What About the Weather!

What About the Weather!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

The other day I watched the skies cloud over the city. An hour later the sky was blue and filled with sunshine. Next thing I knew, clouds rolled back in again. This went on, going back and forth, throughout the entire day. It seemed that just when I thought it was going to be clear something meteorologically would change. Mother Nature was teasing us with a little “Yes” and then a little, “No.” It felt like the world was dangling a carrot in front of me and then jerking it up and out of reach.

Now, I am a warm weather sort of person. In terms of having a feel-good moment my happy place is in seeing a beautiful sunny day. I don’t mind a little rain, snow and coolness, but over the years I’ve discovered I’m not at my best when I’m inhibited by the elements for great lengths of time. Therefore, I would never imagine myself living in Alaska, Iceland, Antarctica or Siberia. Burr!

The reason I bring up this subject in relation to positivity is because of how it relates to the catchphrase, “If you don’t like the weather, stick around a minute and it’ll change.” In many cases, this is true. In fact, I always check out the weather forecasts when I am traveling to gauge what it will be like during the trip. 

What’s interesting to me is that everywhere I go; I have heard the locals say the same thing about their weather, as if it only applies to their area. Despite it all, I understand it’s their way of saying, “Wait it out. It won’t last long.”

I believe there is something positive and comforting in leaning into this little phrase about the weather changing, which we can carry with us throughout each day, week, month and so forth. I guess we can always relate braving the storms, trials and tribulations of life to the weather patterns we experience. No matter how difficult and scary it may be, there is an ebb and flow as the days come and go.  Tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes, avalanches and tsunamis never stick around. Ergo, if you don’t like the storm, weather it out as safely as possible.

Think of the following as little storm related anecdotes:

• Hang in there!
• This too shall pass!
• It will not last.
• This is temporary.
• Hold on a moment.

Maybe it is a bit cliche in a way, but aren't cliches usually a part of a bigger truth? And, if we are trying to find ways to create a better day for ourselves and others, then wouldn't we want to focus on good health and well being? How can we do that if we allow ourselves to feel like circumstances never change; or, we will continue to remain stuck in a rut; or, that we are not capable or rising above our circumstances like the Phoenix Rising? There is real world application in the ideology of sticking around and watching things change, especially if we focus on positive change and their outcomes.

So if you feel like there is a black cloud hanging over your head, consider embracing it for a bit. Stick around for a while and it will change just like the weather. Maybe it’s a sign to sit tight long enough to watch everything play out in front of you and to clear your head a bit. The night is always darkest before the dawn, but the sun soon appears.

Don’t like the weather?

Stick around and watch it magically change...for the better!

Cheers!

To Do or Not To Do!

To Do or Not To Do!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Today I want to discuss the inevitable impact of the ‘To Do’ list. The “To Do’ list is considered a noun and it generally is thought of as a time management procedure to help organize tasks.

Personally, I like to refer to the ‘To Do’ list as my Todo (Tow-Doe) list. I don’t know why other than it’s my silly sense of humor at work. Anyway, I constantly have scratch paper scribbled up with things to do, ideas, and wish list items, etcetera. After a while it becomes more like chicken scratch and is barely readable resulting in my creating a new list by transferring unfinished items onto another piece of paper. Needless-to-say, it is an ongoing phenomenon that never seems to go away.

In my opinion, the 'To Do' list has the capability of impacting us either negatively or positively. On a positive note, when you accomplished the tasks and mark them off the list you might feel fruitful and productive. “Hey, I am getting somewhere.” On the other hand, if the list never seems to diminish it may leave you feeling bogged down with tons of stuff that need to be done. Ultimately, it leaves me feeling like I am going nowhere really fast.

So why doesn't that ‘To Do’ list ever go away? Is it because we are always wanting more and never feel satisfied? Is it never enough for us and we keep compounding the problem with more things to do or get done? I mean, just as you tick one thing off the list, you add 5 more tasks.

Would we be happier and live more positively if we did away with the “To Do’ list altogether? If so, how would we stay organized in our life of activities? 

The thought of eliminating the list has crossed my mind many times over the years. Like everyone else, I am always making lists to keep thoughts in order, chores organized and then marked off once they are completed, so that I can end the day with a sense of accomplishment, see results and move forward in life. But it keeps growing! There are more additions, more scribbles and more mark offs.

Oh, yes, I've tried other means for which to organize my lists such as electronic notes on my cell phone. That works on a limited basis, but ends up the same as a handwritten list. And, my phone auto deletes my tasks after so much time and then all of a sudden I cannot find the list (which may be a sign to get rid of it, right?). After that I have to start another list and try to remember what remained on the last list.

I have also thought about using sticky post-it type notes and putting them up on the refrigerator until their done. In that way, when I complete the task I can rip it down and toss it in the trash.

No matter which way I look at it, my Type A personality takes over and creates more things to do. Moreover, when you sit down and think about it, there is always something else to do and/or get done. Beyond that, something constantly stands in the way, distracts or tells us “Not Now!”

