You Dodo Bird!

You Dodo Bird!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

While watching a movie yesterday I heard something I had not heard in a long time; the phrase “dodo bird.” It got me to thinking. My mother used to call me a Dodo bird from time to time. As a child, I never knew what that meant. She also frequently used the word “poosty” telling me I would understand one day.

To clarify and put this into context, let’s take a look at the meaning of these two terms.

A Dodo bird is a special breed of feathered friends that could never fly. It is known as the flightless bird and is now extinct. I discovered the word “dodo” refers to the idea of a dull-witted, slow-reacting person.¹ In a word: stupid or dumb. Kids might even use the term retard.

According to urbandictionary.com, dodo bird refers to a living creature with very noticeably low intelligence. Interestingly, the dodo bird lived in complete isolation and had nothing to fear. ²

“Poosty” is another story. For a long time I thought the word “poosty” was a term of endearment. Unfortunately, it has negative connotation meaning stuck up or snobby and in some cases is a derogative word used to describe a homosexual. You might as well call it a curse word. Whether or not these words were intentionally used to hurt or not isn’t the point of this discussion. Sometimes we aren’t attempting to be deliberately hurtful; but, sometimes we are!

As a child, sometimes ignorance and naiveté serve to protect the innocent from hurtful phraseology. However, as we grow older this wears off and pricks at out emotional bloodstream. Thus, the old adage sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me becomes a defense mechanism that seldom works. I will never truly understand why my mother used these words on me, but looking back I understand how detrimental it is to use negativity toward a child. It has a profound impact and most children do not nor will ever understand. They grow up with a complex built around such negativity. I had to learn about this first hand in order to gain a stronghold on it and rise above such antics. I realize I was subjected to being told repeatedly how undervalued and idiotic I was. In other words, I was worthless and would never amount to anything. As an older teenager I took matters into my own hands. I realized I did not represent such a person and I did have value in this world. I attribute this to my ability to be resilient. Many people do not possess this natural ability, which is why I decided to focus on psychology in college. Name calling generally does hurt the recipient.

Recently, there has been a lot of talk about how political correctness has hurt our society in that it causes people not to be direct, use straight talk, tell it like it is and so on. People have begun to behave without a filter and shoot off their mouths no matter what the cost or who gets struck down and hurt in the process. Unfortunately, this demonstrates a level of unprecedented violence.

I see this as not being mindful one with another and the inability to communicate effectively, because when you know how to use manners, appropriate behavior and responsiveness you are able to address any given situation in a peaceful and mindful way.

In terms of turning these types of situations around and building on the idea of positivity, I would recommend not labeling others, painting them into a corner or using derogative language toward them in any form. Think of it this way: wouldn’t it be better to build someone up and help them grow, develop and understand rather than jump to a conclusion and leave them hanging or feeling bad about themselves?

I’m not suggesting we sweep concerns and issues under the rug, but think twice about how to move forward and go about it.

In a nutshell, my discussion stems from a childhood memory, but directly speaks to the idea of seeking out positive results and promoting positive initiatives. I believe that when this ideology is seriously considered as a way of life it produces a win-win situation for everyone. What do you think?

Positivity creates a new brand of relationship and communication. It prevents purposeful bullying, name calling, belittling or degradation. It promotes psychological well-being. That can’t be all bad, now can it?

Consider it.

Promote it.

Let’s win-win together.

Cheers!

www.thejunglestore.com/dodos¹ (Viewed on 8/27/2015)

www.urbandictionary.com² (Viewed on 8/27/2015)

Extra! Extra...Ordinary!

Extra…Extra-Ordinary!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Several years ago I have the distinct joy and pleasure to get cast in a community theater production of a musical entitled Pippin. One of the songs demonstrated how the leading character of Pippin (son of King Charlemagne) felt about himself and life: Extraordinary.

Patching the roof and pitching the hay

Is not my idea of a perfect day

When you’re extraordinary

                                         You gotta do extraordinary things!

He has a high opinion of himself and what he thinks he deserves and in the process slights those who are forced to live such a life. In the end he learns he is no different than anyone else as he looks for the meaning of life.

What does it take to be more than the every day, more than the ordinary?

I have seen some ordinary people do incredible things. I dare say there is no one who would disagree that firefighters, law enforcement, healthcare workers and emergency care workers are not doing something extraordinary in the middle of the mundane. These are not superstars or celebrities. They are like you and I fighting to live a life fulfilled. They try to bring meaning to life.

