Better Together, Happy Together!

Better Together, Happy Together!

By Allen Merritt ©2018

I am a jeans and tee-shirt type of person. They are comfortable and seem to always go together well. I guess you could say the combination go happily together. Now doesn’t that remind you of a song? (Happy Together by the Turtles – 1967).

This came to mind as I read a tee-shirt at the coffee shop the other day.

I love reading other people's t-shirts. In fact when I go shopping and looking around in clothing stores I enjoy looking at the t-shirts just to see what they might say. If they say something that is comical and make me laugh or offer a statement towards something I believe in, there's a good chance I might pick that t-shirt up.

In any case, people have some interesting tee-shirts they love to wear. Some are pretty crass and bold while others are just very simple and support organizations or sports teams and whatnot.

It occurs to me how the tee-shirts we wear have phrases on them which are individually reflective of something we think about, support, believe in or have an association with.

Not surprisingly, I saw this simple little tee-shirt last week with two words. Written in red lettering on a white tee were the words, “Better Together.”

I stared at it a minute or two and then wrote it down. I thought this phrase was worth talking about and considering. Especially in a society where we really need to start thinking about who were looking out for and what we care about, what’s important and what makes us happy.

Are we only looking out for ourselves, only looking out for number one? Are we a people who come together in groups, supporting one another and helping one another out or are we only living up to our own selfish needs and ulterior motives? Are we truly better together when we do come together or are we putting on a facade to get what we want?

I find a lot of groups have a lot of internal turmoil going on and quite a bit of personality conflicts which make it seem like they might not be better together. However I think there is something to really explore here, so today I'd like to explore the idea of are we better together or not?

Better Together.

Together Better.

These two little words operate well independently as well. I like the idea of “better” as much as I enjoy “together.” Both are strong and seem to complement one another.

From a positive perspective, focusing on better suggests aiming toward all that is good. Understanding and embracing this enriches our well-being.

Togetherness comes quite naturally for many. Others struggle with it. However, when we mix the two ideas together it seems to suggest something of an acceptance of others in terms of the unconditional, which is also healthy.

None of us are perfect. We make mistakes. Sometimes we do it on purpose and with intent. Where is the middle ground? People have to live with and next to one another. It begs to question how we make anything and everything better and how do we do that individually as well as collectively? It’s a lot to think about and something I think we should ponder every day.

Anyway, I saw this tee-shirt and it made me feel good about people coming together and standing up for something they believe in. In fact, there is a book about research conducted on increasing connectedness to one another titled, “Better Together: Restoring the American Community.” How about that? It touches on apathy in our society and the relevance of reconnecting and bonding. Makes sense!

They even have a website discussing the initiative.

https://web.archive.org/web/20060714080329/http://www.bettertogether.org/

It seems a more positive approach to living then always sitting on our haunches ready to attack and wallowing in the “I don’t care” attitude.

I guess it depends on what each person believes in. However, I think redirecting our thoughts to all that is better as a community for the better part of the whole sounds more appetizing. Many might not feel so alone as a result. But it means something else. It means we have to let go, compromise, agree to disagree, love anyway, embrace and accept and come to some peaceful term within ourselves so we can do the same with each other. In that way, we truly can come together and become better!

Just think, I got all of this from two little words written on a tee-shirt.

Here is a little song I found by the same title written on the tee-shirt I mentioned. It's by Jack Johnson. Have a listen and take it with you as you enjoy your day, your week, your month, your year living life more positively and thinking of ways to make life better…together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seZMOTGCDag

Oh, in case you wanted to listen to Happy Together by the Turtles, here is the link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRCe5L1imxg

Cheers!

I CARE, YOU SHOULD TOO!

I CARE, YOU SHOULD TOO!

By Allen Merritt ©2018

While I am not much on watching the news anymore, I do catch headlines all the time. It’s hard not to if you are in any way surfing online. Just getting to my emails I have to go through a homepage of current news items. It’s impossible not to notice things.

However, I try not to get super caught up in it anymore for obvious reasons – it does not play into my ideology of positive well being to watch people tear each other apart, hurt one another and create destructive situations that do nothing but cause further harm. None of it supports a stronger country or repairs the damage being created on a daily basis. It seems we are quickly becoming the example of how not to do things.

All any of us can do is hope for the best, pray for better outcomes and if we actually have the ability to do something to help, then to do it.

