©Allen Merritt (2015)
Many years ago I lost a friend to a battle of depression followed by their planned suicide. There was nothing I could do to stop it and I felt set up to fail in some way. As a result, my spirit went spiraling out of control in trying to make sense of it all. I decided to see a therapist to figure it all out. I asked a Gestalt therapist friend of mine for a referral and began spending an hour here and there with David.
For 10 weeks, David and I explored my thoughts and feelings about my life, as well as the recent turn of events. After the tenth week, David told me he wanted to me to get out and get on with my life. He advised me that I was more normal than any patient he ever encountered. He then gave me a small red glass heart and a wooden cross to take with me before telling me to go out there and live my life, have faith in all that is good and to always surround myself with good caring people.
I was dumbfounded. I was getting kicked out of therapy. I had so many more balls to bounce off the wall, so to speak. I hadn’t gotten to a place where I had it all figured out yet. I guess that was his point. I didn’t need to have it all figured out. Nobody does. We go through each day as we are able. Eventually things will make sense, work themselves out or move onward whether we understand them or not.
I believe there is such a thing as peace beyond all or any understanding. In fact, I would dare say there is no such thing as true understanding in various cases. Acceptance and embracing situations may be a better point of view.
In any case, after that experience I decided I needed to take a sabbatical from life. I had to get away from the world as I knew it. So I left New York City and flew to Africa for a month. I took a tent, sleeping bag, backpack and a book by Khalil Gibran. I never felt more alone, frightened, vulnerable and forgotten as I did on that journey. On my departure I could not get a hold of anyone on the phone. While I was away I had zero contact with anyone but myself, my thoughts, God and the Universe. Understandably, this was my personal journey and not meant to include anyone in particular. As a result, I was able to let go of several things find a reason to keep on keeping on while opening the eyes of my heart to a larger world both inside and outside myself.
Every once in a while we need to get away from the world as we know it to find out who we are, explore possibilities, breathe, get back to ourselves and to our peaceful happy place and remember who, whose, what and where we are. Maybe that is the primary reason we focus on taking vacations albeit I think many people take time off, but don't really take a “vacation.”
Too much stress and pressure of living in and through the chaos of rat race agendas can bring us to a point where we want to give up and get out. Maybe that is when we should vacate our lives for a little while, take a real vacation. Rest up, breathe and relax and remember all you value and all your worth.
Try something new and walk the lines of conventional-ism. You might discover you are not as predictable or vulnerable as you originally thought and come out stronger in the long run.
Make some time here and there. Get away. Try things that you haven’t tried before. Vacate, explore and discover. You will learn new things about yourself and others.
Get away from the world as you know it.
The world will still be here when you get back.
Cheers!
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