Signs!

Signs!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Several years ago I conducted a couple of intensives. One was on Assertiveness and the other was about Understanding Perspective. I loved facilitating those workshops. One reason I enjoyed it was because I got to be a part of creating scenarios, exercises and games which aided in bringing about understanding on some level. For a long time I have held a strong interest in helping people turn things around. I call it motivational therapy. When I went back to college the closest I could find in the way of a degree was Psychology, so that is what I went for. Toward the end of my undergrad I discovered there was a young branch of Psychology known as Positive Psychology. I guess I chose well.

In any case, psychological wellness appealed to me and drew me in as it still does today. I believe human beings have the ability to nurture and grow in resilience to help them overcome obstacles, challenges and hurdles. It usually means finding innovative ways to recognize our level of perception and how to alter it in such a way that we can see another side to things.

Often we can find things starring us in the face or sitting right under our noses. Have you ever found your keys exactly where they should have been, but you had trouble finding them? What about looking for those glasses which were sitting on your head the entire time? Or, did you ever hide something thinking you were putting it in a safe location, but had trouble remembering where it was? All these examples prove that when we take a moment and back track or lighten up on ourselves a bit we can discover things were already in order or not as bad as they initially seemed. Easier said on hindsight, huh?

With this in mind, one of the exercises I like to use in workshop scenarios has to do with paying attention and finding those things which are right in front of us and pointing toward good thoughts, feelings and positive messages. Participants are asked to be observant out in public and take photos of positive messages they normally would have missed. Then they can look back upon those photos and even share them with others. During our time together I have them look through magazines and newspapers and find the messages that speak specifically to them. Good thoughts are out there and they are visible in the way of signs such as these. Advertisements and headlines can truly open up some good feelings for us, if we are paying attention and are on the lookout for them.  For example, I found an ad recently in a small obscure circular that had, “Oh, Yes You Can” emblazoned all over it. To me, that is a message we all can stand to see on a daily basis to keep us moving forward. I call this a sign of life.

Now, have you ever noticed when someone specifically points something out to you and then you suddenly become aware of it every time you see it? For example, you have a conversation about a particular type of car and then for several days afterwards you see so many of those cars you can hardly believe it. That isn’t a coincidence. Your mind is consciously aware.

Need to turn things around for the better? Look for the good news. Use this idea to open up fresh doors and change negative thoughts into positive ones. It’s easy and fun once you get started. Signs are everywhere: billboards, bus stops, magazines, newspapers, internet, bumper stickers, license plates, balloons, etc. These little messages can be likened to that of a cheerleader encouraging us on!

Go get ‘em!

Please share your ideas and comments by contributing to the comments below. Feel free to SHARE this page with others.

Cheers!

Boredom!

Boredom!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

I once heard someone say, “Boredom is an unreality.” I am not certain the context for which it was stated/used, but it resonated within me. Something in the statement rang true. I guess it spoke to me on how in this day and age there is always something to do. How can anyone be bored? At the same time, I realize most people feel this way from time to time. Are we overwhelmed with choices? Are there too many options? Is it about money or the lack thereof? Are our interests so high maintenance they extend beyond our reach? Or is it simply that we just can’t get into whatever it is we are a part? How do we get that spark back?

So, is boredom a reality that impacts our life and, if so how much? Is the aforementioned statement about boredom being an unreality more real than we know? It is easy to fall into a pattern of saying we’re bored with something. But what does that mean?

According to MENTALFLOSS.COMᶦ, there are five types of boredom, which include indifference, apathetic, calibrating, reactive and searching. The article doesn’t really offer solutions, only a listing, but it is something to think about. It seems to me that boredom if left unattended may be symptomatic of a deeper problem that needs a positive swing and a quick kick in the keister. I can’t imagine that anyone really wants to feel bad when all is said and done. So how does one handle this issue? I mean, if most people actually experience this thing called boredom, then it is a reality as long as we allow it to sit there and stew.

In many ways, this relates to last week’s blog about the “Blahs.” I think it refers to our ability to be conscientiously aware of ourselves (and the circumstances) enough to catch it as it begins to creep up on us. Nip it in the bud. Stop it before it gets out of hand and takes us away to that place no one wants to visit.