There are days when I feel insignificant and worthless. At times it seems existence is meaningless. That is the negative forcing itself upon the circumstances of the moment. Interestingly, I am incredibly aware this isn’t true when I see disaster striking on the news in some area of the world. Lives are torn up and apart and even destroyed by terrorist groups, natural disasters and at the hands of people losing their minds. Suddenly, I realize my circumstances are only relative to me. Everyone feels and hurts. Therefore, it becomes easier to turn things around and see the better side of the coin and embrace a positive stance. Suddenly, life isn't so bad.

But when living in the moment and experiencing that which is never easy, how does one reconcile oneself to be more than what is and feels quite ordinary? While thinking about this I made a list of all the regular, average and uninteresting jobs I have had throughout the years. Amazingly, I worked in a lot of low level jobs. I also felt I was going nowhere really fast despite knowing what I was supposed to be doing with my life. It’s just that the reality of it all interferes with moving forward so that you can take care of responsibilities here and now. As my mother would have said, no one owes you a living; no one is going to hand you everything on a silver platter.

It’s a lot to consider, but here are some of the jobs that helped make me who I am today.

  

Sales Booth, Videographer, Assembly line manufacturing mass transit lighting fixtures, Warehouse for cement flooring, File Clerk, Executive Assistant, Money Wire Transfer, Administration, Receptionist, Day laborer, Human Resource Recruiter, Store Stocker, Call Center Representative, Training & development Manager, Trainer, Audio Visual technician, Curriculum builder, Dancing Chicken on side of the road, Cartoon Characters, Blob of toothpaste, Delivery driver for reprographics, Convenience store clerk, Choreographer, Director, Actor/Singer/Dancer, Company manager, Assistant to General Manager (Banking, Payroll, Contracts), Singing telegrams, Retail clerk, Balloon decorator, Telemarketing, Graphics, Marketing, Writer, Newspaper apprentice, Laundry worker, Busboy, Food server, Fast Food cook, Janitorial worker, Destination Management and many more (I’m sure).

I list these jobs to remind me of the ordinary and how I made the most of each opportunity to make some kind of living and survive while I was endeavoring to pursue my dreams. It IS ordinary, but in the end when you come through it and can achieve, it becomes extraordinary!

We may have dreams, goals, ambitions and things to accomplish, but along the way we will always have to face the every day. How do we make the every day more interesting and extraordinary?

• By being the best we can possibly be in the here and now with what we are doing.
• By making the most of the situation and in knowing that this is not all there is.
• By believing in yourself and what you have to offer.
• By realizing there is always various paths that will get you where you need to go.
• By being you and aiming for the best possible outcomes.

We may have to slop of few farm animals, hoe a few rows and take out the trash before we get to where we want to be, but that doesn’t make us any less than who we are, want to be or can be. Once we realize this, we can put on our best smile and whistle a little more frequently. Faith, perseverance and persistence is what helps make a person extra…extra-ordinary!

Here is a link to the song Extraordinary. If you are daring enough you can try out the second link and sing along karaoke style. Have fun!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NNdph9L3gI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cPya23BiFI

Be Extra…Extra-Ordinary in the every day~!

Cheers!

Cherries on Top!

Cherries on Top!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

I remember ice cream sundaes and banana splits.

I remember asking for something and using the button, “Pretty please with a cherry on top!”

I have to smile at the nostalgia of those memories, especially because of the cherries. I love fresh cherries in season. 

There are always fun things in life that stand out in our minds, aren’t there? Needles-to-say, the dreadful also stands out, if not more prevalently.  In fact, I am thinking how the bad actually stands out more like a sore thumb (cliche intended). Reconciling those experiences and leaning toward the good is always the challenge.

Erma Bombeck once wrote a book called If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, Then Why am I in the Pits? What a great title for her humorous writings and outtakes on life. When life gets you down and is all frenzied and chaotic we need to find our funny bone and have a little laugh, ease the tension. Thus, humor becomes the inevitable cherry on top.

I remember making up my own little ditty tune that I could sing to myself in those crazy moments. It went something like this:

Just when you think life is fine and dandy

Just when you think everything is A-okay

You suddenly develop a crazy itch

A curious twitch

Life’s a bitch

Life’s a bitch

With this crazy curious itch

Oh,Yes, they say life’s a bowl of cherries

So why do I feel I’m always in the pits

Life’s a bitch

Life’s a bitch

'Cuz of a crazy and curious twitch

But you just can’t scratch it

Though you gotta, needda and wanna scratch 

You better not scratch!