This past week brought up a lot of continued nonsense when someone wore a jacket that read, “I don’t really care, do u?” as they were heading out to make an appearance regarding detained immigrants. The uproar was tremendous and I have to admit, rightly so.

If you are heading into a volatile or sensitive area where the idea of care and caring come into play, making a statement (intentional or otherwise) that you do not care and others shouldn’t either is not the best or smoothest move. People are hurting. People are upset. A dose of some kind of care can only help improve things not worsen them.

I cannot comment on the reason why this happened or even if it was truly done on purpose. But what I will say is it simply shouldn’t of and didn’t have to happen. Human beings should care about other human beings end of story. That is not to say there aren’t people making bad choices and inflicting harm on others that should not be dealt with and handled in an appropriate manner, but that’s just it..it must be handled in an appropriate manner.

I think this way sometimes of activists who stand in the way of representing their own cause positively. They get so caught up in their anger and hate, they only stir up more anger and hate.

How is any of this creating a positive affect?

We are obviously a country divided and cannot even agree to disagree. Conflict resolution doesn’t exist anymore. Operating with a filter to show good faith and good manners doesn’t exist anymore. But shouldn’t it? How else are we ever going to make things better? I believe it is something to think about, especially since we are not all like minded in ideology.

But we’re living on the same planet, breathing the same air, eating food and trying to live our lives to the best of our ability, aren’t we?

Here’s the thing. While I do not agree with many things being said, done or happening in our country or even in our world, I do not wish ill will on anyone. We are all created equally in the image of a higher being beyond our wildest imaginations. Therefore, we owe it to ourselves to try harder to be better. In that, we find a more positive stance for which to move forward and live by. In that, we have positive health and well being. In that, we can slowly make our way to the table and make things right and anew. That is, if we care!

The current press secretary was invited to leave a restaurant this week. Now, I do not care for the position they’re in or the way they have handled many things since taking on the job, but I do have respect for the fact they gathered themselves up without incident and chose to quietly leave the business and remain considerate and polite despite the situation. In that, there seemed to be a sense of care. 

So should we care or not?

Should we care about each other no matter gender, race, orientation, religion, culture or anything else?

Should we care about people being detained and separated and how the immigration process is handled?

Should we care about what it means further down the line considering how history keeps repeating itself and words like dictatorship and genocide are being tossed around like hot potatoes?

I think the message is clear.

Instead of projecting an image of apathy and carelessness by making statements like, “I don’t really care, do u?” We definitely ought to be thinking twice and showing a sense of care and initiative to help by saying, “I care and you should too!”

Then the question becomes more about how to demonstrate our sense of care.

Let’s stay on the positive track and find more ways to rise above the chaos.

Here’s to living life more positively for all of our well-beings.

Cheers!

52 Card Pick Up!

52 Card Pick Up!

By Allen Merritt ©2018

Ever play 52 card pick up?

It’s a card game. Well, sort of!

It's real easy. First, ask someone if they want to play the game. Then take an entire deck of cards, shuffle them a time or two just for fun and then suddenly scatter them everywhere by throwing/spewing them across the room. 

Cards from every suit are now strewn all around. The other player now has to pick them up and put the deck back together again. Generally, this is performed as a prank and a joke. Needless-to-say, a sense of humor is necessary.

However, with a little exploration I discovered how the game can be utilized to do some good thinks (other than make a mess or pull someone's leg). ¹

Positive aspects of playing this game involve building teams. Generating team spirit and working together to find solutions is always a positive aspect toward achieving. Think about Habitat for Humanity and barn raisings. People come together to help their neighbors.

Another positive element would be how the game helps people use their thinking caps. Think of it like one of those brain games that help keep minds active and alive. The facilitator assigns the goal (i.e. put each suit together in numerical order.) and it becomes a race to see who can accomplish the task first.

I have even noticed there is a workout series called “52 Card Pick Up” where your daily workout is determined by the cards including how many reps to do and what each suit and color each exercise is represented by.

I don’t know why I was thinking of this childhood game. It simply popped in my head out of nowhere. I guess it makes sense though when you are trying to make the most of your daily life and stay on the positive upswing to realize that albeit some things seem to generate more messes than others, there is still a positive result to reach out for.

I have a friend who has been trying for several years now to clean up her mess of a home. Teetering on the brink of being a hoarder she understands it’s her place to take care of it, so she does a little every day to sort and trash. She maintains a positive attitude about it and appears determined. I think she understands it is in her best interest and well-being to make order out of the chaos. This is her “52 Card pick up.”

