Predictability – “On a Positive Note” Challenge #2

Predictability!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Life is dynamic. It is ever changing, like it or not. As a result, human beings have a tendency to enjoy some form of consistency in their lives. We like certain things to be and happen in a definitive way whether it is a favorite meal, going to the same places over and over again or other routine activities. Some people like structure more than others, but everyone has a set of obligations, responsibilities and choices that remain the same day after day, week after week. For example, I have gotten into the habit of getting up in the morning and taking a book, writing paper, pen and heading over to the coffee shop as a daily routine. Paying bills and going to work in a repetitive manner fits into the same behavioral pattern. We get into the practice of this or that for a number of reasons. However, one negative impact is how over time a person can start to feel that habituality as being stuck in a rut or the same-old-same-old. In other words, we become predictable. Some of our predictability is a choice. Can we choose to exercise change? Why not!

How does one feel less hampered by regular activities?

How do we spice it up and energize ourselves in the midst of the ordinary and norm of our existence?

I think one approach is in realizing there are many ways to accomplish a task, as many right ways to do something as there are wrong ways and most importantly, we have options.

For example:

If you are someone who tends to dress the same for work daily because that is what you are used to, told to do or what everyone else is doing, try to find ways to switch it up a bit. Admittedly, this is easier for the ladies, but men can find ways to do it as well even if it means wearing colorful socks and underwear that most people don’t see anyway. Get out of the black, white and grey mode.

Tend to take the same roads to work? Try mapping out a new route every other week. Not only will you do something different, but you’ll see other areas of town you don’t normally visit and might see some place you may want to check out sometime. Change the scenery. Enjoy the view.

Of course, many of us love that old fashioned familiarity where when we appear everyone knows your name, but switching it up means that you experience new opportunities, meet other people and try on other suits of armor, so to speak. If anything, you fortify something within yourself that dares to be a little different once in a while and you’ll have a new story to tell about the time you (fill in the blank).

These are only light illustrations, but I’m sure you get the drift and can evaluate for yourself where you tend to be conventional. Put some variety into your life and be a little less of the expected. Dare to walk the lines of conventionalism, within reason, of course.

Within these thoughts about predictability and spicing things up a bit comes this week’s “On a Positive Note” challenge.

Find ways to be less predictable and give yourself a chance to step out of the mundane and experience an alternative to the daily rituals. Do one thing every day that allows you to step outside the box; outside your comfort zone. At the end of the week, take a moment to think back on what you did differently and ask yourself what you learned and if you enjoyed the variation(s). Did you feel energized or enthused? Did it take away any of the doldrums? Do you feel re-invigorated or challenged? Did you discover anything new or interesting about yourself?

Hopefully, if you take this challenge, the positive take away will be worth the effort of venturing out and giving it the old one-two try. If you like exploring and being adventurous, then this challenge will be a piece of cake. If you tend to be structured and hesitant about stepping off the beaten path, then this may indeed be a challenge. Start small and see how it goes. Maybe, just maybe, you might step it up a little here and there and further enrich your daily experience, and it might be amazing.

Have a great week and enjoy!

Cheers!


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New Insights – “On a Positive Note” Challenge #1

New Insights – “On a Positive Note” Challenge #1

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Today was one of those days when you experience a little of the unexpected. When I say the unexpected, I mean it in a good, humorous and/or enlightened way. It made my day more experiential and powerful or should I say empower-full, which I could not help but share as positive commentary.  Since this blog is all about finding positive insight and looking at life from that perspective, this story is for everyone who would partake of it. Listed below are my observations for the day that made me stop and ponder, respect and have appreciation for certain aspects of my life.

1. I work part-time as a standardized patient at a university that prepares individuals for healthcare oriented jobs as doctors of osteopathy, occupational and physical therapists and more. My job as an actor is to stand in and be a patient or family member in a case study for which students practice skill sets in bedside manner, family approach, how to interview, diagnose, examine and ask all the right questions. This prepares them to be better healthcare workers. It’s amazing the growth opportunity there is here for both the student and the actor. Anyway, at the end of a full day of training, I learned that two of my colleagues both brought a lot to the table in their own personal stories of losing their spouses, which found its way into the case study.  At that moment, I realized I knew very little about either colleague. This provided me an opportunity to value them in an enhanced way. Many times we work with individuals and do not see their human side and fail to recognize them as such. When you finally see them in a different light as a result of something like this, you can’t help but appreciate the human story of how fragile we all are, but more importantly how interconnected we are.