Life’s a bitch

Life’s a bitch

Life iiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssss…life’s a bitch!

Get the idea? For me, I cannot think of this ditty without breaking up in laughter. Suddenly, the world seems a better place through the humor and silliness of it all.

It occurs to me there is something to the idea of cherries and their pits. Generally speaking, we think of the pits as a bad thing, but if you really think about it, the pits are a good thing, too. How so? Well, if you like cherries, then the pits serve a purpose. Take those seeds and plant them in fertile soil and watch them grow and produce more cherries. There is something positive in those pits after all. So it is with life. Every pitfall has it's positive upswing. 

In meditating on the life is a bowl of cherries analogy, I am reminded of how important it is to stop and take a look around, breathe in some fresh air and have a moment to see all the good out there. There are still beautiful things in the world despite it all. Focus on that. Therein lies the positive uplift we need. 

There is a song about life as a bowl of cherries published in 1931 by Ray Henderson and Lew Brown¹. 

Life is just a bowl of cherries
So live it, love it, wriggle your ears
And think nothing of it, you can't do without it
There's no two ways about it
You live and you laugh at it all²

Here's a fun clip of Judy Garland singing the entire version of the song Life is a Bowl of Cherries.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6KR9fwHK-0

Hope your week is filled with wonderful surprises topped up with a cherry or two.

Cheers!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_Is_Just_a_Bowl_of_Cherries¹ (Viewed on 8/26/2015)

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/judy_garland/life_is_just_a_bowl_of_cherries.html² (Viewed on 8/26/2015)

Thinking ‘Bout It!

Thinking ‘Bout It!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Think.

Thoughts.

Thinking.

This morning two women sat down at the coffee shop and set up their ThinkPads. Both laptops had orange stickers on them which read “Think First!” I found that interesting, because I have been contemplating the idea of thinking and what it means; how it impacts our lives.

I am not sure why, but the other day I remembered a saying I used as a kid which I haven’t used much lately. When people would ask me what I thought or what I was thinking about I’d say, “I don’t think. It’s a nasty habit” or “Thinking is a nasty habit. I try never to do it.” This was my feeble attempt at humor. In truth, I thought a lot; maybe too much.

My mother used to ask me all the time what I was thinking about and I would simply say, “Nothing.” Her response was, “That’s impossible.” No one can sit there and literally not think about something. The mind doesn’t work that way. However, I beg to differ. Sometimes, the mind is spaced out and drifts off without focus of thought. It simply ‘is’. I suppose the mind is always working on a subconscious level, but as far as the right here and right now, can we always say we are constantly thinking or should be constantly thinking?

As I write, my mind ticks off a list of references:

• I think, therefore I am.
• Think about it.
• Thinking out loud.
• Thinking of you.

Aretha Franklin sings, “You better think, think about what you’re trying to do to me. Yeah, Think!”

George Wallace has a popular statement. He says, “I be thinking.”

All of the above are good ideas and interesting to ponder considering the world we live in today. It seems people do not view the idea of thought and thought processes quite the same as in the past. I observe how people do not think for themselves anymore. Instead of being responsive, individuals are primarily reactive. It’s like we’re living in a constant fight or flight time period, an either put up or shut up mentality. Of course, it is never safe to blanket society with a comment, but it does appear a common trend…not to think or consider anything or anyone.

To me, the idea of ‘thinking’ is utilizing one’s own mind to make determinations, assess and find solutions, initiate creativity, process the world around us, attempt to understand and pave a pathway through life of nonstop decision making. Thinking becomes a navigation tool for which human beings live by or so we think. Common sense and thinking often have nothing to do one with the other. Reports illustrate the dummying down effect upon our society.

What does any of this have to do with keeping life on a positive upswing? It occurs to me that having a thought connects us to something. Exploring that thought further brings us to a new place to either consider it or discount it, which will ultimately lead us to yet another place where we store an opinion about a person, place or thing. Without thinking about it we would never get involved in any activity, relationship or job. Improving on a situation, finding solutions, self-preservation techniques and any and/or all progress would come to a complete and udder halt without some form of thought processing. Mankind has thought long and hard in years gone by and we reap the rewards of their efforts today. To me, that brings us to a positive place. The desire to leave the world in a better place is initiated by these efforts as well as our ability to continue it in the same vein.