The idea of boredom has to do with emotion as much as motivation and drive. It may also be related to antsy ants-in-the pants anxiety. It seems to me the answer revolves around not just sitting there, but taking healthy action to alleviate the feeling. I think I understand the idea of boredom being an unreality to mean it can always be eliminated when we meet it head on and face-to-face. Boredom is only a fleeting moment when we feel it and move away from it. I agree boredom is an emotion, which becomes the take-away when I ponder the reality or unreality of boredom ideology.

The remedy starts with us. The question to ask is what are we going to do about it? Are we going to let it stew and let boredom integrate into our reality or are we going to engage in something? We can never say we are bored when we are involved in an activity. Sometimes just the act of doing something pushes us forward away from boredom. Moreover, I think there is a difference between boredom and the experience of highs and lows in our careers, relationships, dreams and other areas of our lives.

Ultimately deciding whether or not boredom is a reality or an unreality is an individual choice and decision. In my opinion, that is just the point! Boredom is a choice and a decision once recognized. I am not going to deny having ever felt and experienced it. But when I do I am always aware of it and look for a way out as quickly as I can. And, I am much happier in doing so!

ᶦhttp://mentalfloss.com/article/54074/there-are-5-types-boredom (Views 1/15/2015)

Please share your ideas and comments by contributing to the comments below. Feel free to SHARE this page with others.

Cheers!

Blah!

Blah!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

I’m sure I don’t really need to ask this, but have you ever had a day where you felt the “Blahs?” Or, everyone in your life seems to be talking annoying nonsense and at some point all you hear is, “Blah-Blah-Blah?” You know, one of those days where you are dragging yourself around and appear to be going nowhere fast until it becomes excruciatingly aggravating and you think your head might pop off? Well, then, you understand what it is like to have a case of the “Blahs!”

Today, I’d like to make a case for the “Blahs.”

According to a dictionary definition of the word “Blah,” ᶦ it refers to that which is dull, boring, uninteresting, without any kind of energy or enthusiasm. It is lethargic and conveys a sense of dissatisfaction. No doubt, there are times when it becomes difficult to pull yourself up and out of those doldrums. For me, sometimes I need to slap myself and shake it off, because if I let it, that “Blah” feeling can linger all day long. Life is too short to sit in that place for longer than a minute. Needless-to-say, I always feel better once I push myself over the threshold and focus my mind on something. For example, if I know I should go down to the gym and get a little exercise, then the first step to getting there and forgetting the doldrums is to get dressed in my workout clothes, pack my activity bag and put the keys in my hand and make my way to the door. Once I get there and start stretching, warming up and doing a few things, I have already been successful in moving on from those ‘Blahs.” However, if I let myself sit around, twiddle my thumbs, sigh a lot, let my mind wander off starring into space, then I am defeated. What a waste! The key is to notice it right away, be conscious enough to stop it before it gets out of hand and do not let anything deter or talk you out of moving on and accomplishing something good for yourself.

Now, there are other times where those “Blahs” can be beneficial, because they give you a chance to think, re-consider, imagine, brainstorm and troubleshoot things. In those moments a solution may appear. In either case, the “Blahs” prove themselves helpful if we refuse to allow them to bite us in the backside and hold us back.

The plural version of the “Blahs” (Blah-Blah-Blah) refers to inane, nonsensical and pretentious babble where you may find yourself wanting to scream, “Shut up already!”  I would dare say most people experience this due to impatience, time constraints, a desire to filter out those things unproductive to a situation and more. Unfortunately, this social enigma can only be controlled under certain circumstances and often affects us only to the extent we allow it to. The positive swing on this is how one responds by either contributing or changing the topics, expressing ourselves appropriately or choosing to excuse ourselves from the chatter. The operative here is choose or choice to change the situation.