2. Later, I made a stop at a store. I walked up to the counter and found a customer service representative waiting to take my order. When they spoke I was keenly aware of their cartoon like voice. It was all I could do not to speak back in my own cartoon like voice. I found humor in myself and in the observation. This put a positive spin on the day. We need to see other people as they are and gain something from their interaction with us even if it is nothing more than a moment to smile.

3. Finally, I was checking my Twitter feed and saw a name I recognized as a suggested person to follow. It was someone I had not met in person, but I occasionally work with on a virtual level. I looked at their site and discovered they also work in the creative field as a musician/songwriter. I never knew this. I then went to YouTube and found a couple of videos and had a listen. I loved it. This is the second person from that company I found working on the side as a musician and creative artist. Of course, I am now following both of them. So, once again, I started thinking about how we work with people and really know nothing about them outside of the work mode. This seems to be a running theme in my life. Once you learn how these individuals have broader interests and talents you see them in a new way. And, it’s inspiring.

Bottom line for me is this: I love hearing other people’s stories. We all have them; several of them. If we can somehow start to see each other in the various lights we reside in, we can open up the eyes of our minds and hearts to a new point of view which encourages only the best in admiration and gratitude for humanity. Walls come down and commonality is clarified.  There has got to be some good in that.

This week is a chance to take on a challenge to see people in a different light. With this in mind, I’m challenging everyone to discover something new about someone this week. It could be somebody you work with, a friend, acquaintance or anyone you see on a regular basis and yet don’t really know. Take a chance to open up and find a way to appreciate them on a whole new level.

I hope this week gives us all a chance to see another side of humanity and improves a relationship even if it’s unspoken.

Have a great week and Cheers!



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Sabbatical

Sabbatical

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Many years ago I lost a friend to a battle of depression followed by their planned suicide. There was nothing I could do to stop it and I felt set up to fail in some way. As a result, my spirit went spiraling out of control in trying to make sense of it all. I decided to see a therapist to figure it all out. I asked a Gestalt therapist friend of mine for a referral and began spending an hour here and there with David.

For 10 weeks, David and I explored my thoughts and feelings about my life, as well as the recent turn of events. After the tenth week, David told me he wanted to me to get out and get on with my life. He advised me that I was more normal than any patient he ever encountered. He then gave me a small red glass heart and a wooden cross to take with me before telling me to go out there and live my life, have faith in all that is good and to always surround myself with good caring people.

I was dumbfounded. I was getting kicked out of therapy. I had so many more balls to bounce off the wall, so to speak. I hadn’t gotten to a place where I had it all figured out yet. I guess that was his point. I didn’t need to have it all figured out. Nobody does. We go through each day as we are able. Eventually things will make sense, work themselves out or move onward whether we understand them or not.

I believe there is such a thing as peace beyond all or any understanding. In fact, I would dare say there is no such thing as true understanding in various cases. Acceptance and embracing situations may be a better point of view.

In any case, after that experience I decided I needed to take a sabbatical from life. I had to get away from the world as I knew it. So I left New York City and flew to Africa for a month. I took a tent, sleeping bag, backpack and a book by Khalil Gibran. I never felt more alone, frightened, vulnerable and forgotten as I did on that journey. On my departure I could not get a hold of anyone on the phone. While I was away I had zero contact with anyone but myself, my thoughts, God and the Universe. Understandably, this was my personal journey and not meant to include anyone in particular. As a result, I was able to let go of several things find a reason to keep on keeping on while opening the eyes of my heart to a larger world both inside and outside myself.

Every once in a while we need to get away from the world as we know it to find out who we are, explore possibilities, breathe, get back to ourselves and to our peaceful happy place and remember who, whose, what and where we are. Maybe that is the primary reason we focus on taking vacations albeit I think many people take time off, but don't really take a “vacation.”

Too much stress and pressure of living in and through the chaos of rat race agendas can bring us to a point where we want to give up and get out. Maybe that is when we should vacate our lives for a little while, take a real vacation. Rest up, breathe and relax and remember all you value and all your worth.

Try something new and walk the lines of conventional-ism. You might discover you are not as predictable or vulnerable as you originally thought and come out stronger in the long run.

Make some time here and there. Get away. Try things that you haven’t tried before. Vacate, explore and discover. You will learn new things about yourself and others.