Years ago, I wrote a poetic performance piece called Death by Thought Process. In considering the importance of thinking positively and pushing toward the positive, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that 'over-thinking' can put us in a negative place. Over-assessing and over-evaluating life leads to fretting, frustration and uncertainty. Death by Thought Process spoke to the idea of going too far, letting other people get inside our head and pushing us over the edge toward negative consequences.

In conclusion, thinking is good. Sometimes letting our thoughts flow freely or giving our brain a rest is productive, as well. Take a break once in a while. Know the difference in how thought processing effectively works toward the betterment of the whole. Think…yes! Never think….no. Respond…yes. Over think…no!

Remember, we have choices when, where, how and what we think.

Two final thoughts:

• Think for yourself
• Think before you speak.

If we let it, both of these will lean us toward something positive.

So have some good thoughts this week. Let them be positive and productive.

Enjoy.

Cheers!

Stop, Alter and Go! - OPN Exercise #4

Stop, Alter and Go! - OPN Exercise #4

©Allen Merritt (2015)

This week’s positivity exercise is the final in a series of exercises focused on finding the good in our lives. Let’s call it the ‘Stop, Alter and Go!’ movement.

‘Stop, Alter and Go!’ is kind of a spin off from the old Stop, Drop and Roll campaign which taught children what to do in a fire situation. In this case, we are not dealing with a fire hazard, but we are looking for ways to discover how to change attitudes and mindsets.

In order to follow through with this exercise, we need to be aware and ready to stop for a minute to consider all possibilities. Replace words and actions with positive ones. Consider this a re-training exercise. Retrain yourself to think and behave differently. You are the facilitator.

Here’s the plan of action:

STOP refers to the idea that you are ever-mindful and aware; prepared to pause, consider and be responsive to a situation. Don’t react, jump the conclusions or make fast decisions based on what appears to be happening. Stopping is an opportunity to see the overall objective picture before taking a step forward.

ALTER means taking all sides of a situation into account and deciding how to change, remove and replace an action, a thought, a word or comment to make better and improve the moment. For example, the next time you want to blurt out a curse word in a professional or public setting (which could prove embarrassing) replace the word with something more appropriate and/or humorous such as the following phrases:

Shitake mushrooms!

Fudge apples!

Oh, Bollocks!

Dagnabit!

Dadgummit!

Other thoughts are to think about smiling instead of frowning or gesturing a peace sign instead of the flipping the bird (middle finger); or, when you are about to think the worst start thinking about the best possible outcome. Next time a driver cuts in front of you and/or changes lanes without so much as a turn signal warning try thinking about how lucky you are to be alert enough to avoid a possible accident. When negotiating through a poor customer service experience consider how to get the other party on your side by letting them know you are on their side by using phrases such as, “I know you’re busy. I appreciate your help.” Or “Thank you for all that you’re doing.”

GO is what happens once you have made the conscious decision to change the situation as in the examples mentioned above. Initiate and implement the good vibe.

Of course, there are hundreds of ways to do this and more examples then the few already mentioned. Each circumstance is different and provides a chance to turn it around into a more comfortable situation. I think this is better than starting a confrontation episode or wallowing in misery.

Be prepared for other individuals not to respond in the same manner, but embrace your ability to do your best and be the best you can possibly be in any given moment. Then move on and let go as needed.

You can really re-frame your mindset and starting altering your point of view without much pause once you get into the habit of doing it. Simply stop and consider. Then alter it and move forward. 

STOP,

ALTER,

GO!

Try it out. Have a great week.

Cheers!

I Spy – OPN Exercise #3

I Spy – OPN Exercise #3

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Games.

Most games are usually meant to be a source of fun, education or positive mental activity.

Of course, I am not referring to head games or games people play to manipulate, control or connive their way to the top. This type of game playing generally is unproductive and useless for everyone in the long run.

However, most people like to play the games that generate fun and good times for everyone. Remember taking road trips and looking for things to do in the car? It was a chance to read, sleep, be social and have family time and look for ways to occupy ourselves until reaching our destination. There are games of counting telephone poles, seeing how many out of state license plates you can spot, how many cars only have one headlight working (we called this a padiddle), spotting various types of animals or the game “I Spy with my little eye something…(fill in the blank).”

