Support Systems!

Support Systems!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

What is a support system?

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, a support system refers to a network of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support.¹

Are support systems necessary and essential to human development?

I think so.

I remember going on a date in New York City one time when the conversation came around to discussing various aspects of relationships from friends to family and more. Having a sparse and distant family life I realized I didn’t have much to offer the conversation. It prompted my date to ask me, “Who is there for you then?” My mind froze at the thought of  “no one.”

I also remember an old commercial relaying the message, “Support Can Be Beautiful!”

In truthfulness, I think it was in reference to an advertised bra, but the message resonates on many levels when you think about it. When it’s available, support CAN be beautiful.

What kind of support systems do you have to be grateful for today?

I have spent much of my life fighting against the odds. I grew up an only child and often a lonely one, which helped my imagination run wild. Not an unusual story, really. Many saw me as common, below average or invisible with not much to offer. When this is thrown in your face year after year, it may seem like there is nothing left to do but accept and embrace that mentality as your own. However, with me, I continued to try, persist and persevere with my various interests and toward what I knew I was capable of.  

Defining and coming to terms with understanding the idea of support systems and their importance has been a lifetime adventure for me. I’m intrigued by both those that have an abundance of support and those who have zero support. There is no doubt having a great support system is valuable and productive to our psyche. They can generate positive energy. They provide a certain amount of care and love that help to nudge us forward when we try to achieve, feel low and need encouragement; promoting our best interests and simply being there, just in case. It begs the question, who is there for you? For many, I would dare say it is friends, family and/or extended family.  However, our ability to communicate has changed dramatically and the idea of a support system appears to have changed.

Support systems are few and far between and almost non-existent today thanks to technological advancements. I see people walking around mindlessly with head down and buried in their cell phone, tablet or laptops. It’s amazing to watch people walking down the street unaware of their surroundings to the point where they are crossing intersections without even looking up. I keep thinking those pedestrians are going to get hit by a car driven by a person sending a text message.

I know people who only have relationships in small sentences and emoticons. Conversation is all but non-existent, which means more and more people are avoiding each other and not getting to know one another. Friendships and relationships are becoming transient and unsatisfying.  What’s interesting about this is that it’s been progressing for years. And I thought being a shy, only and lonely child was odd. For me, it becomes difficult to maintain a relationship when the only contact I have is a text saying something like, “How’s it going?” I am befuddled about the idea of having friends I never see and can never speak to. Personally, I am better one on one than in large groups. However, there is nothing like getting together with family and friends and sharing in conversation, catching up, living, loving and laughing joyously along. It’s not quite the same in a text message.

I think there is fear of being a part of a support system these days. I believe it comes as a result of some individuals taking advantage of our emotional and physical time, as well as monetary resources. When people are out to only reap the benefits of “working the system”, so to speak, then it proves taxing on another part of the system. Those kinds of personalities move on to another system once one support system runs dry. Support systems are not and cannot operate as a one way street. To treat them that way leads only to a dead end cul-de-sac. Generally, speaking, one person is doing all the work.

In thinking about them, support systems are never about one singular entity. They involve an entire social network of individuals working together to achieve common results.  The bus cannot drive itself. It takes an engine, fuel, specific features and a driver. All work together to keep the bus moving in harmony.  There is a healthy give and take going on here.

At one time, groups held each other together for support and mere survival. Somewhere along the line becoming independent and self–sufficient became the norm. However, human beings are fragile and require certain needs to be met. Sometimes we all need friendships, confidants, helpers, encouragers and more to continue moving forward, growing and learning.

If anything, support systems help us feel like we are not alone or the only ones experiencing life as we know it. Ultimately, when we are older and unable to give back, we will need those support systems in place without expectations. Therein lies an exception to the rule, which gives me time to think about how to improve support systems now.

In closing, I find thinking about support systems in today’s world important to all our futures. Life is harder on your own. Having friends, family and good support only improves our quality of life.

Now, isn’t that something positive to think about?

Cheers!

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/support%20system¹ (Viewed on 7-7-2015)

http://www.loveisrespect.org/for-yourself/support-systems² (Viewed on 7-7-2015)

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