Dancing Without Music!

Dancing Without Music!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Over the past several months of writing On a Positive Note I have focused on personal stories, anecdotes, challenges and exercises on how to basically turn things around and focus away from things we entertain as the ‘negative’. From personal experience, I know how important it is to stay focused, enlightened, energetic and enthused about our lives and the world around us; and, I say that despite all the chaos and calamity often thrown in our faces.

This week I find myself pondering the idea of dancing. Back in the day I worked hard to become a dancer, but learned I was better off as a person who moved well. This was because I was short and stocky in stature. I loved movement and the expressiveness of the dance. I guess it came from being a little wiggle worm as a child. I always had to be active and on the go, off and wondering in my own little world. I realize now most of that came easily as a necessary means of survival. With this in mind I hope you find something positive in the following take-aways.

I danced. I goofed around pretending I was on a stage entertaining the masses. In real life, I was ignored and no one paid much mind or attention to me. As a result, I was on my own to find something to do and anything to be from moment to moment.

In my late teens I took up ballet, tap and jazz dance classes. I was in my element. Through dance I found a way back to myself; better yet, found more of myself; discovered a bit of who I was.

Fast forward (and many years later), I realize how important that dance was. I still love the idea of being silly and goofing around with a little movement. It can be fun and funny and lighten the load when the load is so heavy we feel weighed down and unable to budge, let alone move or dance. Life is a sort of dance of various genres. Sometimes we do not know the steps, but often it doesn’t matter.

Recently, I read a story about a social dance without any music and it made me stop and think about all my dancing days. This particular social was not greatly successful in part because there wasn’t any music and many people don’t understand how to create their own music or beat for which to dance by. Therefore, it becomes awkward and no one dances. Instead, they stumble, give up and stop dancing altogether.

Dancing in one way or another pushed me out of my comfort zones and stretched my imagination and ability to see things from another perspective, which directly correlates to how I can experience and feel the negative energies and somehow still rise above them or completely step away from them. There is something to the feel good idea that comes with moving and dancing around which inspires me.

Here’s the thing: 

• I see young people with headphones on dancing. I don’t hear the music, but I see them dancing anyway.
• I notice young children often dance without music. They don’t need it. They just go to town with or without it.
• Rehearsing for a dance number in a show often requires dancing without music while the performers learn their choreography to counts. The music comes later. I am thinking there is music within which helps us to dance. We only need to tap into it. Do we really need music to celebrate movement?
• In movie scenes depicting dancing in a club with dialogue going on between some of the speaking characters, they film it with and without the music. The dancers have to dance without the music while the dialogue is going on just as if the music really was playing. 

So in some sense, we all go through life dancing without music as often as not.

LeeAnn Womack has a song titled, “I Hope You Dance.” I think the song became so popular because it reminds us to explore, take chances and look for making what seems impossible possible. Therein lies the hope of something positive, especially when you don't know where to turn.

Here are some of the lyrics followed by a video link to take with you throughout the week.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.¹

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMtuygBrDWA

Go out there and cut loose and cut a rug!

Cheers!

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1NNVC_enUS485US559&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=i%20hope%20you%20dance%20lyrics¹ (Viewed on 8/16/2015)

Call to Action!

Call to Action!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

I usually find interesting things to consider when I step out into the world. I generally see my observations as good; especially when they lead me to reflect on the potentiality of the day. This week introduced something unusual, which led me to deliberate on a couple of unrelated experiences followed by my curiosity. More specifically, the idea of how powerful change can be; the importance of initiating that change; and, working toward the best possible solutions. Let me start with a couple of stories.

Not long ago I was working on building a promotional video requiring several hours of planning, editing, tweaking and finalizing. After the third draft of the short piece (under 4 minutes in length) I was asked if it wouldn’t be nice to add a “call to action.” Specifically, the request was to include a simple petition for viewers to actively respond, as opposed to remaining a bystander or witness to the cause. After all, the intention of the video was to make an appeal to donors and fundraise for not-for-profit initiatives. This request added a dynamic element and proved powerful in the end. For me, the use of a “call to action” made quite the statement toward pushing for something positive.