This week’s OPN exercise is about spotting the good as you are out and about and moving through your day. Sometimes we have to make a deliberate effort to find the good that surrounds us. So, I suggest taking time this week to consciously look for the good out in the community. I spy…what? See how many things spark your interest or grab your attention that would fit in the “good” category.  Take a moment to put down the cell phone, tablet or other electronic device and unbury your nose long enough to take a look at what’s around you. And, don’t focus in on the negative. That’s too easy.

Not everything has to be an elaborate version of what is good. Keep it simple. The simple and little things matter in helping to turn around our moments and help make the day move along smoothly. For example, as I write this in a coffee shop, I noticed a young man walk in wearing a really simple short sleeved shirt covered in paisleys. Now, I love paisleys, so this was a good thing for me and I enjoyed the sight.  It was also something I liked, which was a part of the OPN Exercise from a couple weeks back.

That is all there is to it! Look and find something good as you travel around this week.

You might not be deliberately searching for what you like or how to re-envision a situation in this exercise, but it may include aspects of them. The goal is to just move about your day and see all the good things going on out there in the world. Hone in on them and you will keep life hopping along on a positive note. We need every little thing we can to inspire us and improve our moments. After all, this is the life we are living. We need to always remind ourselves of the good and not wallow in the negative, the bad or the past. Don’t live in a place where things take you away from who you are, want to be and/or should be.

Enjoy the exercise. I look forward to next week and all it has to offer in the way of positivity.

Until then, have a good one.

Cheers!

Find the Good – OPN Exercise #2

Find the Good – OPN Exercise #2

©Allen Merritt (2015)

I think most people know what it’s like to search for Easter eggs or go on a scavenger hunt. We are looking for something specific and attempting to gather it up and store it in our collection baskets or bags. It’s kind of like squirrels gathering nuts for the winter or collecting candy goods every Halloween by darning a scary costume and going door-to-door trick or treating. Afterwards, we have a supply of something we like or something good that we can enjoy now, as well as later.

This week’s OPN exercise highlights the idea of finding the good in something even when the initial impression or experience is mostly negative. If you could re-envision the experience, what could you or would you see or do to make it different and improved?

I remember being told that if I did not have anything good to say then don’t say anything at all. Then there was the Golden Rule of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. I believe the ideas illustrated by these sayings had more to do with teaching us how to create positive environments than it did in teaching us manners.

In a day and age when so many air their dirty laundry on social media and feel obliged to rant and rave their personal thoughts and opinions (without a filter) to the point of anger, it’s difficult to see anything good. In any case, it is an idea to work on.

Here is an example of finding good in something which I’ve used a lot. Many times I have auditioned for job opportunities. Afterwards, I never learn the outcome or results. Most of the time I don’t know how I did. Was I right for the job? Did I do well at representing myself? Did I have a chance? Or, did I get the job? Generally, I have to go into the audition, give it a go and leave with the idea of forgetting I had ever gone. This is a difficult task to achieve when you are constantly hunting for work opportunities. One way I try to find good in those moments is to treat them as a free opportunity such as an acting, dance or improvisation class. Free instruction! No charge, yet, an option to practice my craft in front of an audience and be seen by industry professionals despite the outcome. This is my way of looking for something good. The same thing can be accomplished in any situation that isn’t going well.

Other ideas to consider:

• Ask yourself, "What good can come of this" instead of thinking how no good can come from it
• Think more about the possible positive outcomes
• Consider it a networking opportunity
• Think of this moment as a stepping stone to a better one
• Remember how this moment is only temporary

I'm sure there are a ton of ideas that many out there use on a daily basis to find good in the middle of chaos.

For this week’s exercise, take some time to re-envision any difficult moments you come across during the week. Brainstorm through ideas on how to improve a situation and make it better. Actually, imagine it happening. Think on how to make an experience feel better. I think this exercise initiates the possibilities, as well as the positive. If we try hard enough we can always find something good in every situation. We can then use that ‘good’ to help pull us through. We can always make the best of a bad situation when we locate that which captivates us and capitulates the positive vibes!

One of my favorite old times songs illustrating the idea of finding the good in ones situation is called Making the Best of a Bad Situation. Here’s a taste of that song to enjoy as you contemplate this week’s OPN exercise.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0kiqmpA0ew

Go out there and find something positive!

Cheers!