Get away from the world as you know it.

The world will still be here when you get back.

Cheers!

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Play On Words!

Play On Words!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

I love Word Play.

I find Word Play helpful to engage my mind, interact with the world around me, as stimulus toward changing perspective, finding humor and for turning things around in such a way as to create a sense of the calm, cool and collected within.

This week I would like to share examples of Word Play, because I think once you play it and see it in action, the results and outcomes speak for themselves toward the subject of positivity.

First of all, what is Word Play? According to Wikipedia, it’s a literary technique used primarily for intended effect or amusement.¹ Personally, I find it fun (amusement) and helpful (positivity).

Word Play can be comprised of just about anything including but not limited to jokes, puns, riddles, anagrams, innuendos, double entendres, phoneticals, spoonerisms and more. When you need a little boost, a change in attitude or even some self-assuredness, Word Play can help. Anyone can play.

Another interesting effect of Word Play is how it allows you a chance to see into something, make greater observations and take a look at things which at first do not appear to be what they seem to be. Word Play is applicable to our daily lives in that it renders us perspective and changes our perceptions. In many ways it’s like looking at Magic Eye picture. At first it appears to be what you initially perceive. But if you’re good at looking deeper into the picture, you’ll find something else embedded there.

Look deeply into this photo and see if you notice anything embedded within it.²

 I love looking at Magic Eye art. While this is not Word Play per se, it demonstrates the idea of looking into things outside initial impressions and beyond the moment. In effect, you are manipulating words in a creative way.

In a previous blog I focused on the word Stressed as an example of Word Play. I discussed how turning it around creates the word Desserts.

This game allows you to turn words around to find different meaning and revelation; or you can drop letters, add letters, silence letters or pronounce letters differently to change the impact of the word.

Here are some other examples:

Heart

Drop the "T" and you have the word "Hear"

Drop the "H" and you have the word "Ear"

For me, this means you hear with the ear of your heart.

How about something fun like the word Disco?

Learning to dance is as simple as telling your feet where to go.

“Dis-co here and Dis-co there!”

I’ve often responded to people telling me they needed a drink of water by saying, “Wat-er you mean?”

Dare can be, “Dare she goes!”

Window might mean, “Wind-dow you think we’ll eat supper?”

I know, I know! It’s silly, but that is the fun of Word Play.

I feel lighter and humored at seeing things from another angle. 

How about words that mean the same forward as they do backwards: mom, wow, racecar or pop.

Think about what happens when you reverse a word. Sometimes it goes from negative to positive. 

Loop = Pool

Evil = Live

            Rats = Star

These are small examples of self-enlightenment via Word Play. Once you get into the swing of it you will find yourself doing it more often, especially at times when you are looking to improve a situation or an unfavorable moment. 

I see signs all over the place and find humor in them because of Word Play. I may hear something on the radio or television that sparks a moment to see something in a different way. Some of it’s silly. Some of its grandpa humor. Some fall into the potty humor category, but it doesn’t matter. Word Play puts you in the drivers seat so you can visualize a different outcome than what's in front of you right now and that is the purpose of the game; main point being, turn your life around. Look for the positive in everything. What have you got to lose?

Nothing!

Give it a whirl!

Cheers!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Word_play (Viewed on 5/30/2015)¹

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/30821578672103062/ (Viewed on 5/30/2015)²

Sneaky Snakes

Sneaky Snakes

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Once upon a time there was a little blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy who visited the San Antonio Zoo with his parents. He rode an elephant, swaying from left to right so much he felt as if he would fall off. It was the same feeling he would identify with several years later while sail boating in Boston Harbor. He believed the boat would capsize due to the extreme leaning toward the water. He never fell off nor capsized proving his excitements coupled with fear were in effect not correlated with actuality.

Anyway, following the elephant ride the little boy went into the reptile building. He made his way around the walls peeking inside every aquarium recessed into the walls. They were filled with small frogs, snakes, lizards, salamanders and more.

Inch by inch the little boy made his way around the room. Suddenly, the boy stepped backwards until he was up against something. It was an extra large aquarium which took up the entire center of the room. When the little boy turned around he found himself up against the glass face to face with a 25 foot boa constrictor whose mouth was wide open at the little boys head ready to swallow him whole and eat the boy as a meal. The little boy screamed bloody murder before running maniacally out of the building.