Later that week, I observed a vehicle with an interesting looking American flag hoisted on the backend. It wasn’t the traditional red, white and blue stars and stripes scenario, but a black and white version. It was like someone had take a black and white photograph of the American flag; not one trace of color. I had never seen this before.

 I wondered what it meant or if it stood for anything. After doing some internet searching, I discovered a couple of possibilities: 1) The black and white flag stood for the economic recession and an interest toward paving the way for a better future¹, 2) It also serves as a representation of Black Americans struggles and interest in social change² and, 3) It is a flag given to soldiers deployed overseas.¹

Now, whether or not any or all of these statements are true to the unusual flag’s meaning, the most common thought appears to point directly toward a “Call to Action” or ‘Call for Change.” When things are looking bleak and life is wreaking havoc, making an effort toward turning the situation around means there is hope in life.

Sometimes finding a positive solution or paving a pathway for living positively in any environment means making a clear decision to do so, followed by a call to action within ourselves to work toward making it happen. Yes, as often as not we have to make it happen just as we would when we make our own happiness; because we understand that no one can actually make us happy, only contribute to the happiness we already have. In the midst of chaos we are faced with making choices to improve our situation or wallow around within it. With some, misery loves company. With others, chaos begets initiative. If we do not like our condition, we can move past it by making that call for action, a call for change.

In contemplating this week’s events, my thoughts are focused on the importance of keeping our eyes on the prize, looking up, keeping the chin up, working toward improving any given circumstance and staying the course despite it all. Choosing to remain positive, calm, cool and collected in times of strife and uncertainty pushes us toward a more joyful existence with meaning and purpose.

I would like to encourage a call to action, which centers on positive well-being for self and others. By doing so, we can improve individual and collective circumstances for the better part of the whole.

Remember, Be Cool, Be Positive!

Cheers!

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120628002728AADLp5J¹ (Viewed on 8/2/ 2015)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Black+and+Silver+Flag² (Viewed on 8/2/ 2015)

Where’s The Fire?

Where’s The Fire?
©Allen Merritt (2015)

Recently, I worked a conference at a large resort and casino. On the last day of the event the fire alarm for the entire resort went off just before 8:00 a.m. causing the first session of the day to be delayed until the source of the disturbance was investigated. This was for everyone’s safety, of course. Albeit a bit inconvenient when everyone is on a time schedule, I found it a situation pointing toward something good and positive. The reason I write about the incident is because sometimes negative things happen (or are disguised as negative) which are actually helping us go in a positive direction. In this case, the fire was a false alarm, so all was good in the end despite the inconvenience.

Now, fast forward three days later and I am driving down a roadway and notice emergency vehicles surrounding a car, which had somehow wound up on a high embankment and turn upside down in a tree. I admit I couldn’t help but wonder how in the world that could happen. Anyway, I kept on driving to find more emergency vehicles zooming by me. When I finally got to the grocery store I noticed a huge black plume of smoke covering the sky down in the same vicinity to where my conference took place. A fire had broken out next door sending everyone running and causing evacuations. Those fire crews contained that fire in about thirty minutes. One person was taken to the hospital. Wow! Negative energy all around and I was skirting the perimeter of it all.

In thinking about it, I find myself curious and somewhat inspired to explore possibilities. I think it is a given that with every negative there is a positive. It’s much like a coin. Every coin has a head and a tail. Every individual no matter their background, experiences or history deserves an opportunity to feel safe in whatever environment they walk into.

I suppose trying to live with a positive mindset is practice for being aware of and seeing more clearly when the negative situations are sneaking into the picture. Moreover, once identified there is a chance to see deeper into what we are calling “negative” and learning from it and moving out of the danger zone and toward safety.