I feel that way sometimes, too, especially when I am running here and there, packing a bag and then throwing it in the corner before grabbing another bag and heading out again. Mail piles up, newspapers, magazines, clothes and somewhere in the midst of it all I need to sleep and find time to rest and take care of me. So I see the piles and eventually get to them and reorganize. This is my “52 Card Pick Up.”

I guess when we feel overwhelmed by any kind of a mess, most of us want to make it better and move forward. I love a clean environment, but have learned I cannot always get there until time allows. The way I see it, life needs to look lived in a bit anyway.

Besides, do not most people have a throw all drawer, corner or room they utilize for just this sort of thing?

There is always something positive to strive for once we look into the situation.

I feel we must find a way to make it all fun and fulfilling to keep ourselves on the positive track. Isn’t that the idea behind neighborhood fundraiser car washes? Folks get together, get wet and dirty and have a good time all for a good cause.

If it’s a mess, then it’s a 52 Card Pick Up!

I think we might as well have a laugh at all of the ups and downs that come along. No sense in crying over spilled milk as they say.

Keep that in mind this week as you enjoy living life on a positive note.

Cheers!

What Now?

What Now?

By Allen Merritt ©2018

Well, I am way behind on my writing lately. I overdid it this past week and had too much on my plate and by the week’s end I found myself exhausted and sore. But all in all it was a good week. Felt like I was able to accomplish everything set before me despite it all.

In a nutshell, I spend every bit of time I could yesterday in a horizontal position. Felt the need to crash and take care of me, which is a positive thing! I continue to do this today. 

We need to listen to our bodies sometimes and take a moment to recuperate before jumping into something new.

So let me share some of what took place to give clarity to the situation.

I commuted to Los Angeles twice for a total of three days of work, classes and audition. Then I had to get back home to finish out the final week of the musical I have been performing. Then the weekend came up with a memorial service and hauling around a lot of equipment and Sunday I worked my regular AV job and felt like I was falling asleep.

I am sure anyone reading this has been through this type of hectic schedule. Bottom line is to get some rest and heal yourself.

I had another experience this week I felt was extremely positive. I stopped in at a copy store to make a print for myself and ended up communicating with a man who was deaf. This doesn’t happen every day. I rather enjoyed learning something about myself and the other person in how to communicate effectively under these circumstances. It was easy. All I had to do was write down my questions and requests and the gentleman responded in kind. It was probably one of the best customer service experiences I have had. I walked out feeling as if I accomplished something.

Positivity abounds everywhere. We simply have to pay attention and embrace it as it happens.

I guess that is all I need to say today.

Short and sweet.

Now what?

Back to resting.

Have a great week living life on a positive note.

Cheers!

Making E.F.F.O.R.T.!

Making E.F.F.O.R.T.!

By Allen Merritt ©2018

Effort.

I have been thinking about that word.

Look it up in the dictionary and it references the idea of being determined and attempting to accomplish and/or achieve.

Effort.  E-F-F-O-R-T.  Effort.

There isn’t any indication of any resulting success from said attempt(s). It only mentions the idea of working toward something. At the same time, the idea doesn’t say one will not succeed. What it does indicate is making an attempt with full intent and purpose. In other words, it suggests working with the right attitude and frame of mind. It’s an action word. It isn’t sedentary. It even sounds robust, no?

Effort is what turning things around from negative to positive is all about. It helps focus on what is good and true when we are in our right mind. Effort forces one to seek new perspectives. I would say effort is what positivity is founded upon or at the very least is a key ingredient.

If the word “effort” were used as an acronym to help define and remind us of its meaning, I would break it down as follows.

E.F.F.O.R.T.

Effectively Focusing First On Rightly Thinking.

Sounds a bit like Buddhist philosophy, doesn’t it? I bet the Dali Lama or Thich Nhat Hahn would appreciate such an acronym. In any case, I think our Western brains could benefit from remembering and applying such an acronym to our daily practice of living, loving and learning.

It begins with changing your mind; turning your thinking around into something good. The first thing we must do is alter our thinking.

For example, if you are having what most would call a bad day, make the effort to creating a better day. Of course, sometimes going with the flow is the answer, but overall it is a conscious choice and chore to turn your mental faculties toward changing the circumstances from worse to better.

Something as simple as looking for the good in someone else you generally have a distaste for may produce a better appreciation for that person and lighten the time you are around them.