So what good are these ‘To Do’ lists? Should we consider not using them? If so, what benefits are there in doing so?

How about: less stress, less clutter, no more rushing around super task-oriented and a realization of ‘everything in due time.’

If we let things happen naturally without pushing it, important things WILL get done. Of course, I find it helpful to know what exactly needs to get done, so I will probably continue making lists. But going with the flow more often than not might help alleviate any anxiety I have about meeting deadlines or feeling that sense of achievement.

So what is the take home message for today?

• Don’t obsess over it
• Be realistic about any time-line
• Improve prioritizing activities
• Finish one list before starting another
• Go with the flow and don’t force it

For me, I guess it would be to not let the list(s) take over my life. I am not getting away from these lists. I can’t do everything at once anyway, so why make myself crazy over it. Instead, use it as a tool of awareness and take one step at a time. Outside of working hard, isn’t that how we achieve our goals anyway? It’s something to think about and keep working on. Let me make a note of that!

Oops, here we go again! 

LOL.

Cheers!

Ventilating

Ventilating

©Allen Merritt (2015)

As a child I didn’t have many outlets for expelling my frustration. I would either escape into a world of creativity-imagination or I’d take off running down the street. I would run until I felt I couldn’t run any further. Then I’d have to turn around and make my way back home. I learned how to regulate my energy and estimate distance, time and energy while discovering how to get back to my happy place.

I love running and on occasion I still do it to alleviate frustration. Things can get the best of us if we’re not careful. Before we get carried away by all the chaos we can take moments to ventilate appropriately. Venting supports my idea of allowing yourself the chance to feel what you are going to feel prior to letting it go. I advocate for this, because I don’t believe in sweeping it under the rug and hoping it will disappear (whatever “it” may be).

I also used to journal write as a means to convey my thoughts and feelings while working through them. There are all sorts of wonderful things that can happen when you journal.

Recently I watched a movie that focused on ventilating techniques (albeit not all were healthy). It was the film WILD. The main character took a sabbatical from her life and went for an incredible journey via hiking. One scene in particular placed her up on a mountain where she loses a hiking boot and everything comes flooding out in a primal guttural scream. Then she moved on.

I have seen a few television sitcoms that play out scenes where people learn to get past their differences by hitting each other with rubber and sponge-like sticks. Usually, (in the program) they end up laughing, which proves therapeutic, allowing both parties to let a situation go.

While ventilating to the extent of violence is never a good thing (as proven my all the recent riots in the news), controlled venting is a form of therapy that aides in bringing us back to a positive point of view and allows us to escape for a moment, think through a situation more thoroughly, find acceptance, embrace it, give ourselves a chance to find understanding or a solution and/or make a healthy decision which benefits everyone.

With these thoughts in mind, I woke up this morning with images of how people vent and venting techniques. Here are some ideas I think are simultaneously helpful and harmless to other persons, places or things. Many may be familiar.

·        Popping individual bubbles on bubble-pack plastic.
·        Blowing up balloons and popping them
·        Punching a pillow or swinging it around at a solid, unbreakable substance.
·        Talk it out with a confidant
·        Journal and write it out
·        Working out (hiking, aerobics, boxing or karate classes, weight training, etc.)
·        Roller skating/blading
·        Paintballing
·        Creative outlets
·        Controlled food fights
·        Silly string or toilet papering fight

Of course some of these ideas may need a little clean up, but if you have friends and confidants that want to share in turning frustration into fun, then it may well be worth it.

There are even online outlets promoting the idea of venting such as blahthereapy.com and muttr.com. 

That’s right! You can vent online with a therapist, individual or group.  While venting may seem like you are yelling or disclosing personal things to strangers may not be for everyone, it may be a viable option when you cannot find anyone to talk with, but you need to let it all out. 

Check out http://mashable.com/2008/03/08/vent-your-anger for a list of other possible websites, if interested.

Here some additional tips I found from an online resource.¹

Benefits of Venting Your Emotions, Feelings, And Thoughts

• Less Bottled Up Anger, Sadness, & Frustration
• Feelings of Relief
• Let’s Others In & In Most Cases They Can Help
• Get Advice From Support
• Express Yourself
• Clear Your Conscience

Tips & Advice To Help You Vent The Correct Way

• Vent When Your Calm
• Think Before You Speak
• Don’t Complain Too Much
• Don’t Vent To A Person Your Angry With
• Vent On Paper First If Possible

Never underestimate the value of controlled venting. We are emotional and human. We feel things. Go ahead and feel it and don’t be afraid to move past it.

Cheers!

http://www.danielbranch.com/vent-your-emotions-feelings-and-thoughts.¹ (Viewed on 5/7/2015)

TLC Is More Than an Acronym

TLC Is More Than an Acronym

©Allen Merritt (2015)

I remembered an adage from my childhood for which I have been thinking about this week. This axiom is TLC.