It appears to me how this can cover many areas in life where we think what we are going through is the worst and most negative situation(s). Since hindsight is 20/20 (as they say) my positive point for this week is focused on looking back on why bad things may have happened at a certain place and time but led to better circumstances. How many of those situations can be turned around or were the cause of a turn around?

• Breaking up with the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with
• Losing a job to find a better one more closely associated to your interest and skills
• Moving from one side of the country to another to stave off being in the middle of a disaster

I believe that sometimes we are not acutely aware of why things happen the way they do; and, learning to embrace the moment and make the most of it by looking for the positive eventually reveals the true positive only later down the road.

I am sure many of us can relate to these ideas and situations. And it serves to remind me of a couple of sayings:

Be careful what you pray for, you might get it.

Thank God for unanswered prayers.

It goes without saying that while these sayings might indicate the importance of thinking clearly and critically about each event. It also is a reminder to be thankful for the good situations and any answered prayers. Maybe there isn’t any rhyme or reason for why things happen the way they do, but it is something to think about, especially as we spend our time bouncing around all these energy fields that wreak havoc on us. In any case, when the fire alarm goes off, we should take it seriously. Our intuitions are there to guide us to safety and toward what may be better for us. The good news is with every negative there is a positive. When you can generate more positive out of the negative then we are making the most of everything.

Where’s the fire!

Use it to your benefit.

Cheers!

Support Systems!

Support Systems!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

What is a support system?

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, a support system refers to a network of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support.¹

Are support systems necessary and essential to human development?

I think so.

I remember going on a date in New York City one time when the conversation came around to discussing various aspects of relationships from friends to family and more. Having a sparse and distant family life I realized I didn’t have much to offer the conversation. It prompted my date to ask me, “Who is there for you then?” My mind froze at the thought of  “no one.”

I also remember an old commercial relaying the message, “Support Can Be Beautiful!”

In truthfulness, I think it was in reference to an advertised bra, but the message resonates on many levels when you think about it. When it’s available, support CAN be beautiful.

What kind of support systems do you have to be grateful for today?

I have spent much of my life fighting against the odds. I grew up an only child and often a lonely one, which helped my imagination run wild. Not an unusual story, really. Many saw me as common, below average or invisible with not much to offer. When this is thrown in your face year after year, it may seem like there is nothing left to do but accept and embrace that mentality as your own. However, with me, I continued to try, persist and persevere with my various interests and toward what I knew I was capable of.  

Defining and coming to terms with understanding the idea of support systems and their importance has been a lifetime adventure for me. I’m intrigued by both those that have an abundance of support and those who have zero support. There is no doubt having a great support system is valuable and productive to our psyche. They can generate positive energy. They provide a certain amount of care and love that help to nudge us forward when we try to achieve, feel low and need encouragement; promoting our best interests and simply being there, just in case. It begs the question, who is there for you? For many, I would dare say it is friends, family and/or extended family.  However, our ability to communicate has changed dramatically and the idea of a support system appears to have changed.

Support systems are few and far between and almost non-existent today thanks to technological advancements. I see people walking around mindlessly with head down and buried in their cell phone, tablet or laptops. It’s amazing to watch people walking down the street unaware of their surroundings to the point where they are crossing intersections without even looking up. I keep thinking those pedestrians are going to get hit by a car driven by a person sending a text message.

I know people who only have relationships in small sentences and emoticons. Conversation is all but non-existent, which means more and more people are avoiding each other and not getting to know one another. Friendships and relationships are becoming transient and unsatisfying.  What’s interesting about this is that it’s been progressing for years. And I thought being a shy, only and lonely child was odd. For me, it becomes difficult to maintain a relationship when the only contact I have is a text saying something like, “How’s it going?” I am befuddled about the idea of having friends I never see and can never speak to. Personally, I am better one on one than in large groups. However, there is nothing like getting together with family and friends and sharing in conversation, catching up, living, loving and laughing joyously along. It’s not quite the same in a text message.