Interestingly, after conducting a little research, I discovered a fun place you can go if you feel the need to be the one initiating the “Blah-Blah-Blah.” Sometimes your venting is a “Blah-Blah-Blah” to someone else. If you Google the word “Blah,” you will find there is actually a website that hooks you up with a listener (or you can be the listener) which allows you to ventilate. The purpose is to help people lighten their load and smile again without scarring off family, friends and your latest date. It’s cheaper then psychotherapy. It’s called BLAHTHERAPY.COM. Everyone needs someone to talk to every once in a while to shake off the wackiness going on in the world. As human beings, we want someone to listen to us and allow us to express. Otherwise, we pull ourselves down into a world of re-hashing and negativity that no one wants to be around. Now, nothing can replace a mental health and wellness professional, but in certain situations a simple ‘let it out and let it go’ moment is effective for moving onward.

Maybe having a case of the “Blahs” is an opportunity and/or warning sign pushing you forward toward a state of creativity and productivity. Something inside you needs your attention. It needs you to push past the chatter and the clutter. Taking advantage of such opportunities determine the outcomes. Make sense, or is this becoming a little too much ‘Blah-Blah-Blah?”?

Please share your ideas and comments by contributing to the comments below. Feel free to SHARE this page with others.

Cheers!

ᶦ http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/blah (viewed 1/14/2015)

Sing A Little!

Sing A Little!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Last week I was one of many struck with a little bit of the flu. It pretty much ate up my week, had me mostly in bed and under the covers. Luckily, I felt it coming on early and made my attempts to curb it, but in the end, those efforts only helped a little. When you are struck with cold and flu stuff, you have to wait it out. This is frustrating when you really want to get up and going.

Feeling like a zombie for days on end is never appealing. But as you round the corner and cross over that threshold toward recovery, it’s like seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and a sense of calm and joy starts creeping back in. At the end of it all, even the most mundane of days can appear brighter.

I’ve noticed that you can read all the positive stuff you want, hear others cheer you on and ask you to hang in there, keep a stiff upper lip, it’s all going to get better, but until you yourself grasp onto any of those insights they don’t mean anything.  When I don’t feel well, I am stuck in limbo land. However, I do realize how being open-minded, accessible and adaptable to some extent will help lead us down happier pathways.  Just as it is when you have the flu and don’t feel well, you have to take care of yourself and work your way through it. Sometimes, it’s beyond our control.

For me, I know I am feeling better when something makes me laugh. Out of nowhere and unexpectedly I catch a giggle. In that moment I consciously am aware of a change.  That, in and of itself, makes me feel better. Another thing I’ve noticed about myself is that when I begin to hum or sing a little song, I am on the right road to recovery. When both of these things take place I see the not so good turning itself around. I like that! It feels good to feel good. Turning things around instills something in me about working through things; or, how we sometimes have to brave a little bit of the winter before we can enjoy summer.

It may appear simple-minded, but forging forward until I can laugh a little and sing a little just might be the best way to turn those frowns upside down, as some will say. Somehow, this makes sense to me rather than constantly wallowing in my own self-pity and moaning, “Oh! Whoa is me.” If laughter is the best medicine and singing helps us come alive, then I want to re-new my prescription!  At least, that’s the way I see it.

In closing, I’d like to remind everyone of the hit “Sing a Song” written by Louis Prima. It may bring back some memories. If you want to sing along, here are some YouTube links:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLsqApf_-GY (Carpenters Version)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAkJNWRQF18 (Shirley Bassey version)

Sing, sing a song
Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things not bad
Sing of happy not sad.

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

Please share your ideas and comments by contributing to the comments below. Feel free to SHARE this page with others.

Cheers!

Yes, No…Maybe!

Yes, No…Maybe!

©Allen Merritt (2015)

Over the years I have had phone calls or face to face conversations where the person I am speaking with will answer/respond, “Yes?” and I follow up by interjecting my silly sense of humor with, “No! Well, maybe!” The usual response is, “Huh?”

I like playing with words and ideas.  I get a kick out of throwing the occasional curve ball just described. Interestingly, it provides an opportunity to stop and consider something. This week I have been pondering the word “No.”

Now, I have never written a blog before, but I have felt for a long time that many people are feeling lost, troubled, are hurting and can benefit from an occasional reminder on what matters most or how to take a moment to see things from a different point of view. Personally, I have had my fair share of ups and downs, but one thing I see in myself is ‘resilience’.  I enjoy turning things around for the better, especially when I put myself out there at the scrutiny of others. I believe there is a difference between constructive criticism and negativity. One is helpful. The other is not. With that in mind, I am still going to feel what I am going to feel before moving on. If I don’t acknowledge the negative feelings and situations, then they simply get swept under a rug.

