conversation continued for me. Specifically, how we come to terms, accept and embrace one another in a positive light. Ergo, should we strictly look at someone and say, "that is all there is, we are not doing them or ourselves any favors."

While I will concede some judgment calls are predictable and true, not all are. So to keep things going in a positive direction it is only fair to take the time and look beyond what we initially see in someone. If I think about it, I cannot fully understand what is going on in someone else’s life unless I consider what is beyond the surface. If I sit and reflect or wait a while, often time’s new glimmers of truth come to light and provide understanding and truth. Not only that, many conditions will tend to weed themselves out quite naturally if we let them.

I have had a great deal of opportunity this week to reflect on situations in my life where I saw things in a specific way and had to respond and make decisions accordingly even it those choices didn’t make sense to anyone else.

As I reflect on the circumstances of various situations I discovered a pattern. That pattern spoke to me about how as things heated up, got stressful and threatened to get the best of me, I had to step back, help myself and take a closer look at how I felt about it all. This was definitely a positive approach. The other pattern I took note of related to how other people wanted to judge based on the books cover, so to speak; and  how their reactions took a negative turn, which ultimately impacted how I personally viewed the event.

Why is this relevant to this conversation? Perhaps it is because I realize everyone needs encouragement and understanding. If something isn’t going right, we must guard our hearts and at the same time not destroy opportunity or potentiality nor be a martyr in the process.

A few years back I was having a very stressful time in several areas of my life and I truly was doing everything I could to stay on the right track, be positive, keep relationships alive and make other people happy to the detriment of my own happiness. That was, until I made decisions to stop the madness.

Without getting into gory details or dragging on a conversation, I decided to step inside myself and step outside of those situations. I guess it was similar to the straw that broke the camel’s back thinking. I felt compelled to draw a line. Once I did that and enacted a new perspective, an attitude of calmness began to overtake me. At the same time, I decided to maintain moving forward in those very same situations, but under my own terms. I share this because this was several years ago and it helped see me through some tough times. It was a healthy way not to put myself or anyone else in a predicament but to allow myself a chance to self-preserve. 

Fast forward to the present, I notice how whatever decisions we based our actions on in years gone by actually may bring us to a new place and change our minds at some point. I see how people jump to conclusions and make unhealthy decisions. I see one stressful situation producing another stressful situation. 

However, healing and time coupled with not being overly judgmental or assuming things at face value may educate us further on how other people may have misunderstood or were going through their own personal crisis.

There is a positive light at the end of the tunnel. I guess that is the real message here.

Overall, I want to promote awareness toward not living in the past, letting old news be just that…old news and water under the bridge. Build new bridges. Take a second look at persons, places and things and utilize the first impression rule as a goal for yourself and not in judging others. Simultaneously, look more into every situation rather than glimpsing the surface area only. And I repeat myself when I say how everything is not exactly as it appears to be. One answer may not apply for eternity. We’re all human and can change our minds, our choices, our behaviors and as a result, may lead to altering how we respond to one another whether that is corporate or interpersonal.

This alternative way of looking at things may lead us to reconsider ways to reconstruct and live more positively while facing obstacles and hurdles along the way. Maybe it’s time to reassess and move forward as necessary. No need to needlessly slap people around, point fingers, place blame or cause undue stress or pain.

It’s a two way street. We all have something to learn from one another. Things happen both intentionally and unintentionally. First impressions don’t reveal the scope and truth of anything other than an introduction and looking deeper may turn things around and not cause anyone to feel put out or put upon.

Well, that’s enough wind for today!

Remember to take a second look.

Enjoy your week.

Cheers!