I think there is fear of being a part of a support system these days. I believe it comes as a result of some individuals taking advantage of our emotional and physical time, as well as monetary resources. When people are out to only reap the benefits of “working the system”, so to speak, then it proves taxing on another part of the system. Those kinds of personalities move on to another system once one support system runs dry. Support systems are not and cannot operate as a one way street. To treat them that way leads only to a dead end cul-de-sac. Generally, speaking, one person is doing all the work.

In thinking about them, support systems are never about one singular entity. They involve an entire social network of individuals working together to achieve common results.  The bus cannot drive itself. It takes an engine, fuel, specific features and a driver. All work together to keep the bus moving in harmony.  There is a healthy give and take going on here.

At one time, groups held each other together for support and mere survival. Somewhere along the line becoming independent and self–sufficient became the norm. However, human beings are fragile and require certain needs to be met. Sometimes we all need friendships, confidants, helpers, encouragers and more to continue moving forward, growing and learning.

If anything, support systems help us feel like we are not alone or the only ones experiencing life as we know it. Ultimately, when we are older and unable to give back, we will need those support systems in place without expectations. Therein lies an exception to the rule, which gives me time to think about how to improve support systems now.

In closing, I find thinking about support systems in today’s world important to all our futures. Life is harder on your own. Having friends, family and good support only improves our quality of life.

Now, isn’t that something positive to think about?

Cheers!

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/support%20system¹ (Viewed on 7-7-2015)

http://www.loveisrespect.org/for-yourself/support-systems² (Viewed on 7-7-2015)

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No News is Good News!

No News is Good News!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

“Where shall the word be found, where will the word resound? Not here, there is not enough silence…”  T.S. Elliot

There are things happening in the world today which are disrupting our lives and are sitting prevalent in the forefront of our minds: race wars, terrorism, economic downfalls, geological disasters, corruption, health insurance, where is the next paycheck coming from and more. There is plenty of negative resounding in our little world(s).

In fact, negativity thrives in our newspapers, magazines and in the hands of sensationalized media and conspiracy theorists. Turn on the television and various radio stations and bad news is running 24/7. And people argue hatefully about it all the time, often in the name of ratings and good attention getting drama. These scare tactic news reporting techniques are being rubbed in our face non-stop. I think if you watch and/or listen to too many of these programs you begin to feel their disturbing effects deep within the psyche.

I’ve noticed how bad news has also made its way onto our basic newsfeeds and sidebars when you surf the internet.  I’ve even observed the sites sponsoring fear-oriented news feeds. In other words, there are people out there paying to distribute bad news. Kind of weird, no?

It’s also interesting how decision makers deem it important to include what I call “unworthy” news items such as how someone posted a “selfie” in their underwear or so-and-so wore a new kind of bikini.  I call these “No News” items. You know, the kind of thing that makes you wonder why someone thought it should be called “news” at all.

In thinking about these things, I’ve concluded the only way to avoid these bad news items and keep the negative forces from infiltrating our lives is to turn off the news. The old adage that no news is good news seems to apply here. Personally, I don’t have a desire to be subjected to a constant barrage of depressing events every minute of every day. It takes away from the joy of living life.

On the other hand, we cannot live our lives completely sheltered from it all. Some news is important for our awareness. Therefore, you take a little of the bad along with whatever you can find of the good for general information’s sake; but to sit and have it rehashed over and over again really isn’t necessary and generally detrimental to our well-being, in my opinion.

I am striving to live by the philosophy of how no news is good news and to turn it off.

I want to focus on the positive, as this blog attests to. I want some good news. I look for the good vibrations. I want to laugh and have some realistic fun. So even though I say no news is good news, there is one exception: No news is good news unless it’s good news; meaning, when news is good, then it is good news and all is good!

Now, I am not suggesting we live in a fantasy land of unawareness to all the happenings in the world today, but to reasonably reduce the amount of chaos in our lives has to be beneficial in some way. I want to make a conscious effort to tune in to the goodness in the world today.