That little boy was me. Needless-to-say; I’ve never appreciated snakes as a result of that experience. I’ve always been freaked out by them for obvious reasons. I’ve seen snakes feeding on large prey on the internet. I’ve watched a show where a man dared to feed himself to an anaconda. I’ve sat in the woods near Memphis and noticed a large blue snake slithering around me. I’ve read many stories about how various snakes are taking over the everglades and destroying the ecosystem. I know they’re out there, but I do not like them. This has impacted my life both metaphorically and in general.

For example, I remember filling out on application for the television show Fear Factor. The application listed all types of things one could possibly fear and, of course, snakes were one of them. Facing a fear for the sake of a reality show was not worth the risk.

Metaphorically, snakes generally are representative of the negative, dangerous and not so good. Take a look at the biblical story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. I think you have to love snakes to find real purpose for them. Some say they’re good for our ecosystems to control certain animal populations and help prevent spread of various diseases which threaten humans and plants.¹

In considering how the ideology of snakes real or imagined affects our lives, I remembered my own story mentioned above. It brought me to consider ways positivity can render happier solutions.

I recognize there are people who represent "snakes" in our world. They are negative, dangerous and serve no purpose. This is the hard part, because many people tend to hold on to things longer than they should despite intuitively knowing something is not right and fails to provide any measurable benefit. Coming to terms with “snakes” attached to our daily routine that cause us fear, anger, misery and so on, means discovering how we have choices to change our existence, turn it around and move on. It may simply mean, walking away. It may mean choosing not to encourage or condone something while not interfering with another person’s choices.

The lesson here for me in contemplating snakes is more about how I don’t have to be afraid all the time just because there are “snakes” in the world. It helps me understand I don’t need to purposefully put myself in a position to face my fears all the time. Taking unnecessary risks is not the same as taking a leap of faith risk to fulfill a desired accomplishment. Often times, things change for the better on their own and snakes move on and weed themselves out of your life. I have seen that happen more than once. However, keeping life on a positive note may require you to weed them out yourself. With that in mind, I’d like to celebrate and encourage our ability to rid, purge and take out the garbage; to not let those "sneaky snakes" become a problem.

In closing, here’s a song by Jim Stafford featuring Dolly Pardon called Spiders and Snakes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lYdD9DdLNY

Have fun. Enjoy and don’t let the spiders, snakes or bed bugs bite!

Cheers!

https://www.chetenn.org/home/blog/2014/07/04/what-purpose-do-snakes-serve (Viewed 5/30/2015)¹

Moody Blues!

Moody Blues!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Mood rings! 

Remember those?

Oh, I do!

How cool was it to find a magical ring you could place on your finger which would miraculously transform into a range of colors indicating whether or not you are happy, calm, cool, relaxed, upset, and nervous or stressed? Like we all need a ring to tell us that.

Supposedly, when these colors change they depict your mood and various emotional states; sort of a little mind reader, if you will. At any given moment you could pull out your color chart and measure your current emotional state of mind.² In reality, the mood ring is nothing more than a thermachromic device¹ of liquid crystal. Or, in a nutshell, a thermometer!

Still, they were fun for a hot minute, especially when you’re first introduced to them and before the novelty wears off. But herein lies an internal discussion about moods, how we experience them, alter them and are impacted by them.

Moods vary from day to day and impact our lives both positively and negatively if we aren’t paying attention. For example, ever wake up grouchy and feel like the entire day is dragging on forever while you stumble around a series of hurling obstacles? Maybe you’ve witnessed other people swinging from one extreme to another and often feel like you are walking on eggshells to keep the peace or to avoid feeding into that same energy. Nobody wants that, do they? I think most people want to feel good about themselves, who they spend time with, what they do and keep a general sense of the positive and peaceful running through their every waking minute. However, sometimes moods get the best of us.

Moods are not just about changing your attitude (albeit that helps), but it’s in relation to being mindful of where you’re at, as well as what you’re feeling and/or experiencing. If you wake up thinking, “Oh, no, it’s Monday.” and then announce it periodically throughout the morning while at work (with a frowny face, mind you), then you are perpetuating the mood and projecting it on everyone else. I would dare say many folks know when to give a little leeway and space to the situation, but if negative moods keep on keeping on, it only serves to make for unpleasant outcomes.

So what do you do?

Start with a sense of being mindful, conscientious and with a determination to alter and eliminate one mood for another. Of course, it may take a while, but every step you take leads you in the right direction of creating a better day for yourself and for others.