Solving problems or resolving a conflict all start with seeing things anew and that takes effort.

I know people who refuse to consider talking to someone and holding a grudge for years rather than reach out and find clarification or common ground. As often as not, the reason for the grudge was over simple pettiness.

Consider this, since we only have a little bit of time to make things happen on this planet, why not take a stronger stance to being more present and involved with helping improve everything we come across?

When it comes to experiencing positivity in motion, the idea of making an effort, putting your best foot forward and changing your perspective is the perfect place to jump off from.  

As a source of encouragement, here are some quotes by well known people supporting the “effort” mentality.

• Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort. – Franklin D. Roosevelt
• Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential. – Winston Churchill
• Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory. Mahatma Gandhi
• Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you. – Arnold Palmer
• Sometimes, things may not go your way, but the effort should be there every single night. – Michael Jordan

You can read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/effort.

I hope that this week provides us all with an opportunity to put our best foot forward and make stronger effort to be the best we can be at all times.

Remember the word “effort” as an acronym to guide us through each day.

E.F.F.O.R.T.

Effectively Focusing First On Rightly Thinking.

Thanks for all you are and all you do to create a positive environment to promote better well being.

Go out there and live life on a positive note.

Cheers!

What’s in Your Care Package?

What’s in Your Care Package?

By Allen Merritt ©2018

After sleeping in, I made my usual trip to the coffee shop this morning. It was a good time to go as only a few people were sitting inside (i.e. not crowded and no lines to stand in).

This particular location is the closest one to me and lately it has been getting all the orders wrong. I am thinking it is because there has been a tremendous change in staff over the last few weeks. No matter how clearly you recite your order it does not come out correctly. I have noticed several people having this experience, some being quite vocal, not-to-mention frustrated. 

Overall, it has meant a return of an item with the request to get it right! I observed one man take his drink order back three times.

In fact, a couple of days ago I received my iced mocha and it was almost black with an abundance (or overload) of chocolate. I usually reduce it from 6 pumps mocha down to 2 pumps. I asked it to be remade. This time it came to me with no chocolate and too much espresso. I gave up, went to the grocery store, bought some chocolate almond milk and poured a little into my strong coffee to cut the bitterness to where I like it. I didn’t want to keep repeating the process only to discover that I was living out the definition of insanity.

However, this morning I tried a new technique and asked the cashier to repeat the order and confirm what I asked so they would understand I am expecting them to get it right. And, it came out correct! Yay!

As I thought further on the subject it brought me around to the idea of care and caring. If we take care of others, then they might take better care of us. If we are careful on how we approach any subject, topic and situation by operating with a sense of care, the likelihood of achieving top notch or acceptable results will be higher.

I am reminded of something called the “care package.”

If I remember correctly, the care package was a means to help provide aid to those in need. For example, putting together a food box for those experiencing hardship would be an extension of care. Clothing, backpack and blanket drives are another way of providing care.

When people operate with a sense of care, better human relations result. People’s needs are met and appreciation, respect and common ground are reached.

It is way too easy to go off the deep end, be reactionary and not consider all possibilities of a situation as to the why something is or is not happening the way one thinks it should. However, if one shows a little care and demonstrates such care gently, everyone stands a better chance of a peaceful resolution. It turns into a win-win position rather than a my-way or the by-way situation.

So the question turns to what is in your care package?

What can you offer to help better the circumstance?

Here are my thoughts.

• Be considerate anyway.
• Think twice before speaking.
• Speak calmly and articulately.
• Offer up your concern as a concern rather than a demand.
• Pay attention to what is going on and be prepared for the possibility that things are not as they appear to be. There may be more impacting what is or isn’t happening than you realize.
• Give others a second chance.
• Turn that frown upside down.

When we can open up a door of opportunity via effective communication many will feel better. This is positivity in motion. It doesn’t help to exacerbate a negative experience by turning it into another negative experience. In my opinion, that is the same thing as saying two wrongs don’t make a right.

So to put a positive spin on the day, I believe it helps to have a little care package at our disposal. We can dip into it and help ourselves and others have a better day and an improved overall experience.

I don’t know about you, but I would much rather walk out with a smile on my face and see a smile on someone else’s face than carry around and produce frowns with emotional repercussions.

What’s in your care package?

Use it to help provide relief wherever you go and with whatever you do.

Have a great week living life on a positive note.

Cheers!