I have my car radio set to a station that airs a specific morning program I have come to pay attention to. On this program is a segment that shares a little bit of the good news. It is called, “Tell Me Something Good.”  Every member of the radio programs team tells a story from the news that they believe focused on something good. It's a warm fuzzy moment to begin the day. The idea alone is worth its weight in gold.

I have also noticed that the Huffington Post has a online news feed that only shares good news items.  Check it out at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/good-news.  Now, this is a progressive news service that understands when enough is enough and endeavors to provide a healthy balance, or at least an alternative. That is pretty cool!

When you think about it, there really are many beautiful things going on in the world, but we are subjected to so much more of the negative then we are of the positive. That is why I started this blog, to make a conscious effort to rid myself of all those things I have no need for and/or those things that attempt to bring me down when all I want to do is soar. T.S. Elliot probably had it right when he said the following:

 

“Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still.”    T.S. Elliot

For me, I will adhere to the no news is good news unless it’s good news policy!

I like it better that way, don’t you?

Cheers!

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What Else Could This Be?

What Else Could This Be?

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Years ago I worked with several children’s theatre companies who conducted in classroom workshops following each performance. The kids loved this and were happy to see us up close and personal and receive individualized attention. It’s a humbling experience to see them get all excited to visit with you. Anyway, we would play games and encourage them to remember aspects of the show focusing on learning a message.

One little game we use to play was called “What else could this be?” I loved this game; because it challenged them to think independently, outside of the box, use their creativity and broaden imagination. Sometimes they would get stuck in a narrowed way of thinking and have trouble, but other times they would come up with some great answers proving that everything is important and serves more than one purpose. (I’ll never forget the little boy who took a towel and held it up to his groin showing how that could be his genitals.)

Personally, I think this is a perfect exercise for keeping things on a positive note. It is a great game to help anyone free up any road blocks, obstacles, hurdles and whatnot; anything that weighs us down and prevents us from moving forward.

Here is how What Else Can This Be? works.

Find a focal point or an object and challenge yourself to see it in a different light. Purposefully finding a new way to look at something can open up possibilities that will either attract you toward it in a new way or detract you away from and toward another varied direction. In other words, you find potentiality and/or solutions.

For example, let’s use a dish towel as our object. Ordinarily, a dish towel is seen for exactly that, a towel used in the kitchen while washing dishes. Its purpose is to help you hand dry a dish. Now, ask yourself the question, “What else could this be?” Imagine the possibilities of the dish towel. Think of this flimsy article of material as something other than what it is and/or what would it be if we did not see it specifically as a dish towel? What would your answers be? List them on a piece of paper. A dish towel could also be…what? It helps to physically demonstrate each answer to actualize the possibilities, especially if the exercise is acted out among a group of people. Here are some example ideas.

• A napkin
• A turban
• A loin cloth
• A neck tie
• A rope
• A basket
• A long flowing hair piece
• A bandanna
• A tourniquet
• A blind fold
• A lamp shade
• A scarf

How about that? That is a dozen possibilities out of one object. If we can take this exercise and utilize it as a lesson in problem solving for our own individual and unique circumstances, we could find many possibilities, ways around, out or away from a situation. There are many solutions. And, here’s the kicker, you feel better about yourself and find your way headed for accomplishment, achievement and positive feelings.

Another slightly varied idea is pretending you’re up against a brick wall. What are you going to do? Lean up against and let your body slide down it until you are sitting at its base waiting for something to happen while wallowing in self-pity and misery? Or, are you going to explore the options? What are the possibilities? Can you walk right through the wall? Can you walk around it? Can you dig underneath it? Are you strong enough to climb over it? Leap over it? Catapult over it? Can you take it down brick by brick? Can you knock a hole through it? Is there another route? Do you have a rope that you can throw over and then shimmy up the wall? Can you yell for help and see if someone is on the other side? Maybe there is a magic brick lever that opens a hidden door? How many more ideas are there when you begin to think about it? That wall suddenly is surmountable.