Dig into your tool box of options and anecdotes to aide in mood transitioning.³

Keep in mind you do not need mood enhancers (drugs) to improve the possibilities of your day. Many times moods dissipate on their own without out any fuss or hub-bub. In fact, mood enhancing is best served coming from the inside.

I love some of the options presented at greatist.com.³

Here are a few, but there are too many to list, so feel free to take a gander and add some to your toolbox!

• Smile
• Jump around
• Inhale favorite scents
• Chew gum
• Eat chocolate
• Light a candle
• Visualize your best self

Personally, I find I often prepare my day with the idea of being prepared for any mood. I pack my suitcase with a variety of clothes to accommodate potential moods. I stuff my book bag or backpack with anything I may need to help me in regards to mood adjustments such as writing paper, pens, books, magazines, music and ear buds, mints, cell phone to surf the net or take pictures of favorite or unusual things, etc.

But, I do not wear a mood ring!

While mood rings may not be a dead on predictor of our current state of mind and/or emotions, I am willing to concede they serve a purpose. If anything, they can bring us back to ourselves and remind us to pay attention to our feelings, how we encounter them, deal with them and project them. And, more importantly, use moods to our advantage for living in a positive state.

Cheers!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mood_ring (Viewed 5/29/2015)¹

http://www.bestmoodrings.com/blog/mood-ring-color-chart-meanings (Viewed 5/29/2015)²

http://greatist.com/happiness/34-ways-bust-bad-mood-ten-minutes (Viewed 5/29/2015)³

The Control Factor

The Control Factor

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera

Remember that old song sung by Doris Day? It’s amazing how things work out when we allow ourselves to let it all go and go with the flow. Not everything has to be planned and scheduled to the inth degree. Sometimes the universe and powers that be can do just fine on their own at helping things along despite our attempts to control it.

Here is an example of a recent experience of mine demonstrating how allowing things to happen on their own can lead to amazing results.

After returning home from working on the road and living out of a suitcase for the better part of two months I got a call scheduling a local job for a Monday. On that day the coordinator asked if I would also be available for Wednesday. Now, on Wednesday a guest was arriving from the east coast, so I begged off the Wednesday job to make room to pick up my friend from the airport. A few minutes later, my manager notifies me I have an interview scheduled for Wednesday in Los Angeles. Suddenly, I have to make arrangements to travel, make sure my guest can find a ride from the airport and then begin my journey. All of this happened within a couple of hours. I didn't know if I was coming or going.

So, on Wednesday I began my commute and contemplated a plan on how to accomplish a couple of other tasks along the way. This meant trying to get through heavy city traffic and get the extra errands done in and around my job interview. The drive was smooth and free from vehicular congestion and allowed me to hit errand one on the way to the interview, make the interview earlier than planned before bopping over the hill to update paperwork at another location and get back on the road and drive home without any traffic whatsoever. I actually made the trip in about 9 hours.

Now, the point of my story is that I could not have planned any of this to work out the way it did on my own not even if my life depended on it. Yes, I would have tried everything possible to make these things happen, but from past experience I knew it didn't always work out, because factors beyond my control were in place. The powers that be opened the flood gates and helped me through it all, smoothly and efficiently.

Of course, I could say this schedule would have had just as great an outcome if I planned it from start to finish, right? Yes. Sure. However, when I look back at how it all began while I was scheduling my week on Monday, I can see the difference. I wasn't in control even though I was making effort to be.

It may not always work out this way, but perhaps there are reasons why one door shuts and another opens. Life is interesting that way. We just don’t always know why until later down the road. I guess when we try too hard, we are attempting to force things into happening by hanging on to that old control factor. As a result, it can interfere with the natural order of things.

I don’t necessarily believe that there is a magic formula to how things work out in life. We work hard, we learn, we grow, we plan, we schedule. We work harder. We do everything in our power and somewhere along the way we lose control. It never occurs to us that we are not always in control or that we shouldn't be in control. We are so busy jumping in and doing we forget to take a look at what we are doing and why.

Consider this: if we allow things to be what they are, perhaps everything will work out better than we could possibly imagine. Not always, but often enough. All we have to do is be present in each moment and be the best we can possibly be. For me, that’s something positive to think about, because I am always trying to get things under control.

Que Sera Sera, right?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7PrQX-bGCI

Cheers!