My mother used to say things in short form such as XYZ, PDQ, which meant Examine Your Zipper, Pretty Damn Quick (i.e. your zipper is down) and, of course, TLC.

TLC is an acronym, which can mean many things.

Consider the following: Tables, Ladders and Chairs, Tasty Little Cookies or Tylenol, Liquids and Crackers (a hangover cure).

Contractions such as TLC are everywhere these days. Think about it. You may use many of them yourself, such as LOL or OMG! Additionally, acronyms for texting and abbreviating long phrases or organizational names have become quite popular, especially with the upgrades in telecommunications. Moreover, the ellipsis TLC is not only reserved for The Learning Channel (a television network) or a popular modern R & B girl band, but also for the concept of tender-loving-care.

In this day and age, every person, place or thing can use a little something to help them feel special and good about themselves. And, it shouldn’t come from a personal escape by way of drugs, alcohol or other addictions; the idea being to find a pathway towards ones-self and not away from ones-self. Okay, that’s a lot to say in a short paragraph, but it leads me to ponder about important things such as our human essence and core, human fragility and our ability to recover and be resilient in life. It is these thoughts which brought me to the subject of this little thing known as TLC.

When I think of TLC, I think of passion and compassion, a little kindness, gentleness, a touch, a smile and more importantly, a sense of care. It doesn’t mean a person has to be familial or intimately involved to be engaged and practice it with other human beings.

To me, TLC is like a suit of armor against the wackiness of the world when you are not finding the support you need to keep it real, especially when you think apathy is running rampant among us.

I personally believe all people need reminders every once in a while to reign ourselves back to the all important stuff. It’s easy to get distracted and caught up in the no nonsense. However, it’s nice to know that if you look around there are still beautiful things going on out there in the world related to the idea of TLC. For example, people helping people or senior citizens getting a little extra care when they need it most. Instead of focusing on all the negativity which saturates our media and our societies, we can center our attention on the good things, the positive things which feed our spirit.

I think a good place to start is by showing ourselves a little tender-loving-care. There are many ways to do that. For example:

• Smile at yourself when looking at your reflection
• Rub your hand up and down your arm
• Take a deep breath and exhale
• Encourage yourself
• Offer yourself a compliment
• Think positive thoughts
• Allow yourself to simply be in a moment

The list goes on and on. It starts individually and eventually transfers to those around you. So spread the good news! This week is all about Tender-Loving-Care. Show yourself a little TLC and then give others a little TLC.

TLC, PDQ = Tender-Loving-Care, Pretty Damn Quick!

Cheers!

Yoga Laughter!

Yoga Laughter!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Okay, here we go! Today is perfect!

It’s a happy-go-lucky kind of day. Want to know why?

Because it’s World Laughter Day!

Ever start laughing and cannot stop?

It’s kind of like a case of the hiccups except you’re not as apt to try and get rid of the giggles!

I don’t know anyone who doesn't love to laugh. Whether it is a joke, watching a comedy or experiencing a bout of tickling, laughter is fun.

According to laughteryoga.org, laughing releases happy and healthy endorphin's which help to lower blood pressure and those pesky little stress levels.¹ In fact, generating laughter in any environment leads to a healthy outlook both physically and mentally. I think it is safe to say that laughter is good for you.

Generally, laughter doesn't happen on command, but when it happens it is contagious.² Quite possibly, that is why comedy clubs and comedians are so popular. We have many choices when it comes to finding our fun. The point is making it a priority to discover what tickles are funny bone enough to initiate laughter.

I have noticed many articles on something called yoga laughter. This is a purposeful attempt to instigate laughter which causally turns into more contagious and spontaneous laughter as time goes by. I like the idea, because sometimes in the heat of things you need a good laugh to release tension or break up the monotony of the mundane. Laughter gives us a break and clears our head for a moment so we are not stuck in a rut longer than need be. Yoga Laughter is therapeutic and is much like going to an exercise class. If you Google it, you may find an opportunity near you. Between Yoga Laughter classes and going to a comedy club and ROTFLYAO (Rolling-On-The-Floor-And-Laughing-Your-Ass-Off), you could reap some health benefits and give those abs a good workout. Can’t beat that!

So, when it comes to finding ways to experience life positively, laughter is a good choice. I’d say that if laughter really is the best medicine, everyone better go refill their prescription!

Now, that is one drug I can get behind and support!

Today, in support of humor and good health I am leaving you with this link from the classic movie Mary Poppins (1964). The scene is about laughter.

“I love to laugh!  Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!”

Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RTokqMhAuE

I also encourage everyone to go out and celebrate World Laughter Day on Sunday, May 3, 2015. Spread the word and have a good laugh or two.

Happy World Laughter Day!

Cheers!

http://www.laughteryoga.org/english/laughteryoga¹ (Viewed on 4/28/2015)

http://deliveringhappiness.com/10-fun-facts-about-laughter² (Viewed on 4/29/2015)