It seems to me the word “No” can strike an emotional chord. “No” is a word many people consider negative. Who wants to hear or receive “No” as an answer to a question, request, promotion or proposition? Children know these feelings quite well since parents are usually quick to hand it out. Children also learn the word “No” pretty fast and how to use it in the age of the terrible two’s. They use it a lot thinking it will garner attention and get them what they want.

Contemplating the negative consequences of the word, I found myself considering how “No” might be considered a positive.  For example, it may serve to protect us in certain situations such as when you were denied the privilege of playing in the middle of a heavily trafficked street. “No” can be a good self-preservation tool to eliminate those troublesome situations in your life for which there isn’t enough time or energy for. Thinking about it in these ways actually does turn a few of those “No’s” into “Yes’s.” Nothing is set in stone!

Think about the following:  

1) I once heard someone say that if the universe has some great success in store for you, nothing is going to stop it from coming to fruition. (To me, this is like saying, “If God is for us, then who can be against us.”). I felt the comment had a positive outlook.  What it said to me is that there is room for possibilities and hope. It could be a “No.” It could be a “Yes.” It could be a “Maybe.” Sometimes life is hit or miss that way, but it leaves room for growth.

2) Consider “No” as a process of selection.  If there is only one position and only one winner, should that stop the runners up from continuing down the road to success? I don’t think so. Maybe the decision was truly about selecting and not rejecting.  

Of course, the answer isn’t always “Yes.” Sometimes it really is a flat out, “No” or “Maybe.” Since I am not the kind of person who views life as black and white, it only makes sense to take a good look at the situation and mull over its possibilities. After all, isn’t it true nothing is absolute?

Yes?

No!

Maybe.

Please share your ideas and comments by contributing to the comments below. Feel free to SHARE this page with others.

Cheers!

First Thought: Best Thought

First Thought: Best Thought
©Allen Merritt (2014)

Welcome to the New Year!

I want to make the most out of moving forward in life this year, especially in consideration of all the chaos that surrounds us day in and day out. I believe it my personal responsibility to create more positive outcomes, so I've decided to share my observations and thoughts by writing a weekly blog (of sorts) and posting any good news I discover from my daily encounters.

My first subject is about getting started on the right foot each day. The little photo I shared is simple. It shares an idea - FIRST THOUGHT: BEST THOUGHT. Four little words causing me to stop and ponder how to turn things around before I even need to. It is an interesting psychology to grasp in that we (as human beings) tend to jump the gun, react too quickly and/or make too many assumptions. Can we control our thought patterns by suspending judgment long enough to turn it around and find something good in the moment, look for a positive twist, have a little giggle and let something go, discover what matters most and allow ourselves to enjoy our lives just that much more in the midst of pandemonium? Maybe starting off on the right foot means bringing ourselves back to a state of mind which allows for imperfections by understanding HOW those imperfections happen even within ourselves.

To make a better day for everyone may mean waking up and realizing we are already blessed with a great gift of another day to try and be the best we possibly can be. That first thought may lead to a little smile, which results in a moment of thanksgiving or attitude of gratitude.

Let's face it; it is too easy to go on the attack. Many times it is unnecessary and leads to hurt feelings, animosity and misunderstandings. Think about it. What is your first thought when someone says something to you that does not sit well or make sense to you? What is that first thought when you suddenly feel offended? What is your first notion when you find yourself in disagreement? Is that first thought the best thought for continuing and/or furthering a civil conversation? Does it generate a sense of calm? I think many people are interested in turning things around and finding a little more peace in each day. One good thought may ripple into another and before you know it things do not seem so crazy. Having a good day can’t be a bad thing, right?

So, as each of us begin a New Year, thinking on ways to improve our individual circumstances, I hope the idea of making our first thoughts our best thoughts doesn't seem like a far-fetched idea, but a realistic one in creating a better day.

I would love everyone to share their own ideas and comments by contributing to this blog in the comments below. Feel free to share this page.

Cheers!