These exercises allow us to consider more than what seems to be the obvious. Maybe the obvious is a temporary illusion to what could be.

What is your brick wall today? What can you do to surpass it, learn from it and find a way beyond it? What can you discover to make the best and/or most of a negative situation until you can turn it around toward a confident solution?

Go ahead. Give it a try. When faced with a moment of adversity ask yourself, “What else could this be?” and see what magic unfolds!

Cheers!


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Little Things!

Little Things!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy, but it does take something. And, I’m certain you’ve heard it before, it’s the little things that mean a lot. They can make a big different in the make or break issues of the day from customer service to working with colleagues, driving in traffic or dining at a restaurant. While there is more than one right way to do things, the messages rings out loud and clear to always be on the lookout for the best way to address a given situation. The possibilities are endless. Here are a couple of personal stories.

For several years, I headed up training in a customer service environment. One of my frequent teachings encouraged representatives to take themselves out of the driver’s seat long enough to reflect on the fact that as individuals they are customers, too. Everyone is. I lead them on a journey of individual personal experiences where they may have not received the best service or care. Once they see themselves reliving those incidents and remembering how they felt, the temptation to be in control of the customer diminishes and it becomes a show of empathy and care for the situation and, moreover, a willingness to help find a way to solve the dilemma on behalf of both the company and the customer. Looking back on it, I think it was just good business foresight to point this out. It takes away the “who’s in charge” issue and becomes a cooperative collaboration. In the end the options open up and better customer service is provided.

Now, from time to time I work at a health care training facility. I help trainees learn various aspects of what they need to know to work with patients. As a patient in this environment, I realize the importance of how small things improve the moment, as well as my comfort level and the potential quality of care. Here are few observations I find important to think about.

• Make eye contact
• Listen attentively
• Smile
• Be courteous
• Do not interrupt
• Be engaged/participate
• Ask all the right questions
• Paraphrase answers to demonstrate you heard correctly
• Explore options
• Show some care
• Be genuinely interested
• Give a nice comment
• Before leaving provide a light appropriate touch

When the healthcare providers entertain any of these ideals they discover more about the patient and their needs, as well as gain their full confidence and cooperation. They can come up with a better plan of action and accurately diagnosis the patients’ ailment. In the same way, this applies to everyday relationships that people encounter. I think even the slightest attempt to create a sense of care changes attitudes and averts problems.

Remember the book by Richard Carlson, PhD titled “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s All Small Stuff”? It speaks to not letting small things get the best of you or drive you bonkers. There is an incredible amount of truth to how we let various things get to us. It may seem big, but maybe it was never quite what you thought it was. My thinking on this focuses on how impressions and communications continue to play a role in what bothers us or how we manipulate others and cause heated encounters of various sorts. We escalate issues and blow things out of proportion and let small things turn in to big things. But here’s the thing: we can turn it around and create a positive understanding.

According to an article in Psychology Today, little things matter more than any grand gesture and this include small notable “gestures, actions or words.”¹

What are some things that help us feel better in everyday situations? Could it be a tiny note, a thank you, an apology, a hug, an “I understand” or “Congratulations, you deserve it!”? How about, “Let me see what I can do” or a simple, “How can I help?”?

I think the little things are mostly about thoughtfulness. Eliminate apathy and suddenly a whole new world opens up. Be on the lookout for those little bits that relieve tension, make you smile ever-so-slightly and warm your heart. You never know, it could help make someone’s day and in turn do the same for you. Talk about bringing about a positive influence, you can’t beat that!

In closing, I’d like to leave you with a classic song sung by Kitty Kallen called…you got it, “Little Things Mean a Lot.” It reiterates some of those little things mentioned herein. Enjoy!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C7SzKv2uLU

Cheers!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201112/little-things-mean-lot¹. (Viewed 6/21/2015)


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